Deja Blue
by Kintora
Summary: Namine is a new student at Twilight High. Although shy and awkward at first, she's hell bent on fitting in. But it's not so easy when she keeps bumping into the resident ghost of the school, and finds herself falling in love too. NaminexRoxas, Sokai, AU.
1. A Certain Normalcy

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 1: A Certain Normalcy

………

A/N: Yes, I know some of my readers would kill me for starting a new story, but hey! Technically, I'm not just starting. _You can see what I mean if you read the notices in my bio._ I actually finished this whole story and it's pretty much good to go to the publisher in it's original format. This is just the fan fiction version that I'm uploading on just for you guys. It's a little different, but I think you'll like it all the same. When my book is ready to go out to the public in print, I'll let you guys know all the details.

**Disclaimer:** This will be the final time in the whole length of the story that I will disclaim all the Kingdom Hearts characters and a certain Twilight Town. However – original characters, plot, and certain places in my make-believe Twilight Town all belong to me. For instance, **Twilight High School** _absolutely _belongs to me. It is _not _from the game series, but rather, it was conjured up in my thoughts. (Other examples include Evening Flower Lane, Sunrise Boulevard, etc.) I do not this story reproduced anywhere else, nor do I want to my plot stolen. Likewise, I would greatly appreciate it if you guys would keep an eye out for me, and let me know if you see any of my work uploaded anywhere else. Thank you!

………

………

The day was beginning to dawn, the birds were chirping, and the dog outside was barking incessantly somewhere on Evening Flower lane. People were beginning to wake up with growing smiles that could outshine the morning star. Of course, those were people who were used to life in Twilight Town. It seemed that there was only one person who could barely pull her bedraggled body out of bed. This same youth seriously wanted to damn the brightening day to the burning pits of hell.

Meet Namine. As a sweet sixteen-year-old girl going on seventeen, she would be attending Twilight High as a new junior this very same morning. On any other day, she would probably be the most normal, cheeriest person on the face of the planet. But that was any other day.

Lets get this straight. Namine was a far cry from cheery on any morning, and she definitely was not your average teenager for that matter either. No, no, no… It's understood that no one and nobody are actually average or normal. The world would like you to think that you are your own unique self and have your own unique life to live – and so that all makes you a special person. But Namine was a special person. She was just special-er-er…

Oh, she was _quite_ special. You'll see why.

"**NAMINE! #$&$&#&&$$&#$#$!**"

"Urgh!" Namine coughed as a heavy weight dropped onto her stomach, Hayner, get off of me!" Namine struggled under her brother's weight to turn over. She wished it were last night again, so she could get some more shuteye. That, and she wished her room were soundproof and Hayner-free.

"No, you'll just go straight back to sleep, sis. And guess who gets yelled at by mom when you don't wake up?"

Namine grumbled, "Me? I'm not pansy like you – mom doesn't scare me. So go away already…"

Hayner's good-natured voice laughed above her, "No, I get the stick. Mom expects me to take care of you since I'm a boy – and your older twin brother."

_He wears that title like a crown_, Namine thought as she cracked a blue eye open wearily and glared up at her not-so-twin-like-twin, "Go. Away."

Hayner ruffled her blonde hair affectionately, "Aww, hey. Always a grouch in the morning, huh? Did you have a bad dream last night, or a wet one?" He paused, snickering, "Is that why you're so cozy on the floor?"

Namine simply yawned and stretched, rolling over and flipping Hayner off of her stomach unceremoniously. Honestly, sometimes her so-called big brother acted like such a kid. Well, he was only the older twin anyway. She mumbled sarcastically, "No, I felt like sleeping on the floor last night."

"Really?" he asked, disbelievingly. Namine almost laughed seeing his gullible hazel eyes widen.

"Yes really. Now give me five more minutes, dummy."

Hayner quirked an eyebrow at her and shrugged. Apparently, his sister was grumpier than usual on this particular morning. He couldn't blame her though. It was their big day. He could only watch her helplessly as Namine's tangled mop of blonde hair snuggled back under the covers pooling above the carpeted floorboard.

He grinned mischievously as he stood up. A brother's got to do what a brother's got to do. Even if it was at the risk of his sister's temper.

Namine heard him walk away down the hall outside of her door. She smiled to herself despite the fogginess of sleep still tugging at her mind so early in the morning. Suddenly, she felt the hairs on the back of her beck rise as she saw an image behind her eyelids of Hayner and a water bottle in his left hand, quietly unscrewing the cap above her head, and tilting it downwards…

"Don't."

Startled, Hayner moved back, "I'm not doing anything."

"Then what's that water bottle doing in your left hand?" Namine asked from under her quilted sheets.

"What?" Hayner asked, trying to play dumb. He saw the covers rise and fall quickly as Namine giggled. "What?" he asked again with more conviction. He felt worried now. The grouch never laughed in the morning.

Namine poked her head out from under the covers and grinned at him, "Why are you wearing those Barney boxers that mom bought you last Christmas? I thought you said you'd never wear them!"

His jaw dropped and his eyes bugged as he gawked, "You… You – ! This better not be some kind of weird one-way twin telepathy thingie!"

"Nope. I just had a vision," Namine smiled sweetly at him, "Don't worry though. I didn't see anything else." She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes before standing up and throwing the covers back onto the bed, "You win. I'm going to shower now."

She walked past her stupefied twin as she stepped into the hall. No later than she enter the bathroom did a breeze zoom by just as Hayner disappeared into his room at the other end of the corridor. No doubt to change out of his Barney boxers right away, she thought grinning widely.

Breakfast was normal to say the least. Namine, no matter how late she woke up, was always first to the table.

After gulping down some cheerios and juice, she hurried over to her reflection before the fridge. Adjusting her white blouse and blue plaid skit, she stared a while at herself before pulling a small frown. Running her hand through her dull blonde hair, Namine wished she could have been born with more "good" looks like Hayner. All the girls swooned at him at their old school, and nobody could believe that the two of them were even related – much less twins. While he stood tall and proud, a total blitzball jock who knew how to win girls as much as he knew how to win games – she stood at a petite five two height and could blend unnoticeably against a wall. Both of them could style their hair for ages, but only Hayner could keep his wavy highlighted hair all chic and gravity-defying. Not that she wanted anything gravity-defying, but she couldn't make her hair any more stylized than 'blah.'

As she continued to model before her refrigerator, she hardly noticed Hayner as he waltzed over to the counter and grabbed an orange. He peeled its skin into a perfect orange ribbon before prying the fruit apart idly, "You nervous, Namine?"

"Mmhm," Namine hummed absently as she pulled her hair into a ponytail, inspecting it carefully before tugging the fat white ribbon out again and stuffing it into a hidden pocket inside her pleated skirt. She continued to tug at her hair and turn around dejectedly, only to leap backwards into the fridge from her twin's leering face. Hayner grinned cheerfully at her, dancing away before she could feed him a knuckle sandwich for breakfast. She huffed irritably at him before giving her bloodless cheeks a few slaps to create a pink blush while inspecting her image on the fridge again.

Hayner's playful voice called back at her from the door, "I wouldn't keep looking at the fridge if I were you, Namine. No matter how much you look at it – it'll always stay a fridge."

"I hope you know I was looking at myself, thanks."

Hayner flashed her another smile as he bent for his book bag, "Well then, no matter how much you look at yourself, you're not about to get skinny any time soon, my little phat sis."

"Fat!" Namine snorted. She turned around and let her hands fall, "Actually…"

Hayner looked at her oddly, "What is it?"

Namine shifted her eyes to him, "What kind of people do you think we'll meet? I've never been good at making friends, remember?"

She turned away again and tugged relentlessly at her hair again, "I'm weird. I don't fit in like you since I…" She laughed suddenly, unnerving her brother slightly, "Since I can't seem to _behave_, for the lack of better words."

Namine twisted a lock of her pale blonde hair over and over around her finger. Suddenly, she felt Hayner grab her hand, startling her. She looked at him irritably, "What?"

"First," he began, "Leave your hair alone. It's done nothing terrible to you, nor has your swelling, purple finger."

Namine opened her mouth to retort, but Hayner cut her off again, "And, you need to reign in your sense of speech a bit. Honesty's something many people don't have, but that doesn't mean you should be so straightforward all the time," He gave her a fake painful face, "If I weren't your poor and abused brother who's used your attitude, I'd probably have jumped a building already."

"Hayner!"

He winked at her, "Hey, I'm just being honest."

Namine rolled her eyes, but wisely kept the next comment to herself as she stooped to grab her black school bag. Lifting an eyebrow at her brother, she pointed to his tattered shoes, "Hey, are you sure you're wearing those things with your uniform? Where are the new loafers that mom got for you?"

Her twin picked at his white dress shirt and stuffed his hands into a pocket of his dark slacks. He shrugged slightly, causing the unattended blazer on his shoulder to slip a few inches, "I skateboard to school for one. And why not? I can wear anything and pull it off with this hot bod and face."

Namine hummed, skipping out the door with her roller blades, "Like your Barney boxers? Lets add that pink tutu I made you wear when we were six."

"Hey, be quiet about stuff like that! What happens if a cute girl walking down the street heard you say that to me?" he whined after her.

"My words do justice, not crime," Namine retorted smartly.

"Yeah? Well I'll bet you could make prisoners pee their pants if you really tried."

Namine felt more light-hearted as she continued to squabble and banter with her brother as he skateboarded beside her on the way to school. School would definitely be a challenge though, even if her brother would be there, watching her back everyday like he always did. It was something she could never take lightly even if she tried.

Still, she would try to fit in – as in, try to take a leaf out of Hayner's book.

Namine sighed feeling the cool morning air whip past her face.

Alas, she only said she would try.

………

Namine skidded to a halt before the looming school gates and began to loosen her roller blades. She bent down, tying the laces together before swinging one blade over her shoulder. Her gray-blue eyes scoured the school grounds, her stomach knotting in anticipation. Honestly, it didn't look like a bad place. The school was built on fresh cut grass that stretched out like a field on all sides. There were surprisingly few buildings snuggling against the vast green boundaries for a huge high school built in the middle of an urban city. Twilight High itself didn't look imposing either, seeing as it was wide and spacious looking and the architecture faintly reminded her of a typical Marseille's palace. It was a few stories high with beige sandstone walls, several pillars, and many tall, wide iridescent windows that lined the building walls giving off a welcoming air of elegance and prestige.

To say the least, the construction was better than she expected for an urban high school. It was the epitome of a modern Palais Longchamp. Yet she didn't feel like stepping a foot onto the green and flowery school grounds.

The problem?

Way too many people crowded the grounds before the main entrances. Still, she forced herself to stumble through the gates on her own (seeing as Hayner ditched her the instant they reached the gates!) The awful awkwardness made her feel a little sick. She didn't know anybody there, besides her brother. Being the new kid at school was never easy for her, as she tended to distance herself from curious stares. What was the icebreaker speech that she and Hayner worked on for her days, and days ago? How did it even start?

'Hi, my name is Namine nice to meet you.'

'Hi, I'm new. My brother and I just moved from...'

It must have slipped her mind.

She could practically hear Hayner's voice in her head urging her to go introduce herself to people who seemed to want to talk to her, but were too shy to. She could hear him say that taking the first step gave other people a nice first impression and could gain her some allies or even friends in school – even a place to sit at during lunch.

Or, she convinced herself that she could sneak off to the library during lunch and save herself the trouble of talking.

After all, the student body seemed riddled with different cliques and prejudices. For instance, she could see the jocks and cheerleaders near some butterfly bushes by the front entrance, possibly some punk and emo kids (the hair and black make-up giving them away) hanging around a bench under the towering oak tree, some other average groups, and various loners dotting the area – like that really good-looking blonde guy leaning against the school building by himself. He had a bored expression on his handsome face, just like a lot of other people as they toiled their free time away before the bell rang. She saw him staring off into space when he suddenly noticed he was being watched by the way his eyes flickered towards her. She turned away before she could be caught.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a cocky-looking boy walk up to a girl with a sunny, yellow scrunchy around her wrist. At first, Namine thought it was a little odd as the boy seemed all tough and arrogant bending forward towards the girl and causing her to back up several paces. Whatever the case, Namine could tell that they were not boyfriend and girlfriend. She saw the brunette girl cringe. They weren't even friends, Namine realized, he was the bully and she was the victim by the way they were acting.

Namine itched to step forward, but thought better after remembering Hayner's earlier words and her little vow to try fitting in. She was prepared to keep her distance when the visions bombarded her mind and flashed before her eyes again for the second time that morning.

Namine saw the same girl, probably years younger, getting bullied and then thrown against the ground and trampled on. But always, the light sunny smile and her cheery face never wavered.

Then a more recent image flashed before her – the smile was still the same; only her pale body lay drenched by the pattering rain in a dark, dirty alley. Namine blinked, snapping out of her trance. She couldn't tell if it ever even took place.

But frankly, she couldn't give a flying fig. Here she was, standing around, the only person bothering to look in their direction – and she was doing _absolutely nothing_ to help the poor girl. And it wasn't because she was scared to get hurt. She was scared because she thought she wouldn't fit in afterwards. Just whom was she trying to impress? It made Namine feel like she was being a selfish pig – something she was not used to feeling. She felt like she was lower than the bully himself.

Her eyes were hard as she watched the gangster-like blonde boy as he traced the vivid scar line between his contentious eyes. The instant she heard him speak, Namine knew she wouldn't be able to stand him if she ever saw him again.

"Hey, bird-brain. You ready to answer my request from the other day?" he sneered.

The sunny brunette seemed so strained holding that smile, though Namine was sure she was fighting the urge to frown, "Sorry, Seifer. But I'll have to say no."

"No, you don't have an answer, or no, you won't agree," Seifer scoffed rudely, "You're as air-headed as ever, bitch."

"My name is Selphie," the smiling girl said simply. She added after regaining some courage, "And no, I don't want to follow your request."

Seifer's sneer curled even more, "You're just a girl though. I can make you do anything."

Selphie shook her head and turned away. She mumbled more to herself than to him, almost as if she was convincing herself, "You can't make me do anything."

Namine watched sullenly as she struggled to contain the rage that twisted harrowingly in her gut. She tried to stand still and reason with herself whether it was a good idea to break up the fight now. She was hoping Selphie would just walk away – and Selphie was starting to walk away when Seifer suddenly grabbed a fistful of her brown hair and shook her. He brought his lips to her ear to whisper something nasty despite the Selphie's attempts to free herself.

When he didn't let go, even as the school bell rang, Namine found herself walking towards them. Even as her logical self tried to convince her that she was making a big mistake butting into other people's business, Namine knew she couldn't let the bully continue, even if she felt like she was doing something stupid. But for now, grabbing Seifer's iron wrist seemed like the only thing she could do to stop him.

"What do you think you're doing?' Namine asked him coolly.

"Mind your own business," he spat before turning his cruel eyes on her. He looked her up and down, "On the other hand, I wouldn't mind minding yours if you know what I mean."

Namine recoiled inside from such an offer, but she was relentless as she narrowed her penetrating eyes, "How about you let her go first?"

Seifer smirked and let go of Selphie's spunky brown locks. He dropped his hands into his pockets and tilted his head to the side mockingly, "I'm all yours, sweet 'ums."

But Namine just ignored him, turning her attention back to Selphie, "Hey, are you going to be okay?"

Selphie nodded, her hair bobbing as she gave her an anxious smile, "I'll be fine. Thank you," she tugged at Namine's arm, "Quickly, let's go. We'll be late for class."

Namine's eyes softened as she nodded back. But another vision brushed her inner eye. Reacting before she even knew what she was doing, Namine jolted in front of Selphie, her momentum changing suddenly. The next thing she did know though, was the sharp snap of her face to the side and the numbing sting on the left side of her face as she fell to the ground.

Staggering as she quickly righted herself on her feet, Namine clutched a hand to her face, trying to stop the crazy spinning in her head. She blinked back some blurriness filming her vision and felt momentarily confused when she tasted a salty metallic taste in her mouth.

Selphie pulled her back quickly and examined Namine's face, asking if she could hear her. Numbly, Namine nodded, trying to squeeze the pain away by blinking the many stars she saw out of her eyes. On the other hand, Seifer stepped away with a strange expression, obviously having missed his target for the first time. He turned without a word and sauntered back towards a group of unruly kids before they talked a bit more before heading towards one of the side entrances.

Namine felt the numbing shock wearing off as her balance. She took her hand away from her tender cheek and stared incredulously after Seifer and his gang of egotistical freak-of-natures. Not one of them even cast her or Selphie a second look. She could feel the blood trickle from a corner of her mouth before she wiped it on the back of her hand hastily. It was a good thing that all her teeth were in tact, or else there would have been more hell to pay.

"Um…"

Namine looked at Selphie apologetically, "Sorry about that, I just feel a little sick. Selphie, right?" Selphie nodded quickly. Namine tried to smile, but could only grimace slightly when it hurt, "Cool name. I'm Namine – nice to meet you."

Selphie finally began to smile again, but this time, it was genuine as she took to Namine immediately, "Namine, thank you for helping me back there," Selphie pursed lips together, "But I think we should get the nurse to look at your face. I'm really sorry that you got dragged into something like this." She took Namine by the arm and led her inside the school.

As they passed the administration office, Namine began to protest, "W-wait! I still need to get my schedule."

"Don't worry about that right now. The nurse is really awesome, he'll give you a pass," she winked, "Besides, you can't waltz through the principal's door all banged up and mangled, right?"

Namine tried to laugh without stretching her sore jaw too much, "I suppose not. Anyway," she paused, "Did you say 'he'?"

Selphie nodded her head enthusiastically, "Oh yeah, Irvine's the best! He's even one of the school's counselors, so if it weren't for him, I'd have lost my mind already."

"I see," Namine grinned nervously, "This is a first. I've never seen a male nurse before." She tried to chase the image of an old, hairy man dressed in the typical white nurse getup. She wondered if he wore bright red lipstick too. Namine shuddered slightly.

"Cold?" Selphie asked, having mistaken Namine's reaction, "It is a bit chilly. I don't know why this school decides to dry freeze its student sometimes. The AC's on full force even during winter, you know?"

Seeing as the school was bigger than it looked on the outside (and that was saying a lot), and they didn't seem to be reaching the nurse's ward anytime soon, Namine spoke up, "So what's the nurse like?"

Selphie suddenly clasped her hands together and threw them up in the air as she spun around while walking, "He's nice, sweet, and really handsome! Trust me, you'll like him too." Namine had to stop walking to avoid getting hit in the face a second time.

"Handsome, eh?" asked a new voice from around a corner.

Before Namine could even turn around, she saw Selphie jump and go red in an instant. Namine would have laughed if her face didn't hurt so much when she did. Her eyes finally shifted to the man standing behind them. He looked too old to be a student, but too young to be a teacher too. That made him fall somewhere in between a university student or a grad student.

She was mentally guessing why he was in the building when he snapped his fingers before her face.

"Hey there beautiful, anybody in there?"

Namine blinked, but managed a half smile, "Right here. You are?" She couldn't be too sure as to who this cow-boy-like man was.

"Irvine's the name," he winked one honest brown eye at her and swept a long brown lock from his face. It almost looked like he just saluted her with an invisible hat, "The _handsome_ nurse of Twilight High if you will."

Namine's jaw would have dropped to the ground if it were possible, "N-nurse?"

Selphie seemed to have recovered and nodded brightly, "Hey Irvine, perfect timing. We need you to help clean Namine up."

Irvine rolled his eyes jokingly, "Oh dear, another one. I didn't notice."

Namine blushed without really knowing why. The heated flush rose from the contours of her neck and colored her cheeks automatically. Her face was just really embarrassing to look at in its bruising condition. Why did she always have to look her worst whenever an attractive guy approached her? It was like the cosmos, or whatever was out there wanted her to stay single forever.

Then again, she wasn't really looking for another half anyway. It didn't matter, she convinced herself.

Irvine told them to follow him to the health office as he walked past them. Namine trailed behind as Selphie trotted to Irvine's side to strike up some conversation. The two of them chatted animatedly, both of them as comfortable as a pair of old friends. Namine just couldn't bring herself to join in since she couldn't find any reason to.

Once inside the closure of the dull ward, Namine saw Irvine throw on the white medical coat and collapse into his chair by the desk. He hummed a tune and jotted some things down on a form, occasionally sneaking looks at her or Selphie. The whole time, Namine couldn't look away. She could only conclude that she was going nuts, or that Seifer's punch had slowed her brain somehow. The way Irvine kept inspecting her face made her feel embarrassed – so it had to be his fault. He was supposed to help her mentality, not inflict it!

"So Namine," Irvine said looking up momentarily to get some eye contact, "You're new, huh? Must be tough around here." He shot a quick glance at Selphie.

Namine agreed, just to show that her brain wasn't really turning into jelly, "It is. Happens every time, you know?" Well, it felt kind of hard to speak. And for some reason, she found that her words sounded odd even to her. She couldn't tell if she was having a concussion or suffering from a bleeding brain.

"Getting beat up?" Irvine asked with concern as he handed her a note.

Namine muttered a thank you as she accepted and looked over the writing. It was a pass and excuse for the office. Her eyes flicked up at him before looking away with a twinge of shyness under his intense gaze, "No, I meant being new."

She sensed his good-natured grin without having to see it, "I sympathize with you. But I think it'll blow over really fast here. We've got some very friendly people here who would be willing to take care of you." He smiled at a brightly colored Selphie, "Will you take Namine to the office after I patch her up, Selph?"

"Yup, no problem, Irvine!" Selphie chirped quickly.

Namine's breath caught in her throat as Irvine drew near and prodded the bone around her rapidly bruising cheek. He frowned when she winced visibly and told her seriously, "If you don't mind telling me now, I'd like to know what happened." He flicked on a penlight to study her eyes, checking for any signs of a serious concussion.

Namine gulped nervously and looked over at Selphie. The slighter girl gave her a nod, her green eyes never wavering. It seemed Selphie trusted Irvine enough, so it had to be okay. Didn't Selphie also say he was a counselor? That meant he had a confidentiality oath, she assured herself. "It was just some bully. I think Seifer was his name."

Irvine's brows clashed together as he bent forward in his chair. "Again?" he wondered out loud. Selphie nodded, "Yes, but he was picking on me. Namine just happened by and tried to help. She was amazing, having the courage to butt heads with a guy like him but…" the brunette cast defeated eyes on Namine, "I'm still really, really sorry, Nami."

Namine felt a little shocked at receiving nickname already, but she didn't mind, "Selphie, it's really okay. I know what it's like getting bullied your whole life."

It was Selphie's turn to be shocked. Her pink lips popped open a bit in surprise, "H-how did you know?"

"It's uh…" Namine mentally reminded herself to strangle her at home after school, "It's just experience! Lucky guess and all…"

Selphie and Irvine seemed to accept it after a moment of exchanging glances. Namine sighed inwardly and looked expectantly at Irvine. He gave her a questioning look before remembering what he was doing, "Right, I'll get you some salve and ice to take down the swelling. And take a painkiller too – it's Advil. Or do you have any ill side effects? I still need to dig up your medical form – I know I've seen it somewhere." He handed her a blue liquid gel pill from an Advil bottle in the medicine cabinet, "If the pain persists, come back here and I'll give you another one. If you feel sick at any time – dizziness or nausea – I'll help you deck out whatever else is wrong." He made quick work of her injury and handed Selphie her own pass. After giving Namine a final check, Irvine winked and shooed them out of his office.

"He's pretty friendly," Namine said once she and Selphie had a cleared the health ward.

Selphie smiled, "Yeah, he is, isn't he?" She turned to Namine, an energetic bounce in her step as she led them towards the front of the school, "And make sure you do go to him if you're still feeling sick, okay? I know how far Seifer goes when he gets violent. He and that gang of self-proclaimed punishers of the school can get downright dirty."

"What do you mean?" Namine asked her new friend.

"They think they can do whatever suits them around the town and the school. Mostly, they pick on little kids or other peers, but I've seen them pick on the elderly too. It's just their thing, picking on people who don't have a chance against them," Selphie shook her head sullenly. She halted before making them backtrack ten paces, "Oops, we almost missed it."

Namine followed Selphie's pointing finger at a large gothic looking bronze door braced between tall dark glass windows. She couldn't see how they'd almost miss it since it was so staggering – her brain really must have been flunking.

"If it's not the door then it's the windows that give it away. Just go inside, check in, and get your schedule. The staff's pretty lenient, but kind of forgetful so remember to pick up a map on the counter in case they don't give you one. The school's huge and pretty maze-like at first," Selphie looked like she was going to babble on, but managed to stop herself in time, "Anyway, I need to go. If we're in any classes together, I'll always be there beside you if you need me. Otherwise, you can find me wherever. See you around, Nami! Good luck!" Selphie waved before she skipped away down the lengthy, spacious hall and around the curving corner.

Namine kicked at the granite floor nervously. It took her a moment to realize that she couldn't dawdle all day. Quietly, she pushed open the doors just as the secretary saw her come in. The lady welcomed her warmly and helped her sort things out, putting Namine more at ease. Selphie was right on both accounts, so Namine had to slip a map from the polished alabaster counter on her way out.

Also, the school wasn't _like_ a maze. It was a freaking labyrinth.

Namine spent the next fifteen minutes wandering around, trying to make heads or tails with the map. Her roller blades kept slipping from her shoulder, so much that she had to keep stopping to distribute its weight properly. She wished she knew where her new locker was so she could drop them off. Trying to hurry and balance her things all at the same time, she thought that must have looked quite strange with her melting ice pack plastered to the side of her face and the map held awkwardly before her. She could almost see herself as the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

"Well, don't you seem lost," someone said suddenly.

"Oh!"

Namine staggered back, dropping her map in fright. She could have sworn that she didn't see or hear anybody in front of her, or in the entire hallway. She looked up into a pair of sky blue eyes as she fumbled blindly to pick up her map again. He looked familiar – styled but messy blonde hair, cool attitude – he had been the loner boy by the school wall. But instead of looking apathetic this time, he shot her a bewildered look, as if she had just grown three heads on the spot.

As Namine stood again, she looked him over quickly. He was definitely the same good-looking loner she saw on the school grounds earlier. His messy gilded hair was several shades darker than her own, reminding her just how lifeless she must have looked. And as lean and handsome as he was, the way he stared down at her with such a serious look in his sky blue eyes made her stomach twist anxiously. Everything about him radiated a chilly self-confidence, keeping her on her toes. But he was a little pale looking under his slight tan, just not as pale as she was. Maybe he was sick?

Seeing that he was still staring frozenly at her, Namine asked with some concern, "Are you all right? I just came back from the nurse – I can take you to him if you'd like. He's really kind."

The boy flinched violently, backing away when she touched his shoulder. Namine also snatched her hand back when he moved so suddenly. The boy stared suspiciously at her, "What are you? You're not supposed to know I'm here. You shouldn't even be able to _touch_ me."

Namine coughed awkwardly, "I beg your pardon. Why's that?" The boy was getting stranger by the second in her book. Maybe he was a mental case.

Besides, he didn't have to be that much a loner, right? She was only trying to be polite.

He stared at her for a long moment.

"I'm supposed to be dead."

………

………

………

………

A/N: _**Please drop me a comment or a review!**_ I would not like to receive flames though, thanks. After working hard on my stories, I would appreciate plenty of feedback. So as pleased as I am to know that people favorite my stories – **please don't just list my stuff and not leave me a comment.** I do get around to reading everyone's reviews (because I love hearing from you guys,) and I almost always reply back. So, please do me the favor, and thank you!

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_What is your zodiac sign? (Greek or Chinese, or even both)_

………

_**My Answer:**_

_I'm a Sagittarius Archer born in the year of a Black Horse._

………

………

………


	2. Photo Acquaintances

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 2: Photo Acquaintances

………

A/N: _The __**Question of the Chapter**__ at the bottom is optional, but it's my way of getting to know my readers. :)_

Some last names used are borrowed from my original/other stories: i.e. Araki, Risado, etc…

………

………

_Previous Chapter: _

_The boy flinched violently, backing away when she touched his shoulder. Namine also snatched her hand back when he moved so suddenly. The boy stared suspiciously at her, "What are you? You're not supposed to know I'm here. You shouldn't even be able to touch me." _

_Namine coughed awkwardly, "I beg your pardon. Why's that?" The boy was getting stranger by the second in her book. Maybe he was a mental case. _

_Besides, he didn't have to be that much a loner, right? She was only trying to be polite. _

_He stared at her for a long moment. _

_"I'm supposed to be dead."_

………

……… 

Namine's mouth formed a little "o" as she quickly averted her eyes, "Oops." But she narrowed her eyes, "You're not joshing me, right?"

The blonde-haired boy glared coldly at her, "No."

Suddenly, Namine growled under her breath and held her free hand to her forehead, "Today's really not turning out to be so great."

"I suppose not for you," she saw him eye the icepack, "Have fun finding your way around."

If Namine's murderous scowl could kill, he'd have already died a hundred times over even if he was already a ghost.

"No help from you, I guess," Namine's voice snapped scathingly. The boy shrugged picking at the missing top button on his white uniform shirt, completely losing interest in her. If Namine weren't so enraged at his chilly attitude, she would have thought that the difference between her fiery reaction and his glacial act was almost laughable. He didn't even look back at her as he turned towards the closest wall and disappeared through it.

Once she regained her bearings without her heart pounding a hundred miles per hour in her chest, she rounded the corner and walked stiffly through the massive halls. It wasn't after several wrong turns and a few muttered curses that she realized she had never asked who he was.

Plus, was she going senile at the young age of sixteen? If she had been anywhere near sensible today, she'd have given him an earful. But no… she had to get herself caught up in a fight that wasn't hers to begin with – and get insulted by a ghost. _A blasted ghost!_ Stupid ghost.

She scoffed as she continued to wander aimlessly down the hall. Namine was so annoyed with herself that she didn't notice the sound of a pair of pounding feet. She barely had time to react before someone zoomed around the corner and bowled her down, right onto the granite floor. While she lay still on the ground with her eyes closed, her head spun painfully as she wondered if this was actually happening to her.

The rapid breathing of a boy came from nearby as she heard him approach carefully. She could almost imagine him fidgeting nervously.

"Oh. My. God," The voice hyperventilated, "I just KILLED SOMEONE!"

Namine opened her eyes wearily before becoming fully aware of the mortified face above her, "Hey… Weren't you that ghost kid from earlier?"

Amazingly, he sure looked exactly like him. His face and body stance both screamed replica, but… the clothes had changed. He was still wearing the required school uniform for boys: a pair of dark slacks and a white dress shirt with a navy tie. Only this time, his shirt was askew and his tie blown over one shoulder, unlike the earlier encounter where everything was in place, except for the missing button. Namine blinked again staring directly up at him. Plus, his hair was several more shades darker and longer. It looked very brown and very spiky – almost like a porcupine.

"My head looks like a porcupine?" The unknown boy gave her a cheeky grin, "Really?"

Namine blinked again. Nope, he couldn't be the BHGK (blonde-haired ghost kid.) This guy was way more tolerant to her bluntness. She groaned putting a hand to her face and wincing, "Sorry about that. I'm just having a tough day, and it hasn't stopped getting weirder."

"Say no more – I understand," the boy smiled kindly at her, "The name's Sora." He bent down and held his hand out to her.

"Namine," Namine took his hand in hers and shook it. She let go but he didn't and just kept holding her wrist. After she took a moment to look strangely up at him, Namine asked, "What is it?"

He chuckled nervously, hoping she hadn't hit her head too hard, "Do you want me to help you up?"

"Just to sit please," Namine gave him an appreciative smile as she righted herself with his help. Wow, at least he was really a gentleman.

Sora let her hand go after he made sure she wouldn't topple over again. He moved away before coming back with her ice pack and map, both of which had sprawled away from her during the unexpected collision.

"Thank you," Namine said as she held the ice to her cheek, glad the pain was going away again.

"No problem," Sora shook his head with a grin, "But what's the ice for?" he added curiously.

Namine waved it away without a specific explanation. She didn't want to talk about it if she could help it, "Nothing really. Something just came up this morning." Besides, there was no reason why she should let everyone know. Aside from Selphie and herself, Namine believed that letting Irvine know had been enough. She wasn't looking for any drama and tears.

"Huh…" Sora sighed with a clueless sort of look. Namine had to suppress a sudden giggle. Not only was Sora a nice guy, he was also pretty cute. Not just cute, as in a handsome guy in his own right – which he was – but it was just that he also possessed the air of child. Simply put, he was sweet and mature too.

Was there anything such as drop-dead-cute? As Sora continued to grin goofily at her, Namine thought she could almost imagine the ghost boy's smile too. She wished he had been as nice as Sora. Maybe then, Namine wouldn't have been so hopeless. She shoved him out of her thoughts, focusing on Sora again.

"Sora?" Namine started, suddenly remembering he surroundings again, "Do you think you can help me get to class?"

Sora stood up quickly, "Right! Class!" He took her schedule into his hands. "Hey, you have the same thing I do. History's a bore, but it'll give you time to catch up some sleep if you're missing any," he winked, "I'll take you there, Namine."

He held her elbow securely as she wobbly stood up (a generous act which Namine had to take her hat off to him.) She followed him as he started off and noticed how he was careful to slow down to her shorter pace. They walked with a companionable silence down another sunlit hall before stopping before a door with misted glass on the front. A blurry shadow of a man was visible through the glass as he moving side to side while chalk clacked faintly against the blackboard. A monotone droned on and on from within, but the door muffled his words.

Namine's heart pounded rapidly as she watched Sora take a deep breath and open the door.

The sudden silence was deafening to her ears as she followed closely behind Sora. She struggled to compose herself and ignore the many scrutinizing stares her new classmates were giving them. Apparently, since history class was as boring as Sora said it would be, any sort of interruption would be treated with rapt attention. People coming into the classroom happened to be the center of attention for two seconds. However, a new face could hold the attention of a whole class for an hour or so, Namine thought, noticing how everyone was pinning his or her curious stares on her. Some even had the gall to gawk, point, and whisper. It made her feel rather irritated.

But some part of Namine found her situation ironic. The first thing she learned the instant she stepped into the classroom was how a goldfish would feel inside a glass tank at the dentist's office.

"Sora Risado… So nice of you to join us. What's your excuse this time?" the nasally voice of the balding teacher drawled towards them. Sadly, it was the horribly cliché voice that Namine had already suspected.

Sora chuckled, "Sorry about that Mr. P. I had to stop by somewhere and ended up running late again, and uh… I…"

"He ran into me in the hallways," Namine cut in smoothly to save him from Mr. P's annoyed, beady gaze, "I was trying to find my way here."

Mr. P nodded and told Sora to get seated before turning back to Namine, "You're the new student I suppose. Please introduce yourself the class. Quickly now."

Namine turned towards her classmates and bowed slightly with an unaffected smile, "My name is Namine Araki. I'm new, but I hope to get to know everyone this year. It's a pleasure to meet you all."

The students seemed to stare at her oddly for a moment or two, presumably due to her roughed up appearance. But it wasn't long before someone began to clap, inciting the rest of the class to join in. They welcomed her to an empty seat beside a brunette girl, which Mr. P pointed out. Namine sat down quietly and class resumed though occasionally someone would try to ask her a question behind the teacher's back.

The girl next to her tapped her on the shoulder, "Namine, right?"

Namine looked at the girl sitting beside her. She seemed really friendly; her green eyes were as kind as her smile promised. Somehow, she looked very familiar. A lithe hand swept a lock of wavy brown hair behind her ear, "My name is Olette. Welcome to Twilight Town." Namine shook her offered hand, "Hi."

Olette's grin was contagious, "How're you doing, Namine? Did you hurt yourself?"

"Oh!" Namine almost forgot about her icepack, "It's nothing."

Olette didn't look convinced and whispered to her after making sure Mr. P still had his back turned to the class, lecturing something about the legendary Keyblade War, "Does this have anything to do with someone from Seifer's gang?"

Namine was shocked, "You know him?" The question sounded stupid to her, but Olette didn't seem to notice, "Yeah. Seifer and his friends are some of the few rotten eggs you'll meet around here. They're the only ones that would lay a fist on anyone who gets in their way, especially a girl."

"Why girls?" Namine asked quietly, squeezing the melting icepack.

Olette sighed, "He picks on my twin sister, Selphie," she smiled sadly, "I know I'm the older sister, but I'm not a martial arts fighter like her. Instead of me protecting her, Selphie protects me. Anyway, Seifer's has always found a reason to fight with her since our middle school days. He's notorious for picking a target, and winning."

Namine let it sink in, "You're Selphie's sister?"

Olette nodded, "Yup. You know her?"

"Well, you see…" Namine stopped abruptly when the bell shrilled, signaling the end of class, "Um…" Namine's voice died amid the scraping chairs and pattering feet.

"You can tell me later if you want. But right now, I can help you get to your next class," she turned to Sora who sat a few rows away, "Hey Sora, come over here!"

Sora finished stuffing his books into his book bag and took a few strides over, his spunky steps making him look rather childish, "How do, gals? Olette? Namine?"

Olette laughed, "Just great, Mr. Irvine wannabe. Namine, you've met Sora and Selphie before, so I guess we're going to have to introduce you to the whole gang," she took Namine's schedule and scanned it before suddenly cheering, "Awesome! You've got us with you in study hall… Also, if I remember right, Pence, Wakka, and Tidus will be there too. Sora, didn't Kairi say she had second period study hall too?"

Namine noticed Sora's slight flush at the mention of the girl named Kairi. She grinned inwardly when Olette gave Sora a mischievous look.

"Well?" Olette pressured jokingly.

Sora mumbled, "Riku's going to be there too…"

"I'm sure he is. That's great! It seems like most of us will be there," Olette smiled as she walked around the empty desks towards the door, "Come on guys! Lets go. The bell's not going to wait for us."

Namine walked alongside them and occasionally Olette or Sora would steer her in the right direction. How was she ever supposed to get used to a school this confusing, Namine thought despairingly. But soon enough, they walked through the winding halls and found the correct room, labeled Study Hall 2-11. The numbers made little sense until she realized that 2-11 stood for second period, grade eleven.

How Sora, Olette, or any other student for that matter, found their way around the school was a complete mystery to her. As Namine entered the noisy classroom with her new friends, she promptly decided that the genius who labeled all the rooms in the school should go to hell if he wasn't there already.

The room seemed to burst at the seams with people, everyone either chitchatting amongst themselves or actually doing their work. Apparently the teacher appeared pretty laid back with his chair tipped backwards, his shiny shoes propped on the staff desk. He didn't seem to be aware that he was tipping precariously backwards in a rolling chair – he didn't even take the time to notice that he had a class and that he should be taking role call.

Fortunately for Namine, Sora and Olette, they slipped in without any attention paid to them as Olette dragged them in further when she spotted Wakka. Unfortunately for Namine, she couldn't tell who Wakka was yet. However, it wasn't so bad when Sora gently took her hand to guide her towards a group of boys crowding around a small bunch of desks.

Once again, Namine felt that embarrassing flush running from her neck to hairline and coloring her face a bright pink. What was going on with her?

Actually, she kind of knew what was wrong, but why would she admit something like that?

There was no way she was falling for so many guys here right on the first day. She didn't even believe that she'd ever fallen for any guy before! Why now in Twilight Town?

Hey… that rhymed.

"Namine," someone passed his fingers in front of her blank face, "Hellooo…"

Namine blinked and looked up at Sora. He grinned at her and said jokingly, "What's got the wheel in your head turning?"

The blonde turned ever more scarlet, "N-nothing!"

Olette punched Sora on the arm, "Stop teasing her! You're traumatizing our poor Namine!"

Namine took the chance to look at her companions. The three new boys were all quite extraordinary compared to the people she'd seen back home. There was a tall, hefty boy whose head boasted bright orange hair. He had that sporty, brotherly glint in his russet eyes that reminded her of Hayner in some ways. Beside him stood another shorter, but jockey fellow with flaxen sunkist locks. He was also pretty tan and had clear ocean eyes, kind of like her own, and he also had a joshing grin like Sora's. Namine didn't know his name yet, but she felt a bit flustered when he leaned against the desk towards and gave her a friendly wink. It felt kind of weird being hit on for first time.

Olette spoke again, "Well now, I suppose we should introduce you to these guys. This is Pence," a short plump boy waved his hand at Namine and had a nice look about his face. He seemed kind enough and Namine felt slightly bad for not noticing him right off the bat, "And these two weirdoes are Wakka and Tidus," Olette pointed to them respectively as she said their names.

Sora looked around, "Hey, where's Kairi?" he added after a moment, a bit pink around the ears, "She hasn't met Namine yet." Wakka slapped Sora on the back a few time, making him choke on his breath.

The Jamaican boy laughed, "Knew you were going to ask something like that, little brudda! She's not here yet, but wait a little, ya?"

Sora looked embarrassed, pouting in annoyance, "Shut up, Wakka."

Tidus looked towards the door suddenly, before pointing an enthusiastic finger at it, "Look, there she is!"

Everyone all snickered as Sora jumped and whipped his head around, "Huh? Where?!"

Namine felt a little bit out of the loop as the group showered each other with laughs and inside-jokes. She watched as Sora crossed his arms, catching on, "Hey you guys, that's just dirty. You're all making me into a fool of myself, and if Kairi gets here–"

"And see you make a fool of yourself… what would I think? Now why would that matter, Sora?" Came a soft cheery voice from behind Namine, "It doesn't change how I see you already."

Namine turned around and came face to face with a girl who looked surprisingly like herself, only with long crimson hair and violet eyes. She also wore a little bit of makeup, making her look prettier and more mature too, Namine noted.

"Oh, hello!" the redhead addressed Namine, "I'm Kairi. I haven't seen you around before…"

Namine shook hands with her, smiling timidly at the stunning girl, "Hi."

Pence nodded at Kairi, "Namine just moved here, Kairi."

"Namine?" Kairi asked, "Wow, what a pretty name."

"Thank you," Namine blushed shyly. Kairi also seemed like a pleasant person.

Kairi was deep in thought as she spoke again, "I swear I've heard your name already…" Suddenly, a shine of recognition flashed in her eyes, "That right! Selphie was telling me about you!"

"I was kind of wondering how Namine's already met Selphie," Sora added, once he recovered from shock.

Kairi gave Namine a hug, surprisingly everyone, "That was really kind of you – standing up against Seifer for Selphie. Not many people would be brave enough to do that," She lowered her voice, "Seifer's a dangerous guy to mess with though. Once he's had it, he'll let you know it – so be careful, okay?"

"What's this about Seifer?" a new voice asked.

"Hey Riku," Tidus greeted, "You're kind of late."

"Not that it matters. The teacher's having too much fun reading playboy," the newcomer dismissed, shrugging his broad shoulders as he made his way past the bunched up desks.

"And jacking off," Tidus coughed. All of them just rolled their eyes at him.

Riku, Namine presumed, brushed his long silver bangs away from his stunning, aquamarine eyes. The way he stood up tall and confident with that knowing smirk on his face made him appear the most mature out of all of them. However, his nonchalant presence made Namine feel very subconscious once again. Riku hadn't seemed to take note of her yet, so Namine merely lowered her head slightly and prayed he wouldn't notice her. He just seemed very intimidating. Who knew if he was going to be like Seifer?

Riku repeated more seriously, "What this about Seifer now?"

Olette and Kairi glanced at each other while the guys looked on curiously at the two, occasionally giving Namine questionable gazes as well. Just then, Riku finally noticed the blonde-haired girl with them, "You're the new girl, right? You must be Hayner Araki's little sister." He eyed her icepack suspiciously for a moment, reaching out a hand to her face. He was barely able to touch her skin when Namine stepped back abruptly, abashed at his forwardness.

"Looks like a really nasty thing to do to a girl. Seifer hasn't changed at all, has he?" Riku simply observed before taking his hand away.

Namine stared strangely at him, swallowing discreetly. Well, he sure looked concerned. The silver-haired teen seemed honest at least. She asked him suddenly, "How do you know my brother?"

"I have first period English with him. We also met on the turf earlier," Riku told her, "He mentioned that he had a sister. Right now though, he's in Stats class with Yuna, Rikku, and Paine."

Tidus winced, "Ouch, sucks for him. Those girls are mighty scary."

Wakka clubbed Tidus' head, "They're not bad, brudda. You just tease 'em too much, ya? Besides, Paine is Lulu's sis."

Tidus scoffed, "As if that would excuse them," Tidus mimicked Wakka, "Besides! Paine is Lulu's sis. Lulu's the oh-so mysterious beauty who haunts my dreams and makes me wet my bed–!" As Wakka tackled Tidus to the ground, Namine found it odd that everyone just ignored them.

Kairi interjected, "You see…" She looked at Namine, "Namine?"

Namine continued to press the ice harder against her half-numb face, "Yes?"

Olette looked at her too, "Can you tell us everything that happened this morning?"

Namine felt the blood drain in her face, dreading to tell so many people about the unfortunate event. It wasn't any of their business, right? She answered as plainly as possible, shrugging to emphasize her point, "Seifer hit me. Selphie was there too, so she took me to see Irvine."

Tidus stood up abruptly, his eyes narrowing, "Irvine, you say?"

Namine nodded, "Yeah, he's the guy who patched me up."

She watched as Tidus crossed his arms in front of him, "That over-aged flirt."

Sora gave Tidus a dead panned look, "You're a flirt yourself, Ti."

"Yeah, well, at least I'm not _old_."

Kairi placated, "Irvine's only twenty-three. He's only older than you by six years."

Tidus snapped, completely missing the point, "See? That over-aged flirt even has Kairi in his noose. Next thing you know, he'll be rounding up all the girls like cattle, screaming 'ye haw!' and ditching the school for a flipping sunset!"

Pence gave Tidus a strange look and told him honestly, "Tidus, I think you're overreacting a bit."

"Overreacting?" Tidus scoffed crudely, "I don't overreact. I'm just explaining why I think that loser is an over-aged flirt chasing after Selphie's skirt. He just pisses me off."

Olette whispered to Namine, "Tidus has a love complex for Selphie. Don't worry about his reaction to Irvine. It's quite normal."

Namine nodded, but before she could get wrapped up in her thoughts for a conversation, she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder. As she turned her face to the side, Riku's serious gaze caught her, "Seifer's an ass. Try to stay away from him if you can," he lowered his head to look her straight in the eyes, his eyes softening, "He's been at odds with our lot here for the longest time, but don't be afraid to befriend us. We always protect our own – and you've already proven you're a friend by protecting Selphie."

Namine could only nod torpidly. It was hard swallowing the thickness of his words under his scrutiny, but she knew he meant what he said. Besides, Riku didn't appear like someone who'd go back on his word. Either way, Namine trusted his judgment as she had already met Seifer first hand. She could only be glad that her day was not entirely falling apart.

For the rest of the period, Namine chatted easily with them, gradually feeling that she could fit in if given the time to. Riku wasn't as bad-boy as she had originally thought him as, and got along quite well with him and everyone else, considering it was only her first day in a new school. He did joke and show real smiles time to time, much to her surprise. After a while, she had to admit that she felt every bit as comfortable talking to him as she did around Olette and Sora.

Sora, she noticed as everyone packed up when the bell rang, kept glancing over at Kairi. The whole period, he had been the center of her attention and appeared very close to her. Namine couldn't help but feel a little jealous of the redhead, for she wished someone like Sora would care about her too.

On the other hand, Olette and Kairi were really nice to her and accepted her as part of their group. Namine had third and fourth period with them, along with the jolly Pence. He didn't say much, but when he did, he was very polite. The only things that Namine could find a little vexatious were his childish, clingy personality and tendency to ask a lot of questions. But she had to agree that once he got started on the photo collection he had, his stories about the pictures made her realize that he wasn't bad company.

And he really wasn't a bad photographer either. Most of his collection covered his friends and their happy moments. A few were just snapshots of the crew eating sea salt ice cream while Selphie chased Tidus around in the background. Others depicted only a few people per frame having a good time. One was of Olette attempting to teach Kairi how to cook while smoke rose hazardously from the stove pot, and another was Riku, Wakka, and Kairi burying Sora in the sand at the beach. Pence himself rarely showed up in the photos, but he seemed happy just keeping mementos of his friends.

Later, during the beginning of lunch, he pulled out an older album. Namine, Kairi and Olette crowded around to see it, as nobody else had arrived yet.

"I took this at the Struggle Tournament from two years ago. Man! I couldn't believe we won against Seifer and his whole gang that time," Pence told Namine.

"These are really good," Namine smiled at him, making him blush. She hardly noticed as she continued to sift through the pictures.

Kairi spoke quietly, "If it weren't for the guys and Selphie, we really wouldn't have stood a chance. But…"

Olette opened her mouth to say something, when Namine suddenly looked up and accidentally interrupted her, "Do you know this boy?"

Namine had been looking through the album when she noticed Sora giving a blonde-haired boy the noogie. Both seemed to be enjoying themselves, despite Sora sticking his tongue out at the camera, and the other boy looking as annoyed as Sora was silly.

That was when she realized the uncanny similarities between Sora and the blonde-haired guy. The same eyes, the same face, the same build – well, almost.

None of that changed the fact that she was seeing Sora's doppelganger – the BHGK. It was completely unmistakable no matter how she looked at it. Maybe he did look younger in the photo than what she saw in the photo, but then again, the photo was taken two years back. Even Sora had changed quite a bit since then.

Everyone was silent as they gazed silently at the picture. Pence reached out the take the photo back, but Namine stopped him. "Wait," she said, studying the details and memorizing everything there, "I know I saw him in the school earlier. He said…"

"Namine," Olette began, gently cutting her off, "He was in an accident. Maybe you mistook someone else as him?"

"I don't think so," Namine said firmly, under her breath, "Besides, he was fairly rude."

Pence, Kairi, and Olette looked nervously at each other. Nobody said a word as Sora, Tidus, and Wakka approached them. "What's up?" Sora asked as he sat down across from Olette and Kairi.

Kairi managed a smile, "We were looking at some old pictures that Pence took."

"Really?" Tidus asked as he snatched up some random photos from the table, "Oh yeah! I remember these. Remember how I kicked your butt, Wakka?"

Wakka rolled his russet eyes and reminded him, "Remember how Selphie totally creamed yours, ya?" Tidus spluttered for an answer, but just then, Riku came over with Hayner at his side.

"Hey guys, I'd like you to meet Namine's brother," Riku said, introducing Hayner.

"The name's Hayner Araki. By the way, nice to meet you guys," Hayner gave them his infamous grin. His grin melted when he spotted Olette looking at him curiously before bending intently towards her, reaching a hand behind her ear faster than she could respond. Everyone watched in awe, as he seemed to pull out a quarter from within her long brown hair. Hayner's smile returned quickly, as his expression became triumphant, "Oh cool. I found some loose change. Mind if I keep it?"

"Now I feel like a vending machine," Olette laughed before moving over, "Hey, you two. Come on, squish in." She waited for Riku and Hayner to take their seats. As Hayner was sitting down, he noticed Namine sitting between Pence and Sora.

"Hey Namine, hope you're adjusting okay," he eyed the ice pack she was holding, "Something wrong? You seem kind of sad."

Namine shook her head, "No, I'm okay."

Hayner didn't buy her measly assurance for a minute, but let it go anyway. She knew that he never liked to ruin the atmosphere among friends. And frankly, she was really quite glad that he didn't bring it up again. She didn't feel particularly appetent to talk about it. However, the slight, narrowed look her brother gave her warned her that he would ask again once they got home.

Pence managed to snatch the photo back from Namine without anyone noticing him. He muttered an apology, and truly did look like he meant it. Namine stared at her empty hands, but she didn't blame him. He must have had a good reason to take it back when he was so eager to show them the collection in the first place. There was definitely something that they were hiding from her though. For now, she tried to forget about the secret her new friends tried to hide and the haunting blue eyes of the boy in the photo.

Still…

Who was he? What was his name?

And more importantly–

_Why isn't he here?_

………

………

………

………

A/N: So, who _is_ our beloved BH(G)K anyway? Why is he a ghost? Why won't anybody tell Namine what really happened? Things are never what they seem to be – and it's all up to Namine to find out the truth. She's got her work cut out for her, if you ask me.

**Thank you to those who gave this story its first reviews!** I feel bad when people just add me to their alert lists, and never leave me any feedback. It annoys me a lot, and sometimes I wonder why I even bother sharing my work. But it's the people who actually review who keep me going. So please keep doing so!

My personal thanks to Chapter 1 reviewers: timekeeper1824, The Lulu Essence, snowyleopard, Iridaceae, X-The Random Vampire-X, Nethernity, Isabella Swan, Hoshizora no Hikari, MiracleXofXlight, Less-than3, Jose, Invisible, estrellaz, NamineLovesRoxasTooMuch, and Roxas fan 3513.

_**Also! The Question of the Chapter**** below is optional, but it's my way of getting to know my readers. :)**_

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_What is your favorite genre(s) for music?_

………

_**My Answer:**_

_I've always been more of a 'pop/rock with a touch of techno' person. Mostly, I listen to international music, but I do get the occasional American favorites like All American Rejects, Linkin Park, The Fray, DC Talk, Nine Days, Oleander, Evanescence, Mae, The Smashing Pumpkins, etc. International favorites include KAT-TUN, Arashi, Orange Range, UVERworld, T.M. Revolution, FLAME, W-INDS, LEAD, Rain, Shinhwa, Show, Nan Quan Ma Ma, S.H.E., F.I.R., Fahrenheit, and Mistula… Yeah, it just keeps going – and those don't even include OST songs from movies, RPG games, and anime._

_Let me know what you listen to! If you'd like, you can even suggest some artists to me. I'm always looking forward to listening to new things. :3_

………

………

………


	3. To Fear a Fall

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 3: To Fear a Fall

………

A/N: Thank you for reviewing guys. It's much better than last time (reading and then reviewing part.) I really do appreciate you guys taking the time to write a comment about the story. Please enjoy this third chapter now – and remember the **Question of the Chapter **at the bottom of the page. I'll be waiting to hear from you guys. :)

………

………

_Previous Chapter:_

_Pence managed to snatch the photo back from Namine without anyone noticing him. He muttered an apology, and truly did look like he meant it. Namine stared at her empty hands, but she didn't blame him. He must have had a good reason to take it back when he was so eager to show them the collection in the first place. There was definitely something that they were hiding from her though. For now, she tried to forget about the secret her new friends tried to hide and the haunting blue eyes of the boy in the photo._

_Still…_

_Who was he? What was his name?_

_And more importantly–_

_Why isn't he here?_

………

………

The first day of school ended without any particular event in question. But sometimes during the day, Namine felt like she was being watched. She constantly had to turn around to look behind her, wondering if her nerves were telling her the wrong information. It shouldn't have been too unusual, for she was a new face in the crowd, but she knew that a certain blonde-haired boy was hanging around somewhere in the school. He had shown no signs of wanting to get to know her, so maybe she was just paranoid. She knew he wouldn't follow her around like some lost puppy. He didn't seem like that kind of person.

Just by judging first impressions, she knew that he was the kind of person who, if you wanted to strike up a form of conversation with, you would have to be the one to go to him first.

Namine slammed her locker a bit harder than she should have, startling several students around her and earning some pointed looks from them. She blushed in embarrassment and half-ran out to the massive green lawn outside, her black book bag swinging against her back. For some reason, she couldn't shake his image from her head – she couldn't let that image of him go. She couldn't let the very thought of him go.

The instant she clicked the straps of her roller blades on, Namine shot past the school gate and raced her way home, not wanting to dawdle at Twilight High any longer.

Once safe inside her modest home on Evening Flower lane, Namine threw her skates into the coat closet and shrugged off her backpack. Just as she was pulling out her sketchbook, the front slammed open again as an out of breath Hayner trudged his way inside, only to stop when he saw her sitting idly by the counter.

Dashing to her side, he accused her, "I thought we were going home together, Namine! I was so worried when you didn't show up at the gates!"

"Sorry," Namine said, truly feeling guilty. But how could she explain how she felt about going to that school to him? It was so obvious her brother loved the place.

Hayner simply ran a hand through his curly, dusty blonde tresses. He sighed, cooling down surprisingly fast, "Whatever. Just give me a heads up next time. With that Seifer-bastard hanging around, I don't want you going off alone."

"Yes, father," Namine, grinned. She patted the high stool beside her, "Come on, I wanted to hear about your day at school."

Hayner also let his army print book bag slump to the ground in a dull thud. He ended up walking around the kitchen first to prepare a snack as Namine flipped open her sketchbook. She sifted through the pages until she reached the page that she had used in art class that day. While the teacher had lectured the class about the color wheel, Namine only listened with half an ear as she doodled. Her doodle ended up transforming into a detailed sketch that copied the photo of Sora and the unknown boy. She thought back to the conversation at lunch earlier that day.

What was with everyone? Why did Olette talk about the mysterious boy like she was remembering something unbearable? Why was Pence so nervous when Sora and the others showed up? And why did the normally outgoing Kairi turn into a withdrawn shell, managing only the weakest of smiles? Something was wrong, and Namine couldn't pretend that it wasn't important. Whether or not she liked that rude, cold idiot, Namine felt a strange attachment to him. If she helped him, maybe she could help her new friends too.

A glass of milk and plate of oreos crashed right by her elbow, making her start and snatch away her old sketchbook. The chair beside her squeaked on the linoleum floor as it was pulled back. Hayner sat down on it and pushed the plate of black and white cookies towards her at the same time, "Oreos. The spill."

Namine lifted her eyebrows satirically, "You want me to spill the milk?"

Hayner sighed as he put a hand to his neck and leaned back, "No, I wanted you to tell me what happened today. You didn't seem normal today at lunch," he added flicking her forehead with his other hand, "And you still need to fill me out about that bruise. Mom's going to freak when she sees it." Hayner raised his voice a few octaves, "Oh my dear Namine! What ever could have happened to you this morning?! Did you fall into a dumpster on your way to school and get _punched by a cat?_"

Namine pushed his shoulder playfully, "Mom doesn't sound like that, dummy. And would you like me to tell her how much you adore those Barney boxers she gave you?"

Hayner grimaced, "You win." Suddenly, he was serious again, "No more beating around the bush though. Something, or some _things_ were bothering you. I could tell. You can't fool your own twin." He picked up an oreo from the plate and held it to her pursed lips, "Eat first. Come on, open up already."

Namine glowered at him for treating her like a child. She took the cookie from him and dunked it into the milk. After waving it in his face, she bit into the soft, sweet treat.

Now that they were alone, she ended up recounting the day's events with him anyway. She explained how she interfered between Seifer and Selphie due to the visions that plagued her. At first, she wasn't sure how to tell him the situation so that her hotheaded twin wouldn't explode. But he seemed to take in the information rather coolly – which was not a normal reaction for him.

Narrowing her eyes a bit, she added after telling him the whole story, "I'm surprised you haven't jumped up and run out the door already."

Hayner laughed good-naturedly as he took another oreo and ate it. He stood up to get orange juice and came to sit down again, "Well, Riku sort of filled me in on most of the details earlier."

"Uh huh," Namine drawled in a slow and suspicious voice, "You can't fool your own twin."

Hayner looked a bit sheepish after having his earlier words thrown back at him, "Well, I kind of took care of that what's-his-face too."

"Took care of him how?" Namine asked with baited breath.

Hayner shrugged, not at all sorry as he idly swung his legs above the floor, "He's probably still choking up toilet water at school."

Namine dropped the oreo she was holding precariously above the milk. The creamy, white liquid bubbled a moment before sloshing violently as Namine slammed her hand down on the counter, standing up abruptly. She growled dangerously, "_You shoved him into a toilet?_"

Hayner scoffed, "It's not _that_ bad - you make me sound like I'm the villain here. I don't give a damn if they think they're the town's stupid disciplinary committee. For Destiny's sake, he walloped a purple mark into your face! The least toilet water's going to do is make him smell for a few days." He scrunched up his nose to make his point.

Namine fell back and slumped in her chair, one hand to her uninjured forehead and the other holding her sketchbook against her uneasy stomach. Great… Not only will Seifer never forget her – he'll remember her for her punky, toilet-dunker brother.

Just great.

She felt her sketchbook slip out from under her arms, but she was too late to grab it back as Hayner pulled it onto his lap and studied the drawing she had flipped to before their little talk. He bit his oreo and held her book up closer to his face as if he had suddenly turned nearsighted.

"If you wanted to see it, you could have asked, Hayner," Namine grumbled at him.

Her brother ignored her and just continued to stare. Namine thought it was kind of spooky, the way he analyzed the drawing. He never analyzed anything. "What are you looking so intently at?" she finally asked him.

He held her sketchbook up and pointed at the picture, "Is there a reason why you drew these guys so hot?"

Namine flushed and snatched her sketchbook from him, "Of course not! And you're and idiot for asking."

Hayner laughed at her, "Oh come on, Namine! I'm just kidding around with you. By the way, I noticed that the guy on the left is Sora. So who's the other kid?"

"I don't know," Namine told him honestly, "Pence was showing off some of his old photos. This was just one of them…"

"Whoa, wait a second. You mean Sora and everyone know him?"

Namine shrugged, "They _knew_ him, apparently."

Hayner scratched his head, "I wonder why he's not around then. Do you think he moved before we came here?"

"I doubt it," Namine answered flatly.

Her twin narrowed his eyes at her, "Okay, now you've lost me. I assure you that I have no idea what you're hiding this time."

Namine laughed humorlessly, a bitter edge shadowing her words, "I'll bet you don't."

Hayner just frowned pensively, "Well?"

"He's a become a ghost running around in the school now. I saw him on the school turf this morning. And, I had a rather unpleasant meeting with him in the hall on the way to class."

Namine could tell Hayner anything on her mind. For one, they were twins who knew when the other like the back of their hand – so lying was a pathetic option. Also, Hayner was used to her special abilities. While no one else believed her, he was the only one who did. Now, she could tell he was thinking hard about what she just told him. Trust him to always think of something.

Hayner put his chin in his palm as Namine watched him in silence. After a moment, Hayner sat up taking another oreo, "I wonder how he died."

Namine looked away, "Maybe it's best that we don't find out."

"Why not?" Hayner asked quickly, giving her a suspicious stare.

"Maybe," Namine began cautiously, "Maybe he's just as confused as we are."

Hayner continued to stare at her.

Once his suspicious ogling turned unbearably piercing, Namine was forced to defend herself, "Think about it, Hayner! He said he's dead. And I don't think he's that friendly of a guy either. I don't really want to 'help' him. And he probably has a good reason why he's haunting the school, okay?"

"I guess…" Hayner said, "Do you know his name?"

Namine shook her head, "No. He didn't mention it, and the others wouldn't tell me."

"A reason you say," Hayner cracked a wicked grin, "Well, why don't we figure it out? Then we can help him pass on, or do whatever you mediums do. I don't know, it sounds kind of fun."

Namine rolled her eyes impatiently at him, "Didn't you hear anything I just said?"

"Did you honestly think I'd listen?"

Namine gave him a stern look without having to convey her answer.

"That's what I thought," he kicked back against the counter, smiling smugly at her deadpanned expression.

"Um… Hayner," Namine started quietly, pointing at him, "I wouldn't do that if I were you…"

"Huh? Whoa!"

Slip.

Crash.

BONK!

"Ow, _damn it_!"

Namine laughed as she bent down to help him up, her worries temporarily forgotten.

………

The next few weeks went by rather peacefully and uneventfully. Namine began to get used to a routine of waking up and meeting her friends at school. She aced her Language Arts classes and struggled miserably with her Pre-calculus course. Everything seemed normal enough. But no matter how normal things got, Namine would think of the BHGK often enough to keep her looking over her shoulders now and then. Try as she might, she couldn't shake him from her thoughts.

Hayner's words kept playing in the back of her mind. Maybe it would be better if she did try to help the ghost, if only to get rid of the guilt plaguing her mind. Essentially, she wasn't a bad person to begin with and couldn't help but lend a hand, even if she didn't really want to.

Olette, Kairi, and Selphie often found themselves talking to a half-listening shell of a girl when they spoke to Namine. It never ceased to bug Selphie that Namine wasn't too interested in what went on at the nurse's ward. Even Olette and Kairi refrained from speaking to Namine from time to time when the blonde was too busy spacing in one her quiet moods. The problem progressed to the point that even Sora would ask her if anything was wrong.

Still Namine kept everything to herself. Nobody would believe her anyway.

Hayner on the other hand, knew how to look casual and still sniff around for clues. As the days passed, he seemed to lose hope in finding the BHGK's identity altogether. Unfortunately, the local library didn't hold any fishy articles to look through regarding the mysterious boy. Even the Internet was no help without the name of the ghost or his C.O.D. (cause of death.) There was simply nothing about the ghost of Twilight High.

One day during lunch though, Hayner decided to bring something up that Namine hadn't expected him to.

"Hey guys. Did you see Namine's sketchbook? Apparently, she's got the hots for these two guys."

Namine almost choked on her tuna sandwich. She swallowed hazardously before mouthing at him to shut up.

Hayner just winked at her, "Right, Namine?"

Damn him for being so stupid! Namine paled with anger and embarrassment. Her hands shook slightly as she snapped with false cheer, "Nope, you're absolutely delusional, Hayner."

"Oh! Really, Namine?" Olette poked her stomach, causing Namine to go red as she sat up stiffly.

"Uh… no?" Namine tried at another attempt to make them forget. She was going to give Hayner such a terrible ringing once they got home, that she'd be sure their ancestors would hear it. This was not the tactic that she had thought he would come up with, just to bring up the BHGK. She had assumed that he was smarter than that.

Everyone else seemed to ignore her, still wondering about Namine's nonexistent love life. Namine felt like melting into the floor, and disappearing right then and there. Hayner spoke up again, "See? I've got her sketchbook!"

Namine felt terribly embarrassed and didn't even have time to grab it as Hayner flipped open her precious book. A couple of loose sketches fluttered out as everyone turned to look.

Kairi picked one cluttered page up, her violet eyes widening as she did so, "Wow, these are really good."

"Oh, here it is," Hayner announced triumphantly as he slapped the book down to show them the appointed page.

Pence gulped, as everyone observed with interest. It was really detailed with the two boys goofing around, a shadowy Tram Common in the background. The colorless sketch stood out like a sore thumb in Namine's eyes, making her blanch even more as the familiar drawing jumped out at her from her violated sketchbook. Angry tears welled in her eyes as she wished that this wasn't happening to her.

Riku quirked her eyebrow, "It's Sora and the other is…"

"Let's not talk about him," Sora cut in smoothly, his goofy grin vacant.

Olette smiled a bit wistfully, but otherwise drew her attention away from the picture and back to Namine, "I never knew that you could draw so well. To copy a photo just by remembering it once is incredible…"

Pence nodded and Kairi also gave Namine a sympathetic smile. Tidus and Wakka exchanged quick looks that Namine couldn't read. Somehow, she only felt worse than ever. Suddenly instead of feeling like her privacy was invaded, she felt as if she had just unintentionally invaded theirs.

The quiet group seemed to stay completely silent as the other students in the background buzzed with gossip and other mindless chatter. Meanwhile, Namine just took her sketchbook back, trying to control her wild emotions. Her hands shook as she picked up her scattered drawings and stuffed them back into her loaded leather bound pages. She fumbled quickly with the worn leather clasp as she forced it back in place.

The angry tears from earlier had not spilt, and were only a glimmer in her eye as she smiled blandly at the group, "I just remembered about the research paper due for English next week. I think I'll skip the rest of lunch to get started on it."

With that, she stood and fled from the lunchroom before the humiliation could fully settle in.

Though the school was getting easier and easier to navigate through, Namine couldn't pay enough attention to know exactly where she was going. All she did know was that she was going up, somewhere where she could spend some time to herself and forget about what happened.

Her legs burned from climbing up the stairs by the time she reached a small steel door tucked away in a secluded hallway. Looking around nervously, Namine wondered where she was. But she felt curiosity draw her closer to the shut door.

It was heavy, but unlocked easily as Namine pushed her way through. She felt a breath of fresh, cool wind tickle her face just as she turned around from securing a wooden wedge between the door and its frame. There was a narrow strip of dark, moldy stairs leading up. Her hands found themselves along the concrete wall as she ascended them, only vaguely worrying about what would happen if she accidentally tripped on the mold and fell.

The dull daylight from the clouded sun sprayed the top few steps of the concrete stairs. As she neared, the wind grew stronger. She poked her head out from under the small awning, making sure that no one was around to catch her.

Realizing that it was the school roof, Namine finally began to relax as a sense of peaceful solitude eased her mind. She'd finally be alone to think or draw now that she found this great place to spend some time with herself.

She rose out from the stairs and walked over to the side of the roof. Dropping her school bag on the ground, Namine leaned against the railing, letting her long blonde hair sway against the side of her face. The wind occasionally picked up the hair from the nape of her neck, fluttering the shorter strands against her skin and sending goose bumps running up and down her arms. Looking at the town from above the school, Namine could see a range of buildings splayed out before her with the trademark Twilight Town Bell Tower gleaming faintly in the distance.

Namine turned her back to the rail and leaned back, trusting her weight against the sturdy metal structure. Her eyes wandered their blue gaze up at the gray-mucky sky and lost her way just staring and staring into the endless, formless, nothingness…

The sky was so vast, so full of color and no color at all.

It swallowed her, just as she tried to swallow her troubles.

The sky just stretched.

And stretched.

And stretched…

"What do you think you're doing up here? This is a restricted area for students like you."

Upon hearing the cold, tactless tone, Namine brought her gaze back down to a peripheral view, looking nonplused at the intruder, "So?"

The blonde-haired boy seemed a little surprised, "I see I didn't startle you this time."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but all of my buttons have been pushed for today," Namine sank to her knees, "I just needed to get away somewhere."

If Namine had anything to say about seeing spirits, it would be about why she ever saw them in the first place at all. It wasn't like she asked for it. She didn't particularly want to see them either. If she could have chosen her pick of abilities, it wouldn't have been seeing dead people.

To her, they were like solid beings walking on solid ground that she could touch and interact with as if she was one of their own. Occasionally, they could be missing feet or actual faces, but she never paid much attention to strangers she saw on the streets anyway. So it was unlikely that she would remember every ghost she passed.

Maybe she should have been more enthusiastic about being an indigo child, but she really couldn't bring herself to feel proud about it. At some earlier point in her life, she had thought it was awesome. But after realizing that making friends with such flimsy connections hurt her more than she could bear, Namine chose to seclude herself from them. Ignore them as much as possible if she could. After all, how could she remain friends with any of them, if their existence in the material world was so unstable? One minute she would have a friend, and the next it was like they died… all over again when they decided to move on.

Namine glared at the opposite railing ahead of her, hugging her knees and sulking like there was no tomorrow. So if she was so against making friends with ghosts, why was she even talking to one of them now?

The boy looked at her longer and made an unimpressed sound under his breath. His eyes were wary of her as he sat down facing her, "Did the railing look at you funny or something? You look irritated."

Namine sighed, "I am – by you, ironically."

He retorted, annoyed, "It's not like I asked you to come here and verbally abuse me."

"I know that," Namine grumbled, "It's just that you're always there on my mind, all the time!" She covered her face with her hands, "Fancy you just walked away through a wall when you could have helped me out that day. You weren't even polite enough to tell me your name."

"It's your fault for not asking," he muttered back.

"And it's your fault for not giving me the chance to!" she snapped quickly.

He ignored her last comment, "So you're here to get away. What for?"

"My stupid twin brother for embarrassing me, and my friends who I was embarrassed in front of," Namine told him. There was no point in hiding anything from him, right? It wasn't like he could do anything or tell anybody.

Naturally curious, he probed further, "What was it over?"

Namine felt slightly hesitant to continue the conversation, but she was more relieved that she could share her problems with someone else, "I guess I could show you. Everybody I know has already seen it, thanks to Hayner!"

She crawled towards her bag a few feet away and rifled her hands through its contents looking for her brown leather sketchpad. Once she felt the familiar soft and slippery leather surface, she tugged it out and crawled back, planting herself next to him, her skirt ruffling around her.

Feeling his eyes on her, she looked up only to catch him shifting his stare away. He seemed embarrassed, but she felt too tired to prod him about it.

Being careful to keep the loose pages from getting snatched by the wind, Namine flipped through her book. Remembering something on her mind, she addressed him as she searched, "What's your name? I still don't think I caught it."

When she looked back at him again, the frighteningly serious gaze from his stormy blue eyes halted her breath, "It's Roxas."

Namine blinked before remembering to breathe again. Just then, she felt a little faint, her heart beating a little faster than usual. He looked so serious – and sad. She hadn't seen any sadness like that before. His stiff mouth never showed any real thoughts or feelings that she could catch. Just the way his drawn brows darkened his stormy blue eyes scared her when she looked at him.

He was distant, unyielding, and secretive. He acted as though the whole world was out to get him if he slipped up. It was sad to see, but likewise, she felt as if she had found a kin among strangers. As strange as it may have seemed, Namine could tell that he would understand almost anything she told him.

Namine reached out a hand and touched his face gently. There was more about Roxas than what met the eye. Something happened to him – whether it was his time as a ghost, or something that happened to him before he turned into one. Whatever had scarred him scarred him deeply.

Upon realizing what she was doing, Namine snatched her hands back as if his warm skin had scalded her.

"What was that?" Namine whispered, her heart thundering her chest and pumping a red blush to her face. She couldn't even look at him, less he was angry with her. She didn't want to face him.

"You tell me," he answered. She could sense Roxas slowly leaned back to put some space in between them.

Namine shook her head, "You just looked kind of sad. I wonder what happened to you."

She spared a peak at him, and noticed that he didn't seem at all disturbed. In fact, he looked like he was deep in thought, "What happens if I told you that I only know my name and that I died?"

"Is it true?' Namine asked him quietly.

"Yeah," Roxas said, "I've got no other memories. Just that I saw some bright light and then I ended up here. It was like waking up from a dream that I don't really remember."

Namine couldn't offer him any words after that, but she could only hand her sketchbook to him silently. She waited for him to take it. When he didn't, she looked at him to see what was wrong. Roxas' face was unreadable as he lifted a hand to touch the book.

Only to have his fingers sink right through it as if the surface was not there.

Namine mentally reprimanded herself as he retracted his hand. Instead, she moved closer to him and held the picture up so he could see it. As his eyes scanned the drawing, Namine searched his concentrated gaze for any signs of recognition – any at all. But he only lifted his head a little and pointed to one of the faces on the page, "Is that…?"

"Yes. It's you," she nodded, "Pence showed me this photo a while ago and it just caught my attention, because, well… I saw you, and… you see…" Her mumbling died from her lips. She felt terribly embarrassed at the lack of a better cover up. Her flushed cheeks were burning, but it wasn't completely unbearable as the cool wind picked up.

Roxas didn't seem to notice, "Who's the other boy?" He finally looked up at her curiously.

"That's Sora," Namine said flippantly as another round of pinks blotched her cheeks.

Roxas narrowed his eyes slightly, "I wish I could say I knew him, but I really can't because I don't," he added after a moment, "Do you like him or something?"

Namine closed her sketchbook and tied the clasp back as she spoke through her teeth, "I'd curb your curiosity if I were you."

"Hm," Roxas answered absently, not really paying attention to her as his gaze seemed entirely focused on another matter.

Namine stood up and leaned forward against the rail again, listening instead of seeing this time. She didn't know why, but she felt a peace here in this lonely altitude. She senses reached out, recognizing Roxas as he sat next to her – a warm presence.

She decided to try talking to him again, "Is this where you stay the whole day?"

Roxas didn't move, but simply stood as he leaned his head back while he stared up into the solemn sky, "Day? Night? Does it matter anymore?"

Namine sighed, "Well, where can I find you usually?'

"Nowhere and everywhere, if you must know."

"I see. I take it that you don't want to see me again." When Roxas didn't say anything back, Namine started to feel the gloom settle in again. It was almost as if a clammy hand just ran a trail over her heart, making her shiver. Whether he liked it or not, she wanted to see him again. She couldn't deny that as much as the thought startled her.

"Actually, this is a change for me. I've always been alone until you showed up," Roxas finally spoke. His voice was low and quiet, so soft that Namine hardly heard him at first. He chuckled without much humor, "It's not everyday you meet someone who talks to ghosts like they're actual people."

"But Roxas," Namine began, "You are a real person."

His answer hadn't been the answer she was looking for, but she settled on it. If she had it her way right then and there, she would have given him a piece of her mind about how annoying his ambiguous attitude was. But before either of them could say anything again, a new voice spoke up behind them.

"I never knew that a creepy little stairwell would lead up here," the new voice drawled unkindly, "Figures that it was a little gray mouse who found such a cozy little cranny."

Namine whirled around quickly and sensed Roxas do the same. Both had been caught off guard as Seifer advanced towards them with his sour smirk twisting his lips. His gray contentious eyes never wavered from Namine's face.

Namine steeled herself wearily, "What do you want?"

Seifer just laughed at her brusque assumption, "Me? How nice of you to ask. But I'll let you in on something, Plain Jane," he crossed his muscled arms and sneered down at her, "No one gets in my way. You should ask the people around here about what I do to those I don't like."

"I don't have to ask around to know what a coward you are," Namine tightened her hands over her sketchbook and glared defiantly at him. When he only blocked her way when she tried to move around him, Namine hissed coldly, "Frankly, I don't have the time of day to deal with you. Get out of the way."

Seifer smiled menacingly, "I thought you would say something bitchy like that. We'll start with this before I leave you heartbroken and crying. I get what I want. Anyone who gets on my bad side will be taken out of the picture," he looked pointedly at her, "Even you."

"Oh, I'm so scared," Namine rolled her eyes, feeling fed up as she attempted to move around him again.

He let her, but wrenched her sketchbook out of her arms as she passed. Namine stumbled to a halt as she whirled around to face him again, gapping slightly as Seifer passed her precious book between his hands idly. He looked lazily back at her, "And now, I'll start by taking this."

Namine was tempted to scream and tackle him, but she knew it was pointless. He was way stronger than her by a long run. Namine's freezing white hands fisted as the strong wind whipped up her hair and clothes. She didn't care. It felt as if some sort of electricity was charging through her body, giving her the immense confidence that she usually lacked, "Give me my book back, Seifer."

When he didn't do anything but stand there and look at her, Namine lost her reserve and tried to snatch it back from him. "GIVE IT BACK!" she roared, digging her nails into his arm.

Seifer just yanked his arm back, ignoring the damage on his thick skin. He threw her down roughly, but Roxas was there to grab her shoulders before she could crack her head against the concrete. Seifer didn't seem to notice Roxas' presence at all as he gave Namine a fake innocent look, "This? Oh, my bad. Here, have it back then."

Namine saw him pull his arm back and chuck it over her head. Without thinking, she pushed away from Roxas to chase after her book. Her hand stretched as far as she could to grab it before it could fly past the railing. But just then, two things happened simultaneously.

Namine caught her sketchbook, gasping as she slammed against the metal rail – and her balance tipped as the wind tucked her over the other side.

Her eyes widened upon hearing an ear-splitting scream. It wasn't till after the fear settled in that Namine realized she was the one screaming bloody murder.

Her arm jerked suddenly as the joint in her right shoulder felt like it was going to pop apart. Looking up with terrified eyes, she saw Roxas grasping her wrist in a steel-like grip. He stared back at her, his face looking strained as he tried to concentrate on pulling her up. She wondered how much energy he was using to just stay solid for her as he fought from sinking into the concrete ground.

"Roxas!" she cried. Suddenly, she noticed a white knuckled hand sticking through Roxas' side, as it held tight to the railing. She followed the hand to see a bewildered and incredulous Seifer staring down at her with horrified surprise.

Seifer sputtered, "You – you're floating…"

Namine ignored him, staring back into Roxas' eyes – his beautiful sky blue eyes that reflected another inner storm brewing. "Roxas," Namine squeaked, unsure about what he was thinking.

"Hang on," he told her calmly, "I'm going to pull you up. Don't let go."

She nodded with a stiff jerk of her head. She cast a quick look towards Seifer, but he was already gone.

Her school skirt fluttered around her legs in the snapping wind as she dared a look down past her feet. The ground drop was horrific, to say the least. She couldn't even fathom how long of a drop it was from where she dangled helplessly in the air. The car below seemed no bigger than the size of her palm. She knew that if she fell, she wouldn't make it – if either of their hands slipped, she would plummet to her death.

The two stared back at each other, neither capable of speaking less it compromised the situation.

Unlike a regular person, Roxas relied on his own energy to stand on solid ground. Simply moving solid objects used immense concentration and control over his emotions. Though Namine was a matter all on her own, the railing and the ground – all of it still applied to the rules. If he were to lose his reserve and evaporate from existence temporarily, he would not be able to help Namine. She would only join him in the afterlife.

He couldn't spare his concentration to use the railing – his hands would either just go through, or worse, he would drop the very person he chose to save. Namine saw him gasp, and tighten his grip even more. She could tell his concentration was draining by the second. She blinked away at the windburn in her eyes and struggled to remain still. She tensed suddenly as she felt herself sinking downwards, just as Roxas' feet began to sink into the roof as well. With a trembling voice, she asked him, "W-what's happening?"

"Just concentrate on holding my hand!" Roxas told her, struggling to keep them from sinking too fast.

"Roxas!" she cried, feeling frustrated with herself, "Your hand, it's turning transparent–!"

Roxas clenched his jaw and clamped his eyes shut tightly. Damn it! He couldn't hold onto the material plane much longer like this!

"No! _ROXAS!_"

………

………

………

………

A/N: Oh no! Will Roxas drop her? Maybe he will. He might just want another companion in the afterlife, don't you think? Anyway, once again, if you've read my story, please write me a review. Much appreciated – thank you. :)

My personal thanks to Chapter 2 reviewers: hoopla37 , Roxas fan 3513, snowyleopard, timekeeper1824, X-The Random Vampire-X, KhanomAna, Yuleen75, estrellaz, PrincessKeira, NamineLovesRoxasTooMuch, Hoshizora no Hikari, Iridaceae, Lana, and SagaLight.

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_What is/was your favorite school-assigned book for English or History?_

………

_**My Answer:**_

_Anything Shakespeare, my favorite play being __Twelfth Night__ even though my school never assigned that. We did read ones like Julius Caesar , R & J , A Midsummer Night's Dream , Hamlet, __etc. Shakespeare's got my brand of humor – the British kind. :D_

………

………

………


	4. The Christmas Angel

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 4: The Christmas Angel

………

A/N: The fourth chapter as promised! Please enjoy – and please remember to answer the **Question** at the end. :)

………

………

_Previous Chapter:_

_He couldn't spare his concentration to use the railing – his hands would either just go through, or worse, he would drop the very person he chose to save. Namine saw him gasp, and tighten his grip even more. She could tell his concentration was draining by the second. She blinked away at the windburn in her eyes and struggled to remain still. She tensed suddenly as she felt herself sinking downwards, just as Roxas' feet began to sink into the roof as well. With a trembling voice, she asked him, "W-what's happening?"_

"_Just concentrate on holding my hand!" Roxas told her, struggling to keep them from sinking too fast._

"_Roxas!" she cried, feeling frustrated with herself, "Your hand, it's turning transparent–!"_

_Roxas clenched his jaw and clamped his eyes shut tightly. Damn it! He couldn't hold onto the material plane much longer like this!_

"_No! __**ROXAS!**__"_

………

………

"No, Roxas! Roxas! Help!" Namine struggled not to squirm, tears falling freely from her eyes.

"_Namine!_"

Another hand seized her shaking arm. The strong grip was warm, warmer than Roxas', "Namine! Hang in there!"

Namine looked up from watching her feet kick thin air. At first, she thought that there were two Roxases holding her hand. But after a second of clear thinking, Namine realized that one was indeed Roxas and the other was Sora. One of Sora's hands held hers while the other gripped the railing behind him to keep him from falling off the roof as he leaned as far as he could towards her.

Behind the rail, Namine could see the horrified faces of her friends. Olette was crying while a white-faced Kairi and Riku held fast to Sora's wrist just in case he'd slip. Beyond that, she could hear all of them shouting her name and a blur of other things. She didn't know exactly what they were saying. Her brain was thinking too fast and too slow to comprehend anything beyond _'I don't want to die.'_

Sora pulled his balance in as he successfully reeled Namine to the stucco wall under the railing. As she stared up at him, she could also see Roxas' tight expression. Both of them sported similar looks – drawn brows, pale lips, and electric blue eyes. Namine saw Roxas take a deep breath and shift his feet, lifting them up slowly through the concrete ground so that he could stand on a solid surface again.

With a great tug and the cheers of her friends on the other side of the railing, both boys pulled her up. Roxas had a face of stone while Sora's determined look changed into surprise once he realized that he was not the only one pulling Namine's arm. The second Namine was within reach of the rooftop; other pairs of hand grabbed her and pulled her over to safety. Namine fell and landed on Roxas while Sora climbed over the railing by himself and collapsed on his bum.

Trying to calm her heart, Namine decided to wait a moment before moving. She was only faintly aware that the side of her face was pressed in Roxas' shirt. The steady beat of his heart gradually soothed her as she opened her eyes again.

It was hard to breathe with everyone crowded around. Selphie and Kairi's faces were pressed close to hers, as Olette crouched down with her hands over her mouth. Pence, Tidus, and Wakka also came to crowd around, while Riku and Sora exchanged looks. Namine blinked wearily and was very tempted to close her eyes and forget what was happening.

In the distance, she vaguely heard the crash of the stairwell door busting open against the wall as two sets of feet pounded up the steps.

"Namine!" Hayner gasped as he hurried over and dropped to the ground beside her.

"Nami?" she heard Selphie's voice somewhere above her too.

Roxas sat up, pulling Namine up with him, "Your name is Namine?"

Namine nodded mutely, before grabbing him around the middle tightly. "Thank you, Roxas!" she cried into his shoulder, "I don't know how I'll be able to make it up you."

She released him at arms length, and stood up shakily. She held out a hand to him and smiled, her free hand trying to wipe the tears from her eyes. After a dumbfounded moment, Roxas took her hand and allowed her to help pull him up.

"Namine," Olette spoke up hesitantly, her watery green eyes wide. Namine and Roxas turned to look at her questioningly, "How do you know… that name?"

Sora looked at Namine with uncertain eyes too, his face gaunt with marred disbelief, "How do you know Roxas?"

………

When Namine had come home that day with Hayner trailing silently beside her on his skateboard, their mother was already in the toasty kitchen bustling making dinner with her wavy, sandy blonde hair bouncing in it's loose bun. As the woman turned around when Namine and Hayner stepped into the kitchen, her brown eyes welcomed her children home. A warming smile touched her face as she gave both of them a hearty hug. While Namine embraced her mother, she breathed in the familiar cinnamon and nutmeg scent, and almost began to cry again.

The fact that she had almost lost everything had not hit her until she saw her mother's crow's feet crinkling faintly on the corners of her tired eyes. She shuddered to imagine what it would be like to never see her mother's crinkly eyes again. If Namine really had died, she knew those worn lines on her mother's face would have creased even more. After her father's death two years ago, their mother had cried day and night, transforming into subdued version of her youthful, energetic self. Now that her mother had just recently began to earn back a little of her youth, Namine felt terrible that she could have taken that all away again.

When Namine pulled away, she shied away from the glow of her mother's smile, feeling like she did not deserve its warmth. Kissing her mother's shocked face quickly, Namine disappeared up the stairs and into her room. She didn't even dare look at her silent brother.

She was afraid, even when the danger was now miles away.

As she lay quietly in bed above her plush, cotton quilt, Namine shut her eyes tightly. Shutting out the sound of her mother questioning Hayner in the kitchen, Namine willed her body to sink into the soft mattress and disappear. When that didn't block out her thoughts, Namine forced a pillow over her head as she curled up on her side into a fetal position.

But the fear would not leave her. The butterflies in her stomach plagued her body, reenacting the stomach-flip feeling when she plummeted off the edge of the roof. Without Roxas and Sora's help, there would be a bloody, splattered mess left on the school's front entrance for the police to clean up. Namine's ill thoughts tried to estimate the number of pieces her body would have scattered into then. A cold, clammy feeling slithered down her arms and back as she bit back a sob.

Aside from her near-death experience, she had had to explain to her friends about her secret abilities. She knew it hadn't sat well with them at all, judging their incredulous expressions as she explained to them what had happened. Yet after expecting them to desert her, none of them did. They had not rejected her like the people in her past had, especially Sora.

But all of them had shared the same painful disbelief when Namine mentioned Roxas. The agonizing looks reminded her of mourning friends and family at a funeral.

Problem was – Roxas had no idea who any of them were. She had asked him, and he merely shook his head, his eyes dulling into their original sadness and anger.

Some of her friends had denied Roxas even being there on the roof at all. Tidus and Pence being the first who expressed their opinions. Namine almost started to hate the two of them when Roxas' sad face had turned into an expression full of hurt. That look was one she had worn almost all her life.

Somehow, she was going to prove to them that he existed. She promised – she would be the one to erase Roxas' loneliness. She didn't want him to feel the same sorrow she had felt before.

But before any of them could continue the discussion, the bell rang signaling the end of lunch and the grumbling departure of the group as they split up to catch their next classes. However, before Namine left she had wanted to arrange another meeting with Roxas.

But when she turned around to speak to him, he had already vanished like a forgotten dream.

Only Sora, Hayner, and Olette stayed behind for a minute or two. Hayner, of course believed everything she had related to them – no questions asked, hands down. Olette had become very attached to Namine and did not think she was dishonest. Besides, Roxas was a dear friend, Olette told her, truly a wonderful person who cared about everybody's well being before his own.

If Roxas hadn't just saved Namine in a capricious burst of heroism, she would have had her doubts about the bitter boy.

The whole time, Sora seemed to hold back before he said anything to her – which was quite unusual for the normally light-hearted person he was. He had stood back, his face carefully drawn and pensive. When he finally did speak up, he had asked to talk to her alone.

When Hayner and Olette were clear out of earshot, Sora had turned back to face Namine, the wind tugging gently at his wild brown hair around his face. She remembered watching him move a displaced lock behind his ear, away from his mouth. She had come to recognize it as a sign of distress or concentration. He had sighed deeply before he and spoke again.

"_Meet me after school tomorrow, will you? Find a reason to stay longer at school or something, and then look for me at four – in front of the school gates. I need to show you something."_

Namine opened her eyes again. Taking her mp3 player off the shelf, Namine put on her earphones and reset the settings to repeat. She picked Debussy's _Reverie_ and turned to her side again, propping her head up on a cool palm. As the soft melody played in the background, Namine began to relax, letting her mind expand. Her free hand fiddled at a tear in her quilt pattern as her mind turned over the many possible things Sora would want to show her. As she thought, she let the dream-like melody carry her away into the recesses of her mind.

He seemed totally serious, so Namine was fairly sure it was very important. Most likely, Sora may have wanted to show her something about Roxas. Maybe… Sora wanted to take her to _see_ Roxas, his grave probably.

Startled by her train of thought, Namine's fingers stopped digging into the old quilt. Letting go of the frayed threads, Namine turned over onto her back. She refocused her thoughts with vigor, but the tightness in her chest only kept constricting her whenever she thought about the loneliness in Roxas' eyes.

Just what did she think of him? Could he be her friend? After all, he did save her. She only half-considered thanking Seifer, before mentally snorting at the mere thought of thanking a perpetrator. Her thoughts drifted back to Roxas again, thinking about his sudden departure. He had left so suddenly – she didn't even know if he appreciated her embracing him. Come to think of it, it was slightly embarrassing doing that in front of everybody.

But she didn't regret thanking him at all, even if she looked like she was hugging air.

A part of her wanted to nurture a friendship with the ghost, even if he was very un-Casper like. But remembering why she avoided making friends with his kind deterred her slightly from considering a friendship between them. No matter what…ghosts were only ghosts. They always left in the end when whatever had held them back, let them go.

What would happen to her if she had to let one more friend go? It was like watching someone she cared about die over and over again.

There were only so many deaths she could accept.

So what if one day Roxas had to leave her?

Would it be like that_ other_ time too?

Her blood chilled even after she rubbed her cold arms fervently. All thought of going downstairs again left her mind. When her brother came upstairs to get her for dinner, she didn't even budge an inch. She didn't have much of an appetite for dinner anyway with her stomach still churning on the tuna sandwich from lunch that day. Namine ignored him, even when Hayner knocked loudly on the door and told her that he'd knock down the door if she didn't open up. She simply threw the covers over her head and floored the volume of her mp3, blocking out all sounds beyond the _Reverie_.

After a while, she could feel Hayner's feet stamp back down the hall and down the stairs. Once she was sure neither her brother or her mother would come back upstairs to disrupt her peace, Namine turned the volume of her mp3 down again and sighed, twisting restlessly to her side again, facing the blank blue wall and gradually falling asleep.

………

Her dream made her squirm. Tossing and turning her from side to side in her dark oblivion, it pulled her around like a tinker's toy on gravel. She woke up briefly, barely registering the half-risen moon already through the horizontal blinds. Beyond the window, dozens of stars twinkled, and twinkled, whiting out her vision until it turned black again.

Namine fell on her rump suddenly, and looked around the instant her chin jolted up. It was as if she had just woken up from a trance of some sort, but still partially sleeping. The mugginess clouded her eyes, and her eyes felt slow as she urged them to move.

Her vision blurred, desperately trying to focus.

'_Oh crap. Where… am I?'_ she grumbled to herself. Listening closely, she could hear the familiar dream-like melody of the _Reverie_ playing somewhere in the background, mixing with other gentle sounds.

The soft breathing of children's snores resounded peacefully in her ears, a breathy hum against the murky quiet. She slowly registered the mundane green hue of the wallpaper as she raised herself up carefully and shifted her vision around. The children were tucked away in a lumpy bed, two different shades of blonde burrowed deep in the cloud-patterned bedspread.

Moving closer, she saw two small faces resting, snuggled against the loose puffy pillows. She leaned forward to see them better: a boy and a girl.

Hayner and herself – in their shared bedroom from when they were little kids back in the old neighborhood. The music lulled her as she wandered towards the bedroom door and pressed her ear to the white wood, listening. Her mother was probably in the living room where the old stereo was. Namine sighed, remembering. Her mother had a taste for soft, pastel-like music, especially from big name composers like Claude Debussy and Maurice Ravel. But it had been ages since her mother touched any music at all.

She stopped listening to music two years ago when…

Something outside sounded, like the purr of an engine and wheels crunching across fresh fallen snow. Naturally curious, Namine drew her attention to the window to see the outside. She felt nothing as she tried to press her face against the glass. Namine half-expected as much. It was like the surface was not even there. The frosted over glass panes did not feel sharp with cold like it logically would be. Her breath remained invisible and did not fog up the vision of the gray-white world beyond her eyes.

A little blue car was driving up the driveway, and Namine felt as if her insides had suddenly decided to shut down on her. She fought from buckling at the knees. That was her dad's car.

The man that stepped out from the driver's side was her dad. That smiling man looking up at the falling snow did not seem to notice her watching him from the window. As he turned around in a slow circle, marveling at the snow, his golden-brown hair caught the fat, white flakes in tiny clumps. He merely blinked at the snow frosting his eyelashes as his young blue eyes squinted against the melting flakes.

His smile remained lop-sided, the way it always was.

Namine's nonexistent finger trailed along his image slowly. A trail of tears made its way down the corner of her eye as she whispered to the glass, _'I could recognize you anywhere, Dad.'_

She watched as he walked swiftly to the back of the car and pulled open the trunk's hood. He picked up the wrapped presents there, and carried them into the house.

Namine turned away once she could not see him anymore. She rubbed against the wet marks on her face, but had already forgotten why she was feeling so sad. Her eyes wandered over to the blurry, glowing Christmas tree, weighed down with the year's collection of homemade baubles and ornaments. The glass angel near the crown of the tree had always been her favorite.

'_Dad,'_ she asked herself, _'A Christmas Angel?'_ She wasn't sure why she said that, but a sudden shiver touched her spine.

Something had happened to him. But what had happened?

He was fine. She just saw him.

He was most definitely fine, she convinced herself.

The white door barely creaked as it opened and her father crept inside. She saw him peaking in with that big grin on his face. It was just like Hayner's, with the same dimples.

'_Dad!'_ Namine smiled back and ran towards him.

And fell right through him. She blinked, staring at the pale carpet in paralyzed confusion.

"For Namine," Namine turned around, but her father wasn't speaking to her, "And little Hayner."

'_No!'_ Namine shouted out loud, her voice cracking in her ears, _'No dad. I'm over here – behind you.' _

When he didn't turn around, Namine cried, her voice squeaking as the tears built up again, _'Look at me!'_

Why was he ignoring her?

'_Daddy?'_ Namine squeaked helplessly on the floor, _'I'm over here.'_

Namine blinked rapidly, fighting the water in her eyes as she watched the blurry image of her father placing gifts under the tree. She remembered that that Christmas morning, she would be getting her leather-bound sketchbook. And Hayner, his little green-camo hat to wear for the snowball fight with the neighborhood kids that day. But how did she already know? Presents were supposed to be surprises, she thought childishly.

Her eyes followed his as he looked back at the bed, and widened at what she saw. Seeing the peaceful, sleeping faces of the two children seemed to act as a harsh slap to her face, jarring her back into reality.

Her father straightened up and smiled at the little versions of herself and Hayner before tiptoeing out the door… only to tiptoe back and put a silver dollar beneath each of their pillows. She smiled bitterly, remembered at that sweet memory. He used to mix up roles, playing the tooth fairy and Santa at the same time.

Numbly, she followed him to the door this time. He was about to close it behind him, only looking back once, his eyes widening as if he just saw her for the first time.

'_Don't go,'_ Namine told him, stretching out a shaky, white arm, her fingers reaching towards him like white spider legs. He stopped closing the door on her and only stood there with a peculiar look on his face as he stared at her. Namine opened her mouth again, _'Don't go away this time. Don't go away anymore.'_

"Honey?" called her mother's voice. Namine saw him turn his face towards the end of the hall, his gray-blue eyes temporarily leaving her.

'_Dad!' _

His face snapped back towards her, but she was already moving towards him. Namine felt herself being drawn towards him without having to move her legs. Before he could back up, she had already flown through him and disappeared.

It was a different Christmas now. The air was frigid in her lungs and her breath came out in streams of white fog as she sighed against the dark and light sky. The dream-like melody still lulled its sad song somewhere inside her ears as she hummed along. Only, the humming did not seem to belong to her. It sounded too deep to be her voice.

The roads were icy and the sidewalk crunched when walked upon. There was a hazy bell tower in the distance and she was passing some sort of park while carrying a plastic bag. She fumbled through the bag, making sure that the glass Christmas angel inside would be in good shape for the tree this year. Her daughter had cried all night when they had found the old one in pieces at the bottom of the box earlier. Where else better to find a new one in Twilight Town? It was best known for its glass crafts and festivities after all. Also, coming all the way out to such a faraway town just to see her wife's family and buying gifts was not a simple feat.

Namine felt separate and began to realize that the thoughts were not hers as she watched everything play before her: the snow, the sky, the park, the tower, and the person carrying something under one arm approaching closer.

The calm mood crashed when a car screeched around the corner heading straight for the sidewalk after the vehicle seemed to flail out of control. She stopped and so did the figure ahead as everything seemed to freeze as the car zoomed towards the figure at a rapid speed.

Not really comprehending fast enough, a thousand things rushed through her mind as Namine felt her hand let go of the plastic bag. The loud shatter of the breaking angel seemed miles away as she began to dash frantically at the paralyzed figure not too far up ahead now.

He was too frozen to move as she came hurtling at him, jarring him forcefully to the side towards a telephone pole. Just a split second later, everything changed from relief to shock. It felt as if a huge, steel monster had crushed into her body, snapping all the bones in her leg and chest. A sudden and violent pressure crashed against the inside of her skull, as if her brain had suddenly mashed into her forehead from the bone-crushing force. There was a brief stillness as she sailed through the cutting, cold wind – wondering about how impossibly white and black everything had suddenly become in front of her eyes.

There was a shout somewhere else, further down the perpendicular street that the car sped away from.

As Namine felt her back and head slam into the hard black top of the road, Namine was suddenly ripped out of her body.

But it wasn't her body, as Namine observed, standing up weakly. On the ground, a scarlet pool grew under her feet from her father's twisted, mangled body. He lay in a chaotic position, his arms and legs sticking out in unnatural bends. His pale blue eyes were barely visible beneath the dirty mop of bronze, bloodstained hair. She collapsed stupidly, staring at his lifeless eyes while her bloodless hand reached towards his still face.

He was breathing, and breathing – quickly, and then slowly –

Until his chest stopped moving, and only his bent fingers twitched against the ground.

Namine's eyes grew in size, until she was sure they would pop out of her sockets. Tears had frozen inside her eyes, the wind scratching harshly against her dry irises.

And she remembered, one more time.

Her father, she knew, would die from head contusions in a sporadic fit of seizures at the town hospital later that night.

Because he died on Christmas Eve, he was a Christmas Angel.

– _Her_ Christmas Angel.

If she listened, she could hear the glass angel breaking again.

………

Namine jolted up, sending her mp3 player clacking to the floor. She reached out a blind hand and simply picked up the battered device and stuffed it under her pillow. Then she brought her arms over her head and turned to the side again. There was a dull light somewhere, penetrating through her eyelids and causing her mild annoyance. She forced her eyes open – or tried to at least.

Her eyes were glued shut.

Panicking momentarily, she brought her frantic hands to her face and rubbed away at the grittiness gluing her rheumy eyes shut. Namine grimaced and rubbed away at the heavy tearstains on her face, wondering how it all happened. Suddenly, with a shock as strong as a truck hitting the side of her head, she remembered her dreams from the night before.

She glanced at the digital clock, struggling to store away the pale memory of her dreams to the back of her agitated mind. The clock read 5:42 AM, so she decided to get up, dress, and shower earlier than usual.

Namine melted against the hot water as she drew out her time in the shower. As she inhaled the warm, soapy air, she leaning against the cool wet wall, letting the hot water run heavy rivers down the surface of her flat tummy. Her gray-blue eyes gazed dolefully at the steam as it rose up, only to flatten in misty clouds against the unyielding ceiling.

Tilting her head back, Namine wondered if she had meant to follow her father around in his past. Why did she have to have a vision like that? She couldn't imagine what could have brought up such horrible memories to the surface. The memories were like the water vapor that she was staring at. They built up constantly and then rose to the surface, but because there was a ceiling to the situation, there was nothing Namine could do to fix her troubled thoughts.

The shower finally ran cold, so she turned it off quickly. Feeling a little devious, Namine smirked. Seems like Hayner was not going to have a hot bath this morning, she thought to herself, dressing quickly into her school uniform. The white blob of a face almost startled her, as she looked at her reflection in the steamed mirror.

Shaking her head, she quickly used the hairdryer to clear of the fog on the reflective surface before working at her hair. She sighed once she could see herself clearly in the mirror again, before enjoying the hot air against her scalp. It was the first time in weeks since she dried her hair properly.

As she was leaving the bathroom, Namine thought she saw a white duplicate of herself staring at her from the mirror. A cold flash ran through her body, but the alarm was quickly brushed away as Namine assured herself that she was only imagining things.

Walking out while tying on her school tie, Namine glanced at Hayner's door, noticing how he hadn't come out yet. Glancing at the hall clock, it read 6:50 AM now. Well, Hayner did get up late sometimes too.

Namine still kept the memory of the day before sharply in her mind. She could still feel her anger towards him, but Hayner needed to get to school anyhow. She ignored her malicious thoughts of just leaving him as she headed towards his white door. The white wood was barely even visible though, with all the crazy mumbo-jumbo of crap hanging off its surface including a sign that screamed, "CAUTION: MONKEY IN THE HOUSE!" She rolled her eyes at the sign in her face and raised a fist to knock on the door.

But just then, Hayner had suddenly decided to pull open the door from the other side. He received a sharp knock on the nose in return.

Flinching back, Hayner yelped, making a grab at his offended face, "Ow! What was that for?"

Namine snatched her hand back looking slightly startled, but she said nothing. Her twin only glared at her and snapped, "If that was for what I did yesterday, fine – but you should've mentioned it to me so that I could have worn my hockey mask this morning."

"You still keep that thing even after I told you it was possessed?"

Hayner shrugged at his incredulous sister, "Well, yeah. Halloween's only a month or so away and I'm too lazy to arrange something else."

Namine remained aloof, "Why didn't you chuck it when I told you to? The last time you put it on, it stuck to your face for two days!"

"Whatever was up with it is gone, right?" Hayner continued without letting Namine rebuke him, "I'm keeping it and that's that."

"If it causes you trouble, don't come crying to me when you need someone to rip it off."

Hayner pulled a face at her and then flicked her nose, making her to swat at him. He leaned against his door, still barring her, "Was there something else you wanted to say?" The defensive look in his russet eyes probed her for answers.

"No, other than you should get up," she told him.

He put his hands up, "Yeah, well, I'm up now."

An awkward silence passed between them before Namine shrugged moving out of his way, "The water's running a little cold. Unless you want to let mom go first and use up the rest of hot water, you may want to hurry up." She gave him a sweet-natured grin, but her brother knew when she was mocking him. He simply rolled his eyes and brushed past her with his school uniform in hand.

Just as he went into the bathroom and closed the door, Namine turned away, preparing to go downstairs to the kitchen. But something in Hayner's room caught her eyes.

Walking into her twin's messy room, Namine spotted her object of interest from where it hung on the wall. Automatically, she touched the green-camo hat hanging on a hook next to his trophy collection. Its round smooth shell was warm under her touch where the steady stream of morning light had peeked at it through the windows. She lifted it off the hook.

"What are you doing?" Hayner asked from the door.

Namine almost dropped the hat, but managed to catch it before she did. Turning, she scowled mildly at him, "Just looking."

Hayner gave an annoyed snort, "If you wanted to see it, you should have asked me first." He walked stiffly to the drawer where he had forgotten his tie, then made his way over to Namine, taking the small hard-shelled hat from her.

Namine knew she had pinched a nerve in him somewhere without meaning to. After all, ever since their father died two years ago, the wounds on the family were still fresh. The mere memory of him remained a close yet distant, touchy memory. She probably shouldn't have intruded his privacy without asking.

But then she remembered how he had violated hers when he showed her sketchbook to the whole lunch table – a gift from their father as well. Her hand darted out and snatched the hat right back, "I should have said the same thing yesterday then."

Ignoring her brother, she hopped onto his bed and lay down, examining the hat above her face. She heard Hayner sigh, and then settle on the edge of the bed next to her leg. He looked over at her and asked, "What exactly did you want?"

Namine hid her face under the hat, "I had a dream again."

"You get dreams all the time. Big deal," Hayner snapped testily.

"It was about the past, with dad and… he saw me."

Hayner quieted. Namine wasn't sure whether it to continue or not, so she waited until her brother said something.

"Well, go on then," Hayner finally said.

Namine sighed, hugging the hat to her stomach as she told him about the Christmas at their old house. The instant she mentioned the neighborhood snowball fight and him receiving the hat that morning, it was like a light dawned in his eyes.

He nodded, "Okay, I think I remember that bit. It's kind of weird that dad was able to see you though. Did anything else happen?"

"I walked into him, and saw things through his eyes…" Namine trailed off, debating on how much she should tell him.

"About?" Hayner was relentless.

"I saw what he saw right before he died," Namine answered, "That car accident."

"You know very well that it wasn't an accident," Hayner spat bitterly, "Dad was _killed_. It was a hit-and-run incident, and the car had gone without a trace. Nobody saw the license plate, and the witness was just a no-help whelp."

Namine stared steadily at the eggshell ceiling and blinked her eyes, forcing back the memories, "You don't even know the witness, and you're already judging him. He probably, really didn't know. I saw everything through dad's eyes – everything happened too fast."

"Why are you defending a stranger?" Hayner raised his voice at her, "If he was smart enough to look for a license plate, you'd think the police would have caught the bastard behind the wheel already!"

Namine shook her head slowly, and closed her eyes. The car was too fast, and the witness – she was sure the shout came from him – had been too far away from the street corner when the car hit her father. Not wishing to argue with Hayner, she changed the topic, "Where were you when I nearly fell off the roof?"

The heavy question hung in the air, catching Hayner off-guard as he lost the fierce stiffness in his jaw. He blinked at her, as if he had only just heard her, "What?"

"You and Selphie arrived after I nearly fell off the roof," Namine reminded him.

"Well, you wouldn't want to know," Hayner said.

"Why wouldn't I?" Namine asked him accusingly, "If I had to guess, I would say you were off smooching with some girl while I was dangling a couple stories up in the air. Some brother you are."

"What?!" Hayner promptly fell of the bed, "I was beating Seifer's sorry ass – And you think I was making out!"

Namine shrugged her shoulders and nodded, "Sure."

Her brother seemed to have forgotten their earlier argument, as he climbed back up and retaliated with a pouting face. Namine remained nonplussed towards him, "You should go take that shower now before Mom starts singing in the bathroom."

Hayner's face was priceless as he scrambled out the door, "Wait, Ma! The shower's mine!"

As Namine ambled down the stairs, she heard Hayner protesting fervently about how he wasn't going to change in the barney boxers that were so conveniently on the bathroom counter with the rest of his clothes. Their mother's laugh followed Namine all the way to the kitchen.

On the way to school, Namine skated quickly down the sidewalk doing little tricks here and there. Hayner was a little farther ahead and practicing small grinds on whatever ledge was available as he passed. Namine smiled, enjoying the morning solitude. This was one of the great things about Twilight Town – the roads were free to skate on and nobody was really around to scold them so early in the morning. The town even had a couple of great skate parks just for the thrill of any kind of skating after school.

Just then, Namine pivoted to a stop, just barely catching her balance. Her heart was beating wildly, faster than the rate it was going when she was skating. Cold sweat ran down her back and beaded on her face as she turned to the wired fence next to her. By then, she could hear Hayner's skateboard roll to the sudden stop when he noticed that she was not following.

She skated back towards the street corner she had passed and onto the perpendicular road. She skated along it before stopping again and looking down the road. She could see the Twilight Bell Tower in the distance, visible even through the pink morning mist.

"Namine?"

She hardly heard Hayner's voice as the sound of screeching wheels deluded every other sound.

"Namine!" Hayner grabbed her shoulder and shook her worriedly, "Hey, what are you looking for?"

Namine shivered, but it wasn't because of the crisp morning air, "It's not what I'm looking for. It's what I'm looking at."

Hayner gave her a strange look, glancing at the street sign, "Sunrise Boulevard?"

"No. I meant this is where _it_ happened."

………

………

………

………

A/N: Wow, fourth chapter up. It think it's going rather slowly, but you must understand that changing the manuscript as I go along, just for the sake of my obsession with Kingdom Hearts – is not easy. Anyway, it's a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but there you have it. :)

My personal thanks to Chapter 3 reviewers: NamineLovesRoxasTooMuch , hoopla37 , Isabella Swan , timekeeper1824 , snowyleopard , CerberAsta , X-The Random Vampire-X , KhanomAna , PrincessKeira , .:Dez:. , estrellaz , and Hotaru89.

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_What is your inherent culture, your ethnicity? Can you tell me something about your culture? And – does your culture motivate you to do anything?_

(Please answer only if you feel comfortable telling me. Telling me will not change my view on you at all. I'm just interested in hearing about people's backgrounds. )

………

_**My Answer:**_

_I'm Chinese, and also part Japanese from my Dad's side. My family fled to Taiwan back in the 1940's to escape communism. Before my granny died, she taught me to speak some Japanese and explained that language is the key to connecting people. Therefore, I'm deciding to major in language, as well as Art – and see what I can contribute to this world._

………

………

………


	5. A Girl Inside the Mirror

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 5: A Girl Inside the Mirror

………

A/N: Happy Halloween update! I co-updated this with **Too Far Over the Edge**, just in case you guys are interested. Please enjoy! I probably won't be co-updating very often.

………

………

_Previous Chapter:_

_Just then, Namine pivoted to a stop, just barely catching her balance. Her heart was beating wildly, faster than the rate it was going when she was skating. Cold sweat ran down her back and beaded on her face as she turned to the wired fence next to her. By then, she could hear Hayner's skateboard roll to the sudden stop when he noticed that she was not following._

_She skated back towards the street corner she had passed and onto the perpendicular road. She skated along it before stopping again and looking down the road. She could see the Twilight Bell Tower in the distance, visible even through the pink morning mist._

"_Namine?"_

_She hardly heard Hayner's voice as the sound of screeching wheels deluded every other sound. _

"_Namine!" Hayner grabbed her shoulder and shook her worriedly, "Hey, what are you looking for?"_

_Namine shivered, but it wasn't because of the crisp morning air, "It's not what I'm looking for. It's what I'm looking at."_

_Hayner gave her a strange look, glancing at the street sign, "Sunrise Boulevard?"_

"_No. I meant this is where it happened."_

………

………

Hayner jerked his hand away as if he had burnt his fingers with a charred cigarette butt. Namine remained passive on the outside, even though it felt as if a monster had clawed her insides to ribbons. She turned and watched her brother mutely as he balled his hands into tight fists. He shook slightly, his eyes closing, and it was like Namine could read his thoughts by merely staring at him…

She was thinking the same thing.

Why today? Why now? She turned her face away from him to stare down at the skateboard that lay forgotten his feet. Things had never been so complicated before they moved to Twilight Town.

No, things had never been so complicated before their father died. Period.

There was a difference.

She was also afraid. What had triggered such things to happen? But she knew that it was futile to ponder a question like that. Maybe there really had been no reason, for things just happen when they do sometimes. She knew as well – all too well – time could not go backwards.

When she looked up at Hayner again, he had not moved. She had expected him to at least say something, but he merely looked back at her, his dimpled mouth pursed. Namine jumped as he suddenly slammed a foot down on the back of his skateboard, sending it sprawling halfway across the rough pavement, clattering loudly in its wake. Once it came to a halt, the air was deathly silent again. Upon seeing the flaming look in his russet eyes, she could not bring herself to berate him for scaring her.

Her heart fluttered, like a scared little bird that had not yet learned how to fly. It beat its wings in her chest as if in helpless distress. Namine finally mumbled to her twin, skating past him slowly, "Hey, lets get going. We'll be late."

Hayner didn't budge. He hadn't seemed to hear her either. Being the more emotional twin, he had trouble letting go of his hurt and rage. She knew he was angry for the same reason she was, but now was not the time to pick at a scab better left unopened. She regretted having stopped to gawk at Sunrise Boulevard at all. Faster than she anticipated, her own annoyance began to pile on top of her anger.

"Hayner," Namine spoke warningly. He only continued to root himself stubbornly in front of the wired fence.

She uttered a low growl, her tone changing, "_Hayner_. Now. _Move it._"

She wanted him to move on, and she wanted to let him know it after he ignored her warning for the third time.

Namine wasn't normally so impatient, but everything had been eating her up lately. Normally, she could not even resort to using violent methods on anybody. But the situation was anything but normal, and she liberated some of the self-restraint. She sank her fingers into the front of his shirt and yanked him down so hard that he stumbled. She managed to wheel him straight in front of her without even moving her feet. The anger that had boiled inside the pit of her stomach, threatened to spill by forcing her to do something she might regret later on.

_Yevon_, she thought, Destiny,_God._ She wanted to punch him in the gut and make him see some sense again. But that had never done anything to make anybody see much sense. He would probably just get sick if she nicked him well enough. She would not raise her hand to him, no matter how infantile he had decided to become.

"_Wake up already!_" She snapped cruelly, "You can't change what's happened. It's over, there are other things that are more important now."

Hayner threw her hand away from him and retorted back in a fit of fury, "Oh, so Dad's not important anymore? You don't care?"

"I do," Namine hissed vehemently, "But nobody can bring him back. Not even you."

"_Why us?_" Hayner asked her suddenly.

Namine softened her voice minutely, "I don't know. But we have to go to school now."

"_School?_" spat Hayner, "You're so heartless. Where did the old you go, Namine? You would have done something. If you can see so much, why didn't you foresee his death? _Why didn't you save Dad?_"

Namine stilled, her body going cold – colder than the early October morning. _What could I have done_, a small, fragile voice inside asked_, there was nothing I could do, because I never foresaw it before it happened._

"What could I have done?" Hayner seemed to speak her thoughts, shocking her back into breathing again, "I'm useless. If I were you, I would have done something – anything to save Dad. But I don't have a single bone in my body that can do the things you do."

She watched him turn away from her; facing in the direction of the rising sun where it's light peaked at them from behind the tower. Her shoulders shook as she breathed deeply. She was not going to cry, she was not going to cry…

She wasn't going to cry.

Her solution was to suck it up. Stuff the bad things away for a rainier day. But something about what her own brother said really stabbed her somewhere where it hurt the most. She did not think that Hayner had done so intentionally, for he had never been so cruel about it before. He had never brought up anything like it. He only ever showed her his support.

Then was all this time… a lie? Did he only support her on the outside, but on the inside, he had resented her like everybody else? Maybe it was not the same resentment, but it was resentment no less.

She brought the back of her wrist to her eyes and wiped viciously at them, clearing any stray tear away but not the raw heat that would assure redness later on. Hayner had not made her cry since kindergarten when he and some of his friends flipped her skirt and laughed at her Minnie Mouse underwear.

Faint footsteps were heard on the adjacent street that the two of them had been walking on just moments before. Namine stifled herself and stood up straighter, correcting her posture. She did not want anybody to see her upset. Looking upset was unbecoming of her. Instead, she looked wearily at the corner just as the person approached.

She was surprised to see Sora round onto Sunrise Boulevard. Immediately, she felt herself redden in embarrassment. What if he had heard them? What would he think about them? What would he think about her?

But if he did hear anything, Sora did not say acknowledge it. He merely gave them his infamous smile.

"Morning you two. What are you guys doing on this road? It's not a shortcut, just so you know."

Hayner greeted Sora evenly, though his smile did not carry its usual luster, "Hey, man. We were just passing by actually." Namine nodded her head at her sky-eyed friend, but did not trust her voice. She looked away from them, tilting her head down to hide her possibly red eyes.

Sora must have noticed for he bent his head down too, trying to look at her face. He must have been concerned, sensing her inability to smile back, "Namine? Is something wrong?"

She corrected her expression, straining the corners of her lips to force on a grin. She lied straight through her teeth, "No, not much. I guess I'm still just shaken up by yesterday."

Hearing this, Sora gave her a more understanding look as he encouraged her, "I see. But I'm pretty sure that today will be better than yesterday by the long run, don't you think so?"

Namine tried to follow his optimistic words, but unfortunately, her day had already started off on the wrong foot. But she had to really try in order to lie to him. Every time she looked at his curious expression and his very blue eyes, she wanted to tell him everything. It was an irrational reaction to say the least. She did not even know why she felt that way.

Her mind also seemed to blank though. What should she say to distract him if she could not continue lying? Maybe she could bring up their afternoon 'date,' but Hayner was standing there too. Not that she felt obliged to care about what he thought. She was still angry with him for various reasons. For example, the sketchbook humiliation and his two-faced insult were at the top of her list.

As if reading her thoughts, Sora asked her quite innocently, "You still up for meeting at four?"

She nodded reluctantly. "Y-Yeah," she almost croaked.

Hayner seemed to revert back into protective big brother mode and seemed a little perturbed, "What do you mean at four? I wasn't aware of any of this." He looked at Namine expectantly, "Well?"

Namine tried not to snap at him in front of Sora, but the annoyance still showed through, "It'll only be for a bit, Hayner."

But her brother did not appear convinced. Instead, his expression became pinched, his thoughts probably clicking in all the wrong places, "Are you two going out on a date?" His incredulous face only served to make Namine more annoyed.

"And if we were, which we aren't," Namine added the last part hastily as Hayner's face changed again, "You won't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, right?"

Hayner avoided Namine's suddenly piercing blue stare and noticed something in Sora's hand. Seeing that he had no choice but to change the topic, he dragged their friend into the mix-up too, "Say, Sora. What's with the flowers?"

Namine looked down at the shock of blue petals in Sora's hand. She wondered how she had missed them before as Sora held the small bouquet up, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I bring flowers here every week."

He walked to a lamppost to their right as the twins followed him, watching as he bent down. Namine squinted at the object. Spouting dew at the scalloped lip, a slim silver vase was wedged between the base of the lamppost and the stony road. It was fixed there, standing straight and solemn in its place. Two thin words, 'In Memory,' were engraved into the silvery surface, but the two other words below, presumably the name, were eroded beyond recognition.

Hayner asked hesitantly, "Is it someone you know?"

"I guess so," Sora said ambiguously as he took out a water bottle from his bag and opened it. None of them spoke another word as he poured the fresh, sparkling water into the vase and arranged the flowers neatly between the silver lips. Observantly, Namine noted that the blue blooms were bluebells. They were not in season, as spring was still two seasons away – which led her to believe that Sora either truly cherished, or respected whomever was there before.

Sora cast a sad smile from his face as he spoke again, "I wonder how he's doing up there."

Namine gazed thoughtfully at the bluebells with an unsettled heart. Was this why he always had at least one tardy attendance every week? Honestly though, she didn't want to know why. She wasn't willing to know who died on Sunrise Boulevard like her father.

Apparently, Hayner beat her to it again, "Who is it really?"

Sora stood up as Namine and Hayner waited for him to answer. By the peculiar look on his face, he was not going to give them a straight answer.

"Just someone I knew at one point in time." Namine and Hayner did not bother to pry any more answers from their suddenly taciturn friend.

Just as the friends began to head on their way again, a passing van stopped beside them. The backseat window rolled down and a familiar redhead leaned her head past the door.

"Hey guys! Do you need a ride?"

Namine, Sora, and Hayner looked between each other and checked their watches – their eyes bugging at the same time. Hayner was the first to cry out, "Oh my god! Only five minutes left?" He kicked up his overturned skateboard and looked back as he speeded away, "Sorry Kairi! But we're gonna be late!" He rounded the corner and disappeared before any of them could call him back.

"Honey?" a red-haired woman in the front asked Kairi, her voice sounded amused, "What's up with that boy?"

Namine, Kairi, and Sora had been staring after Hayner until they all looked back at each other, trying to contain their laughter. Kairi addressed her mother, "Don't worry about him, Mom."

Namine smiled sheepishly at her friend's mother, "Sorry about that Mrs. Kishimoto. My brother loses his head when he panics."

Kairi's mother laughed understandingly as Kairi reached over and opened the door to let Namine and Sora pile in. During the speedy trip to school, Namine's thoughts were far away as she let Sora and Kairi carry on a conversation between themselves.

When they arrived, Namine and Sora hopped out and waited as Kairi walked over to the driver' side to give her mother a goodbye kiss on one rouge cheek. After thanking and waving goodbye to Mrs. Kishimoto, they headed into the school building just as the first warning bell rang.

The first four periods went by without much happening. Everyone was totally oblivious to the planned outing between herself and Sora. Of course, Hayner knew, but he kept it wisely to himself. Besides, he was too busy fending off the group's jokes about his way of arriving to school earlier that day. Sora and Kairi were having so much fun retelling the story, and occasionally, Namine would laugh along with them.

Still, the tension between her and her brother that morning had not worn off yet. Everyone just assumed that it had to do with yesterday's lunch. Not even Olette or Pence figured out what Namine was truly peeved about. Normally, Namine may have told Olette about what happened, but there were a lot of things that Namine was not ready to share.

Even Hayner, the open book of the two, never spoke about their father to anyone. Namine found herself thinking about her father more often now, yet her passivity beguiled her friends to her real thoughts. She would not share her pain easily.

Her inability to speak of her father, even within the family, made her feel utterly alone sometimes. And now that she knew what Hayner truly thought, she felt even more alone like a little rowboat cast out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. She heard that the answers about oneself lay inside oneself, waiting to be discovered. At least, some philosopher or writer in her English class had written about something like. Who was it? Carl Jung? Hermann Hesse? She forgot.

She didn't care. But she was taught that the only way to reach the answers would be by admitting and accepting her way through. She knew she had a problem with sharing her real feelings. She knew that it was probably better for her to share, but she didn't want to feel any more different than she already was.

As Namine, Kairi, Olette, and Pence pushed into the lunchroom with all the other students, they hurried to their table and sat down to wait for the others. While Namine was drowning in her own thoughts again, leaving her three companions to converse amongst themselves, Sora, Hayner and Riku walked in with big grins as they openly joked around.

She felt her heart get slapped a little when she saw Hayner's bright smile and lively brown eyes as he greeted the people around him. He could always blend in with the crowd. He could laugh the whole morning off as a joke if he wanted to, while she moped and moped. Why couldn't she be more normal and outgoing like her twin? It must have been the billionth time her asked herself that.

Sora sat across from Hayner. By the looks of it, he was having trouble fighting off the big grin that split his handsome face too. Hayner or Riku must have said something awfully funny. She watched him out of the corner of her eye in fascination. His face was thoughtful as listened in on another conversation circulating the table. Namine decided to take this chance to say something to him while the others were distracted. She wanted to talk to somebody who would listen. She wanted to talk to somebody she could really connect to her.

She thought she could talk to him.

But just as she was leaning forward to speak, Kairi turned her head and whipped up some sort of funny inside joke between herself and Sora.

Namine could only stare at them sitting side by side, sharing something that she knew she would never be able to share with him. His laughing blue eyes, that relaxed smile, his charming voice… she wanted to be the one that could give all those things to him. She wanted to talk to him, share something with him, even if she did not know why.

But she knew she could not make that smile appear on his face the way Kairi could.

Not in a million years.

If her feelings had stung a little by a small reminder of her lack in confidence, her feelings now felt like a skeleton leaf being trampled to bits by the sharp hooves a racing horse.

As she averted her eyes to her untouched lunch, trying to ignore Sora and Kairi's blatant show of affection, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise. It was not the normal feeling she got when a paranormal presence was near. She just felt that someone was watching her. Flicking her subtle gaze up, she caught a glimpse of Riku staring at her intently from his seat beside Kairi. There was no doubt that he had caught everything.

The moment their eyes met, Namine felt a jolt of fear that she had been found out. That ephemeral moment had been too much for her – it was like being stuck under a light and microscope when he analyzed her with those sharp, inquisitive eyes. Her heart still beat uncomfortably, no matter how quickly she looked away.

Plastering on a smile, she put a hand on Olette's shoulder, quickly getting the brunette's smiling attention. Namine told her that she was leaving for the library again to work on the same paper-excuse as the day before. Olette seemed unconvinced as her smile dimmed a bit, but nodded and told Namine to be careful.

Namine hurried out of the stuffed cafeteria with her book bag slung over her shoulders, making sure to walk evenly but quickly. She could almost feel her friends watching her, and she didn't want to be bothered by one of them tagging along. She did not need supervision, even if yesterday had been a close call.

Thinking of a place she could find some needed solace and safety, she quickly rounded into a spacious corridor and into the nearest girl's bathroom. Despite the close proximity to the lunchroom, there were two other girl's lavatories that were much nicer, less gray and dirty looking. She knew other occupants would avoid this particular bathroom. The lighting flickered brokenly, and needed to be repaired. The old stalls smelled a little too. The sinks did not even have hot water; it was ice cold and left the hands trembling and frost bitten sometimes.

But it was perfect for her. She needed a wake up call, and the ice water would do great for her.

She turned the small glass knob and waited momentarily for the noisy water to jet out. Once the flow was even enough, she took handfuls of freezing water and washed her face repeatedly until her slightly pale lips turned a frosty pink.

Then she tasted salt, and blinked, finally realizing that she had begun to cry again. It wasn't the scene at the lunch table that had hurt her so. It was just that Sora and Kairi were merely the small forces that gave her that last push, sending her over the edge. After all, the other incidents before had finally brought her to the brink. The edge may not be the edge of insanity, but definitely the edge of her emotional capacity.

She stood before the sink, and leaned heavily against the white ceramic bowl, letting the spasmodic jetting water continue its way down the drain. Unbeknownst to her, her cheeks were steadily growing blotchier as she held her breath. The effort to keep her emotional breakdown quiet was quite straining.

Though she only felt the weight of her books in her book bag, weighing her down, she believed there was a heavier, invisible burden she carried. Her thoughts muddled, her mind sagged, and her heart scratched the inside of her chest raw each time she breathed. Why couldn't the mistakes in her like just go away? Disappear – leave her alone? Why couldn't she let herself curl up in a corner… and forget everything forever?

Why couldn't she stop caring?

Namine looked up, and stared into her silent reflection. In the poor lighting, she almost thought it was a different person, a gaunt, ill-looking shadow. The little lost girl inside the mirror looked nothing like her. Her hollow blue irises did not match the red surrounding them. The ragged, haggard look was no match for her normally pale, but healthy face. The sick yellow florescent lights cast dark green shadows under her cheeks and eyes, sagging down every normal contour of her face. Namine did not believe that the small, drooping shoulders belonged to her. Did she really look so horrible?

Was that what Hayner saw in her? Was that what everybody else saw in her?

Was that _thing_ inside the mirror what Sora saw in her?

Why did she have to move to Twilight Town? She knew that her mother moved them so that they could be closer to her relatives. But Namine had her equilibrium back at her old home. Maybe she did not like it there, but nothing as bad as the recent events had ever happened before they moved.

It was easier, not knowing things.

She had not known exactly where her father died before. He just died, and she let herself leave it at that. She just didn't want to tie up loose ends, because that would only make the reality of his death even more apparent. She did not want that. She did not want any more pain. Here in Twilight Town, she was drowning more than ever. Nobody could save her, only she could.

But she was getting to the point where she did not even want to save herself.

Namine felt her knees buckling under the invisible forces pulling her down. She finally collapsed on her shaking legs and hoped that she would not fall through the floor. Her hands clutched the cotton fabric of her plaid skirt, crinkling the blue and white patterns under her cold fingers.

What was wrong with her? She never really thought of such things before. All she could think about were the whys. If there really were answers inside of her that she was supposed to know already – why didn't she _know_ them?

Whoever the heck came up with the existentialism theory could go die again.

Before she could sink herself any deeper the she already was, Namine stiffened when she heard her name. Holding her breath in unconsciously, she wondered if she should answer.

"Namine? Are you in there?"

The voice did not belong to any girl. She could not place the voice with her muddled mind. She checked the face of her watch. Lunch was not going to end anytime soon. There was still at least another thirty some minutes left. After lunch, she had a free period, which she usually spent with Selphie up in the library.

"Namine?"

Namine looked up from her watch, debating on whether or not she should acknowledge the person. She finally realized that it was not Sora, though she half wished it would be him. To her surprise, it wasn't even her brother. She detected that low, soothing cadence in the voice, recognizing its owner. The voice belonged to Riku.

"If you're in there, you better come out because this is totally embarrassing leaning halfway into the girl's bathroom. I'm a decent guy, you know," Riku said uncomfortably.

Reluctantly, Namine picked herself up and straightened again before the mirror. She ignored the ugly reflection and shut off the water. Upon hearing her key chains jingling, Riku remained silent, waiting for her expectantly. Namine flushed in embarrassment.

Riku was not as close to her as… say, Sora or even Pence. He wasn't as distant as the other boys either though. He just fell right in the middle. It took time for her create personal bonds with people, and she just had not spent much time in his company. He had never tried to openly talk to her either, but she had suspicions that that had to be Hayner's doing.

Namine came out of the bathroom, her face thankfully dry. But behind her blonde bangs were two red, watery eyes that wouldn't look at her distant friend. She stared at their feet and tried to compose herself. What was he thinking? Did he think she was disgusting now that he saw her? Since he standing before her now, what were the others thinking?

"Was there something you wanted, Riku?" She asked quietly. But when he said nothing, she added, "I'm not feeling well right now."

Suddenly, she felt him put a gentle hand on her small shoulder. When she lifted her head to look at him, she saw that he was smiling faintly down at her. It wasn't his usual knowing smirk. It was the first genuine, sympathetic smile that she had seen from him. Namine could not think of what she could have done to deserve such a beautiful smile from him.

"I was wondering if you fell into a toilet or something." But his teasing voice turned serious, "It seems that I wasn't that far off though. You have water marks."

So, he knew she was crying. It almost sounded like he was asking what was wrong. She managed a half-smile. It was just so Riku to ask questions in such a manner. But she was not in the mood to enlighten him.

"If they wanted to find me, why didn't they just send Olette or Kairi?"

Riku shook his head, his platinum hair brushing his shoulders lightly. The smile was still there as he answered her truthfully, "They didn't send me. I sent myself."

"Why?" Namine asked, taken back.

"I saw what happened. I was sitting right next Kairi remember? But something tells me that that's not all that's bothering you. You did not strike me as the jealous girlfriend type."

Namine shrugged, "I do not strike anybody as the girlfriend type."

"Either way," said Riku, "Do you want to talk about anything?"

"No," Namine answered.

Riku replied evenly, "I want to talk to you. Will you talk to me?"

Namine didn't know whether to be shocked or not. Riku had never paid her too much attention before, and neither had she expected him to. He was always with somebody else – Hayner, Sora, Kairi… any of them, but her. And other girls in the school constantly tailed him. He even had a little unwanted fan club. He had the attention of anybody who mattered. So why was he seeking her out now? She did not think he was there to laugh at her – Riku was not cruel. But he was sarcastic, and she never knew what he was thinking. That made her afraid of telling him anything.

He looked genuinely concerned, yet she did not know how to answer him.

"Don't be so stubborn," Riku told her gently, "I'm not here to chastise you or make you uncomfortable. You don't have to say yes, but I honestly just want to have a talk with you."

Namine swallowed, "…Why?"

"Because you're struggling too hard with yourself. I don't know exactly what's wrong, but I would like to help you through it if I can."

"That's a first," Namine said disbelievingly.

"There's a first for everything though."

Namine could hardly believe Riku was talking to her so honestly. She could hardly even believe that he was talking to her at all, much less willingly reaching out to help her. She had half a mind to ask if he had eaten anything weird at lunch. But now, she was not so sure. She was beginning to see him in different light. He was the only other person who seemed to realize her turmoil. She did not know what to say to him. She may have told anybody else that she was fine, and then move on again. But Riku was different. She realized that now.

Riku jabbed his thumb towards the glass staircase, "Come on. We can talk and work on that paper of yours in the library – for real this time."

At that moment, she felt something stirring in the air between them. As he walked beside her, she felt as if something was changing between them. What that was, she had no idea. But he was right. There was always a first. He was the first to actually see her.

He was the first to see the girl inside the mirror.

………

………

………

………

A/N: Very, very emo. Sorry guys. But Namine can be quite the depressing character. However, there will definitely be a lift in the story. And I bet you guys were expecting Roxas to do the comforting, huh? Well, you'll have to wait for him to show up in the next chapter. But for you Riku fans out there, I think this little scene has satisfied you a bit. Don't worry though. He will have more of a role later on too. ;)

My personal thanks to Chapter 4 reviewers: snowyleopard , KhanomAna , Hotaru89 , timekeeper1824 , X-The Random Vampire-X , Malcolm Yuy , Nethernity , Isabella Swan , PrincessKeira , hoopla37 , DuskSamurai , and estrellaz .

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_Do you go trick-or-treating on Halloween? If you do, what are you dressing up as this year?_

………

_**My Answer:**_

_Well… I do. I'm way over the age where kids generally stop trick-or-treating. But has that stopped me? No. I can't resist free candy. Also, I'm about 5'1" or 5'2" and can pass as a 12 year old. It's really quite scary – 12 is off by quite a few years. Anyway, I have not decided my costume yet – my closet has accumulated so many that still fit despite the past X number of years I've been around. _

_**Help me pick please!**__ I will be a _geisha_, a _nobody_ (with my Oathkeeper,) a _pirate_, or a _Hogwarts witch_. Thanks. :)_

………

………

………


	6. Drunken in Warmth

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 6: Drunken in Warmth

………

A/N: Jee, I wonder what the title of this chapter means. :) Sorry about the postponed update guys. Exams are not always as easy as we wish 'em to be.

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING! **My birthday is coming up this Saturday, though I'm not quite sure if I'm excited to be a year older or not.

………

………

_Previous Chapter:_

_Namine could hardly believe Riku was talking to her so honestly. She could hardly even believe that he was talking to her at all, much less willingly reaching out to help her. She had half a mind to ask if he had eaten anything weird at lunch. But now, she was not so sure. She was beginning to see him in different light. He was the only other person who seemed to realize her turmoil. She did not know what to say to him. She may have told anybody else that she was fine, and then move on again. But Riku was different. She realized that now._

_Riku jabbed his thumb towards the glass staircase, "Come on. We can talk and work on that paper of yours in the library – for real this time."_

_At that moment, she felt something stirring in the air between them. As he walked beside her, she felt as if something was changing between them. What that was, she had no idea. But he was right. There was always a first. He was the first to actually see her. _

_He was the first to see the girl inside the mirror._

………

………

"So… You believe me?" Namine asked timidly.

Riku had taken his time listening to Namine's story of the day before. His cheek rested against a fist, propped up on the plush red armchair. He did not move to straighten up from his comfortable position against the backrest, but instead he crossed his legs turning his calculating gaze away from her towards the vast windows.

She waited nervously across from him, her back stiff and her hands kneaded into the pleats of her school skirt. She had hesitantly told him about seeing Roxas, letting him know that it was not the first time she had seen specters and the like. Her answers had been clipped and short, not revealing more than he had to know when he asked her a question. At first, he had simply studied her, but she had been unable to identify any peculiar reactions from him. He had only listened, asking the occasional question to spur her explanations.

But now that he appeared to have lost interest, or was simply staring off into his thoughts, she did not know what to expect from him. Namine frowned. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Everything she told him was true. It wasn't like she was embellishing anything to make herself seem special. In fact, she never did. She was never an attention seeker.

Maybe it wasn't just because she was afraid of whether he'd believe her or not. She was just afraid that he would see her differently – as a nut or a pitiable case. She was afraid of losing friends any more than she already did.

Riku continued to stare into the clear skies. He let out a sigh, and closed his eyes as he finally spoke, "I only believe in what I can see, or what can be proved."

Namine remained silent, holding her breath.

"But…" Riku turned his attention back to her guarded face, "Just because the world looks flat, doesn't mean it is flat. I could be wrong, and still believe I am right. I will not hold your views against you."

"That's better than nothing I guess," Namine uttered quietly.

Riku shrugged, "But I'm beginning to doubt my own thoughts now. Sora said something yesterday that corresponds with what you've told me."

"…What did he say?"

Riku closed his eyes again, his silver brow creased slightly almost as if he was annoyed, though she knew he was just thinking. "Namine," he began, "You can see ghosts. You can touch them. And they can touch you, right?"

"Right," Namine agreed tensely, "What are you getting at?"

"Sora told me something pretty interesting," his piercing green eyes struck her again, "He said that he was not the only one pulling you up – that there was somebody else there besides him and you. What's even more interesting is that you were _floating_, even before he was able to grab your hand."

"I could hardly call it just floating," Namine said quietly, touching her sore shoulder, "So, do you mean that Sora believes me?"

Riku shrugged, "I think so. He's not as skeptical as I am, but he hasn't got a spiritual bone in him either. Are you sure you're not Yevonite or anything?"

"Yes, I'm sure," said Namine firmly, "I'm an atheist. I only believe in what I can see too."

Riku flashed a grin at her, "Then I guess I'll have to believe you for the most part. Just don't go floating off buildings again."

Namine smiled faintly at him. Suddenly, she remembered Sora and Roxas' eerie resemblances. "Say, Riku… What's the connection between Sora and Roxas?"

Riku cautioned a question back at her, "First tell me what you know."

Seeing that there was no way she could get past his defenses, she answered him truthfully, "Besides the fact that Sora and Roxas could pass as identical twins, Roxas and I hardly know anything else."

"So you're saying Roxas remembers nothing?"

"Look," Namine began firmly, staring unflinchingly into his disbelieving eyes, "I'm not doing this to prove anything. I don't have to justify myself every step of the way, because I'm not telling you any lies. This isn't a competition of beliefs, okay?" Struggling to smooth her feathers back in place, Namine rested her cheek against the cool study table, staring out the window at the blues skies just as Riku had done only moments before.

Riku leaned in towards her, asking her softly, "Listen, I'm sorry I offended you. But I want to hear why _you_ want to know. What makes you want Roxas to remember? What if it was something painful? Do you want him to get hurt?"

Namine was taken back, even if she did not show it. She had not thought about it that way. She sighed, "I'm not sure exactly why I want to know. I just do. But he… He always looks so sad. I think if he can remember his past, maybe he will see himself as a 'somebody' again." Namine paused momentarily, before trying to explain her thoughts again, "You know, he reminds me of myself sometimes. I don't want to abandon him like everyone else."

She heard Riku suck in a breath quickly. Her words probably stung him, but Namine couldn't bring herself to care. She was only telling the truth.

"Roxas and Sora are first cousins."

She lifted her head, surprised that he was actually still willing to talk to her, "Cousins? Do you know what happened?""

Riku looked away from her, "Yeah, I do. But I can't tell you anything beyond that. It's not my place to do so."

"Would Sora tell me?" Namine mumbled absently. She wanted so badly to ask someone about how Roxas passed on – how he died. Maybe she was being over zealous about something that was not really any of her business. But she had to know him to help him. What could be the reason keeping him from leaving?

The instant the question left her mouth, Riku's eyes seem to flash in annoyance as they turned stony, like the hard surfaces of jade. His lips were pressed thin, but he parted them grimly to rebuke her, "Don't even think about asking him."

Namine stared at him in shock, and nodded hesitantly after a moment of studying his harsh glare. Riku looked dead serious, and she did not fancy getting on his or Sora's bad side. But there had to be something that happened between Roxas and Sora, or else Riku would not have been so coarse with her. Riku spoke again, softer this time, "Roxas may have lost his memories, but do you really think he would want them back? Don't you think it'd be better if you left things the way they are?"

Namine rubbed her aching temples. Could it be true? She never did ask Roxas what he wanted. She never had the chance to. What if he did not want to know? Then what would be the point of finding the answers on her own?

No, Riku must have been thwarting her questions again. She looked back at him with irrefutable eyes, as she continued to study his face. He had a knack for diffusing her questions, but he had forgotten that she had the stubbornness of a mule and the memory of an elephant. She would not give up with just a few well-placed questions on his part.

Riku did not seem very comfortable under her scrutiny, for he smoothly changed the subject, "Besides Roxas though, aren't you worried about something else? Maybe it's not any of my business though. I was just concerned."

Namine remained nonplussed, "I suppose this is where I ask you what you're concerned about."

"So you do know how the game goes. Now, what are your feelings towards Sora?" Riku asked.

Namine crossed her arms defensively, "Touché. You're right about one thing – it's not any of your business."

Just then, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. But Riku continued, ignoring he sharp ringing for the moment, "Sora and Kairi have been best friends since they were kids – one couldn't be without the other. They were closer to each other than to the rest of us. It's as if they are linked in a manner that can't be broken."

She kept her voice leveled, "And what's your point in telling me this now?"

"Just don't get hurt," he said, picking up his book bag by his feet as he stood up, "And don't make me hunt you down in the girls' bathroom again. I don't fancy getting caught there."

There was still a light twang in her that she could not ignore. It was the truth that bugged her. Nobody could break the chains binding Sora and Kairi together, especially not she, the newcomer among them all. There was no way she could barge into Sora's life just like that. There was no reason for her to either. She was supposed to be happy for her friends. What had she been expecting anyway?

The first warning bell rang as she followed Riku towards the doors. He stopped them just outside of the library entrance as he turned around to face her again.

"I know how much it hurts to like somebody from a distance, only to find out that they're not for you." He countered her thoughts, not letting her interrupt him, "You have to guard your heart well. It's what keeps you sane – and it's what can make you go insane. If you need to talk, you know I'll be around. Take care, Namine."

As she watched him leave, Namine could not help but continue to stare after him. She waited, until he left her sight. She waited, even as other students started to walk by her into the library. She did not leave until the final warning bell rang.

Today, she would not be spending her free period with Selphie. She would be spending it alone.

………

Namine walked out from under the shadowy awning, leaving the dark stairs behind her. Her heart felt like water. Heavy as it dredged up the unwanted thoughts from the bottom of her chest. Its horrible sloshing tilted her emotions from side to side. If she didn't know any better, she may have suspected that she was coming down with a fit of insanity. She believed she was a strong person, but there were times when she felt very helpless. Despite the many experiences in her short life that should have prepared her heart from breaking so easily, she still felt something in her breaking now.

Then again, this sort of heartbreak was unlike the others. Losing her father was still the most devastating, but this one hurt in a different way. It was steadily growing more frustrating by the day. Some of the things she wanted, she could not have. Some of the things she had, she did not want to have.

Namine pinched her cheek, only feeling satisfied until the slight pain broke her chain of thoughts temporarily. She would not think like a spoiled brat. She still had a family even if her father was not there. She had found friends that weren't ghosts for the first time in her life. In general, she was well off – she did not have to worry about food or shelter. She was not even handicapped in any way. She was smart and did well at school. She even had an art talent that very few people had.

Namine moved into a corner of the roof, the one corner that was hidden away from the awning, just in case anyone decided to intrude on her peace. After propping her bag against the wall, she settled on hugging her knees and enjoying the feeling of the cold autumn breeze rifling caresses through her long blonde hair. Her sullen thoughts were beginning to tread harder against the barriers she had built up. Namine squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her face hard against her knees.

Though the sky was a painted blue and only mildly cloudy, the sun did not hide long behind the moving clouds. She shivered in the autumn calm, feeling her body tremble. No matter how hard she hugged her knees to herself, she couldn't feel the comfort she needed, nor the oblivion she wanted.

"Someone, anyone," she pleaded under her breath, "Won't anything work out with me anymore?"

"How about the incident yesterday? If that didn't work out the way it did, the police would still be scraping you up off the sidewalks," a voice offered.

Namine looked up slowly, "Roxas?"

"The one and only," Roxas told her. His sky-blue eyes stared at her curiously, "Were you crying?"

Namine started, and felt the corners of her eyes for tears. To her embarrassment, there were still traces of tears there that she did not even notice. She frowned. She hardly shed a tear since her father's funeral. Even before then, she had never cried so much at all, except for the time when she lost a dear friend.

And now, she resembled a broken fountain, spouting buckets at a time it seemed. Maybe she should call for a plumber.

Namine massaged her temples after brushing away the stray tears. She asked him, "Is it amusing?"

"What's amusing?"

"Seeing me cry," Namine chuckled dryly, "Even I think it's slightly amusing."

Roxas sat down beside her. "It's not that fun watching someone who's hurt."

"Well, I'm not that hurt."

"I think you are," he insisted, "You're just afraid to admit it."

"If I was, you're not helping," Namine snapped. She struggled to control her temper. She still owed him for saving her life the day before. The least she could do was not argue with him, "Listen, I'm okay. I just needed some peace and quiet."

Roxas' eyes took on a bluer gleam, a taunting undertone seeping into his voice, "I don't believe you. If I had to guess, I would say you were having some boyfriend problems."

Namine counted to ten, slowly and evenly. She knew it was a trait of spirits to disregard people's emotions. Ghosts in particular, didn't know any better. She guessed that most had left those earth-bound feelings to rot somewhere deep inside them. Others would have completely developed a void over the years. Maybe Roxas was no different than those other ghosts.

She swallowed the lump choking her. "_Listen_. I'm fine. Just please stop teasing me, and leave me alone."

Roxas stayed quiet, possibly noticing that he had touched a nerve somewhere. His face revealed nothing from his thoughts, but his eyes still appeared brighter than they normally were, the corner of his mouth curled into a half smile. Namine felt a bitter taste on the back of her tongue, making it even harder for her to swallow.

Riku was right about the heart's double-edged power. The ledge of the roof looked very tempting now. But what was she thinking? Was she really going insane? Namine stood up, walking away from the corner she had occupied, away from Roxas. Once she was several feet away from him, she leaned heavily against the railing, letting half of herself dangle in thin air as she looked up at the wide, wide sky. It looked like such a clean slate – a place for starting over.

If she could fly, she'd fly away right now. If she could fly, she would go find her father in the stars somewhere. Maybe then, she could find something better to do than worrying over things that she could not help.

"If you fall off again, you know I won't be able to save you on my own," Roxas said, standing directly behind her. She had not even noticed him move.

But Namine did not care to look at him as she asked, "Can ghosts fly, Roxas?"

He was silent, digging his stare deep into the back of her head – she could feel it. But he finally answered her after a moment of quietly gauging her silent reaction, "Are you asking if I can fly?"

He probably thought she was suicidal by now.

"I meant in general," Namine told him patiently.

"It's not that easy."

Roxas found a spot beside her, and looked up into the sky with her too. "You can think of your world as a plane of existence. At the same time, there is a world overlapping it, making that a second existence. For you to see me and," he briefly touched a warm finger to her cheek, "To be able to touch me, you most likely exist in both places at once."

He looked away from her again and sighed, "But I suspect you already know that. What you would not completely understand is how hard I have to concentrate to stay in one place, like right now. It's natural to imagine standing on something flat and solid. However, if I really want to, I can walk on air."

Namine watched him close his blue eyes. After a moment, she saw him lift a foot up to step into the air. In awe, she watched how he levered himself a foot or so off the concrete. He continued to step up, as if he was climbing up an invisible staircase. Once he was well above her head, he walked back and forth, around in a circle once to prove his point. Then he leapt up and dropped down from above.

But instead of landing onto the concrete surface before her, he disappeared completely through the ground. Namine moved away from the roof's ledge and walked to the spot he disappeared through, looking to see if he was hiding from her. But she could not find him anywhere. The sunlight was blinding and the birds in the trees below were chirping loudly, yet she felt cold as the silence ringing in her ears pressed in on her.

Namine stopped looking for him, standing still. Could there be more planes of existence out there? Maybe she could only exist and interact in two places at once, but there were possibly more existences out there that not even she could see. Perhaps she was only seeing a portion of the actual spirits she passed on street, in the school, at home.

What if her father was still there? Maybe she just could not see him.

Her heart pounded in excitement, but Namine forced herself to calm down. It was possible, yet she knew that once a person was gone, they could not come back. Hadn't she said so herself the day before? She had practically thrown that fact into Hayner's face and stomped it into his ego.

She turned around and took a startled step back.

Roxas stood casually in front of her, too close to her. He had a smug look on his face as he spoke again, his voice cutting through the silence as if it were a knife cutting through butter, "Like I said, you could call it flying, but I call it walking."

Namine crossed her arms behind her, refusing to back down anymore than she already did.

"I wish I could walk like you then," she whispered after a quiet moment.

"Why?" Roxas sounding incredulous, "Are you saying you wish you were dead?"

"No," Namine said simply, "I just want to find my father and a friend. I owe it to them." She stared back evenly at him to make her point.

Roxas gave her a look that made her feel like a condescended child. He shrugged and looked back up into the sky again when she refused to take any offense, "Are they up there?"

"I don't know, but they probably are," she added, "Maybe that's why they never came back."

The two of them were silent as they let their gazes travel to the Twilight Bell Tower in the distance, and beyond.

"Roxas?"

"What?" he asked without looking at her.

"Can I…" Namine began hesitantly, "Can you give me a hug?"

He looked disbelievingly back down at her, his blue eyes startled and questioning. He probably did not expect her to ask for his compassion, after acting so coarse towards her. But she stood before him, nervously biting her chapped lip, and unable to look him in the eye. She snuck a peek up at him, catching his surprisingly soft gaze for just a second before she looked away again. But nothing happened.

Namine turned away and was about to high tail it towards the staircase when his arms pinned her back against him. She stumbled a little, but he did not let her fall. Time seemed to freeze as he turned her around to face him properly. She could not feel the cool autumn breeze on her face anymore, but instead, she could feel the warm, exposed skin where the missing button of his shirt was supposed to be.

He sighed against her shoulder, and patted the small of her back. Namine finally closed her eyes and lifted her once immobile arms to hug him back. Thinking back to the recent past, she wondered why she had never asked anyone to hug her.

She had hugged her mother, her brother – but those hugs lacked the feeling of satisfaction she felt in Roxas' arms. Before, she had thought of hugs as unnecessary, and even a little childish. She felt guilty every time she hugged her mother or brother. She was afraid of feeling guilty if she ever hugged any one else. She did not deserve sympathy for the terrible things she did.

And yet she let Roxas hold her, hug her. She had been the one who had asked for it too. And for once, she did not feel guilty, nor did she think of it as unnecessary. Now, she needed this. She needed someone to let her know that she was not alone. It was necessary to listen to the slow and gentle strum of his heart.

She needed his warmth.

Most of all, she needed to stop feeling the winters of her past.

"Roxas," she mumbled quietly, but did not release him, "I can hear your heart beating."

"Ghosts don't have hearts," he answered.

Namine felt too relaxed to entirely grasp what he just said. Her breath was soft and light against his ear, "That's what I thought too."

Her last words were slightly slurred, as if she was drunk. But the phantom scent, his scent, was mesmerizing her. It did not smell like cologne or anything strong and pungent. The image of a warm, open field came into her mind, mixed with the memory of sea breeze. She could imagine a cliff by the ocean – green grass stretching away on one end and sea blue water reaching away on the other – everything shared underneath a clear, summer sky. If anything could compare with the smell, it would be the fresh, intoxicating scent of clean laundry.

"Namine," Roxas pulled away from her, "Are you all right?"

Namine nodded her head dazedly, trying to remember the soothing image. She could not understand what had just happened. Nothing like that had ever happened to her before.

Just then, her knees gave away as she promptly fell asleep. She did not remember falling at all.

………

"Namine…"

Namine groaned, hearing a faint ringing somewhere. Not recognizing either the voice or the sound immediately, she simply snuggled closer into the warmth of her quilted covers. The voice was louder this time as someone shook her gently by the shoulder.

"Namine…"

Now who was the only insistent male voice that she had known all her life? It had to be her brother.

"Go away. Five more minutes…" Namine grumbled sleepily trying to get comfortable again.

The insistent poking continued, "But you'll be late for class."

"You better stop that, Hayner…" Namine threatened as she turned over to the over side, reaching a hand down for her quilt. Somehow, she must have kicked it off in the middle of the night because the lower half of her body was freezing. On the other hand, her face felt like she had been sleeping on warm laundry, fresh out of the dryer. She had to thank her mother later.

The voice tried again, "But –!"

"I'll tell mom about your Barney boxers. And don't think I didn't see those Astro Boy ones on the floor last week when I saved them from getting destroyed. You're lucky I shut the vacuum off as quickly as I did," Namine threatened, growing frustrated when she couldn't find her covers.

"You have to be kidding me," the amused voice told her.

Namine frowned and rolled onto her back. She squinted against the bright sunlight, her gray-blue eyes blearily blinking the sleep out of them. Above her, she saw someone's face loom into view, blocking the sun. A bright crown of yellow light surrounded his hair and shadowed face like a halo, making her think that she had suddenly woke up in heaven. But his bluer-than-blue eyes struck her as familiar.

Her body drained cold as all the heat rushed up to her face. "Sora!"

Namine pinched her face to make sure she was not dreaming this time, and shook her head vigorously. In all her short life, she could not remember being so flustered. As watched him laugh, a sequence of memories began to dawn on her. Wasn't Roxas just there a second ago?

The thoughts in her mind began to click together again.

Roxas_ had_ been there. Of that, she was very certain. She remembered that he hugged her when she was feeling terribly alone and confused with herself. She was the one who asked him to too! Everything else seemed to melt into a great big puddle before and after that though. She could not remember exactly what they had talked about. She knew that she – she fell asleep?

Namine clapped a hand over her eyes in embarrassment. "Shoot me now."

"Hey, it's not that bad," Sora said, "But is it true that Hayner has an affinity for kiddies' boxers?"

"That is something you should not know," she grumbled, easing herself off of his lap, "Sorry for using you as a pillow. I hope your legs have not gone numb."

Sora waved away her apology, "Don't worry. I haven't been here too long. But you may want to hurry up if you don't want to miss any more classes."

"What?" Namine checked her watch and deadpanned, "No way! I slept through Calc?"

He nodded, "Yeah, you missed seventh period math with me, so I asked around to see if anybody knew where you went. When nobody did, I figured that you'd be up here again. I just did not expect that you would be sleeping."

Namine mentally hit her head with a sledgehammer as she picked up her school bag and stood up with Sora's help. Her legs were still cold and tingly, but it was nothing she could not manage. She grinned at Sora, "Thanks for keeping me company." Her smile slipped a little when Riku's words came back in mind.

_Sora and Kairi have been best friends since they were kids – one couldn't be without the other. They were closer to each other than to the rest of us. It's as if they are linked in a manner that can't be broken._

"You okay, Namine?" Sora asked, noticing her spaced expression.

_Just don't get hurt._

Namine nodded quickly, "Yeah, I'm fine. You really didn't have to wait for me though."

Sora just shrugged, his lopsided smile gracing his lips again, "It's no problem. I wanted to."

Namine wished that he'd just realize what he was doing to her, so he could stop. But she highly doubted that Sora held any kind of that intuition. In this case, he was very dense, as were most boys his age. He would never know her feelings, nor would he have to, she told herself. She would deal with them by herself.

"I'll see you later, Sora," she said, trying to suppress her thoughts.

"At four?" Sora reminded her.

"At four," Namine assured him, just as the first warning bell rang through the cold air between them.

She left after seeing the corners of his mouth pull up into his infamous grin. She did not trust herself that moment, afraid she would do something she would regret – like crying again for the billionth time that day.

………

………

………

………

A/N: Namine's not a fickle girl, but she can't help how her feelings show. This story is definitely NaminexRoxas – don't get that wrong! There are several one-sided romances along the way though. Anyhow… In the next chapter, you will find out more about Roxas' unknown background. It's about time to finally learn what you're all dying to know. ;P

My personal thanks to Chapter 5 reviewers: Isabella Swan , DarkSanctuary59 , estrellaz , timekeeper1824 , Nami-Chan -LovesRoxas- , kingdomheartsluver , snowyleopard , hoopla37 , hotaru89 , Kittenkid77 , CerberAsta , KhanomAna , Karin Ochibi-chan , X-The Random Vampire-X , Max606 , and mangaXfreak . _**Much love to you all!**_ ♥

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_Describe your first love._

………

_**My Answer:**_

_My first love was… my skateboard. I can remember it right now – it had ninja turtle stickers plastered over the underside of the deck. It was my friend's old one, but he gave it to me so that I could go skateboarding with him and the other guys in my neighborhood (I was the only girl.) I was very bad at it at first, but my friend came over every day so he could teach me. Later on, I learned to grind the curbs better than any of them, and fashioned my own tricks. But that was all before I almost got run over by a car while skateboarding on the streets. I don't know what happened to my skateboard after that since my mother confiscated it when she found out. To this day, I still don't where it is._

_And yes, I still cry over my loss. I know, it's a very sad story. Boo hoo. T…T_

………

………

………


	7. A Beautiful Voice

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 7: A Beautiful Voice

………

A/N: I had some extra time this week and decided to work on this a bit. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving this year. Which reminds me – I'd like to thank my reviewers! I'm very grateful for your support, and I hope you will keep supporting me as I continue and eventually finish this story. :)

………

………

_Previous Chapter:_

_Namine mentally hit her head with a sledgehammer as she picked up her school bag and stood up with Sora's help. Her legs were still cold and tingly, but it was nothing she could not manage. She grinned at Sora, "Thanks for keeping me company." Her smile slipped a little when Riku's words came back in mind._

**Sora and Kairi have been best friends since they were kids – one couldn't be without the other. They were closer to each other than to the rest of us. It's as if they are linked in a manner that can't be broken.**

"_You okay, Namine?" Sora asked, noticing her spaced expression._

**Just don't get hurt.**

_Namine nodded quickly, "Yeah, I'm fine. You really didn't have to wait for me though."_

_Sora just shrugged, his lopsided smile gracing his lips again, "It's no problem. I wanted to."_

_Namine wished that he'd just realize what he was doing to her, so he could stop. But she highly doubted that Sora held any kind of that intuition. In this case, he was very dense, as were most boys his age. He would never know her feelings, nor would he have to, she told herself. She would deal with them by herself._

"_I'll see you later, Sora," she said, trying to suppress her thoughts._

"_At four?" Sora reminded her._

"_At four," Namine assured him, just as the first warning bell rang through the cold air between them._

_She left after seeing the corners of his mouth pull up into his infamous grin. She did not trust herself that moment, afraid she would do something she would regret – like crying again for the billionth time that day._

………

………

Namine checked her watch for the hundredth time that evening. School let out at two-thirty; the end of the school day signaling a release of stray butterflies inside her stomach. It was now twenty to four, and she had already walked the entire school out of pure boredom after all of her friends left to enjoy their Friday night out.

Hayner had gone with Riku and Pence. He did not tell her where as he rushed by her locker at the end of the day, but he did ask her to make up some kind of excuse for their mother if Namine got home earlier than him. The four girls were supposed to go to the mall out of tradition, but Selphie had let them know that she was busy. Of course, Namine had her own plans already too, but she was worried that Selphie was a little angry with her for ditching their free period together. Olette later relieved Namine with the fact that Selphie only left without explaining too much because Irvine was taking her out for a movie.

It was hard convincing Olette and Kairi that she was going somewhere else already. Both of them though she was trying to sneak out with some secret sweetheart. Namine had a very hard time convincing them otherwise – partially because their theory was not entirely wrong.

Namine closed the side door of the school behind her. She had also just come back from visiting the roof for the last time that day. If things went as she hoped, she would have liked to talk to Roxas again. But even in the sight of the twilight sun, she had not caught even the slightest glimmer of him at all, nor did he appear when she called his name. The roof had never seemed so lonely and silent as it was then, with just the wind whistling in her hair.

Quietly in the evening atmosphere, Namine made her way towards the stone steps before the high school's entrance. She sat down on the middle step so she could bask in the left over sun, as well as keep an eye on the school gate for a certain brunette.

As she waited, she thought back to Roxas. Why hadn't he come to the roof when she was looking for him? Maybe she had scared him away somehow. After all, she recalled acting like a ditzy drunkard before she fell asleep in his arms. Maybe he thought she was weird, and was disgusted with her? It wouldn't surprise her. He possessed the air of an aristocrat. That possibility would not be surprising either, as Twilight High was an elite private high school for the Riche or Nouveau Riche, well-off middle class, and academic geniuses.

She was neither super rich nor super smart – her mother wasn't a famous doctor, an accomplished businesswoman, or anything like that. Her mother had always been a simple accountant for small companies. Before her father died, he was a quaint weather forecaster. Together, her parents' income had provided a comfortable living for a family of four. Recently though, Namine heard her mother speaking to her unknown aunt on the phone about schooling tuition. It cleared up some mysteries about her family. At least someone in their family had connections to big money. Someone had obviously wanted she and Hayner to go to Twilight High, but for what? Why Twilight High in particular?

She needed to shut her analytical brain up.

After all her meandering thoughts, Namine came to a tentative conclusion about Roxas. They guy seemed to act as if everything was beneath him, including her sometimes. He had to be some rich kid from some rich family. Maybe she could figure out which family he came from. It narrowed her search. That was a good start.

But then, she could have been jumping the gun again. She did that a lot when she was frustrated, waiting in the cold, all by herself… Maybe Sora was standing her up?

Namine growled at herself as she paced a ditch into the bottom stair. She would see both of them sooner or later – Sora sooner, and Roxas later. Thinking to herself all the time now was proving to be quite detrimental to her rational train of thought. She seemed to be doing too much of it lately that even her head hurt from doing so. The closest she could describe it as, was a self-inflicted headache.

Suddenly, a figure beyond the gate poked his head past one of the stone structures. Upon closer inspection, Namine recognized Sora's spiky brown hair and the familiar wave of his hand. Shouldering her bag and making sure that the hanging laces of her roller blades were knotted securely in her hands, Namine stood and walked towards the gate just as Sora walked towards her.

They met at the midpoint of the courtyard. He was smiling, a dimpled grin splitting his handsome features, and she was blushing, the pressed line of her mouth belying her shyness.

Sora greeted her first, "Hey, I didn't know you'd be here earlier than me."

Namine gave him a tense smile, "Well, you couldn't expect me to wait patiently."

Sora arched a bronze eyebrow in questions, his parted to ask her, "And why's that?"

She only shook her head quietly, adding a little shrug as her tight smile relaxed briefly. He'd never guess, and he would never know. It was not necessary for him to know. She was about to say 'never mind' but the words died on her lips when she looked up to face him.

In the setting sun, the molten shimmering strands of his hair seemed to turn golden, his sky blues eyes bright as he stared back curiously at her. It was déjà vu all over, as if she was seeing somebody else entirely.

His lips were so soft, so touchable if she could just reach out a finger to feel them. He was so close that if she stood on her tiptoes and let her hands sweep into his golden hair; she could draw him in easily and touch her lips to his. She was so close; she could almost imagine his soft, yearning lips prying gently over her skin as his blonde hair tickled her face. She could even imagine his pearly white teeth clicking against hers in the forceful, passionate kisses that would follow.

Namine blinked, snapping out of her reverie. Sora seemed to become his normal self again, and it became easier to resist him as he moved out of the sun's direction. Now that he was not quite so close anymore, she could finally tear her eyes away from him, though she was unable to stop imagining the longing, stardust-blue eyes haunting her imagination. For a second, her breathing seemed to sound louder than usual. She was horrified by such thoughts, such possibilities, and the terrible outcomes they could bring.

Sora asked her, showing deep concern on his face, "You haven't been feeling well lately have you?"

Namine sidestepped his question, "You just look so much like him, Sora. It's nothing."

"Like who?" Sora asked cautiously, his eyes suddenly guarded.

Namine cursed herself after hearing the rapid change in his voice. Didn't Riku just tell her that same day about how she should not bring up Roxas in front of Sora? She pressed her mouth into a small nervous line again, gnawing her bottom lip as she gauged his face to devise the best way to answer him. But Sora was not letting her slip by so easily.

He repeated, "Like who, Namine?"

Namine froze, unable to meet Sora's story gaze. She averted her eyes to stare at her loafers instead as she mumbled, "Like him. Like Roxas."

Sora was quiet, and Namine felt even more uncomfortable jut then. She turned back to look at him, "Look, we should get going or…"

But Sora's eyes stopped her cold. They were distant, and hurt. Namine did not know what to make of his expression. He was in pain, that much was obvious – and she was the one who hurt him by even mentioning Roxas. She just had to push it, didn't she? Namine couldn't have despised herself more. She knew that look. It was an expression of guilt – something that she had always worn when she thought of her own past.

"Namine," Sora uttered her name quietly.

Namine bobbed her head down to show that she was listening. Her throat was tightening so much, that she could not even trust herself to speak.

"How_can_ you know Roxas?" he asked.

It was Namine's turn to feel hurt, knowing Sora was probably on a roll with his doubts. She was telling the truth though – why couldn't people just accept her, even if they could not believe her?

She answered him softly, "He's there. He just is."

She heard Sora sigh, before feeling him tap her arm lightly, "Come on. Let's go or else we'll be late."

Namine trailed down the walkway beside him, careful to keep up without slowing him down, even while she stared down at her feet. Her silence probably made Sora uncomfortable. He tried to bring up something safe to talk about, "You know… I saw you sitting up there on the roof today, all by yourself."

Namine peeked up at him, but found that she couldn't hold his inquiring gaze for long. She nodded again to show her attention.

Sora smiled sheepishly at her, "Well, I wondered why you took off so suddenly. I was worried that you were mad or something," he cleared his throat when she did not answer him, "Um… Were you mad?"

"Kind of," Namine finally replied, settling on only the half-truth, "But I was mad at myself."

"For what?" Sora asked her, genuinely puzzled.

Namine shook her head, "It's nothing much. I had some time to get over it."

"Did you get over it then?" he questioned gently.

Namine's lips lifted ambiguously, "I think so, or rather I hope so."

A good thing that Sora possessed was his sensitivity to subjects that should be avoided, and knowing how to let it go. He did not push her into telling him anything further. It wasn't that Namine would have told him, even if he asked, but she was not someone who liked to be goaded into spilling out her thoughts. She was not very expressive when it came to her feelings.

Sora made up for his earlier queries by telling some new jokes and funny stories – managing to somehow bring out a smile back onto her face once again.

………

Every time Namine asked where they were going, Sora would just ask her to guess. Of course, he added, she probably would never get it right.

And he was right.

Sora had led her into a back alley on a steep street. The narrow opening nestled between the Tram Common and Station Heights. Her steps were hesitant as she stepped uncertainly over the uneven stone stairs, but Sora held her hand firmly, keeping her from toppling over. Walking down the stone-paved pathway, Sora brought them before a tall fence. The chain was hanging idly through the woven black wires, showing that somebody, or perhaps some bodies were already there. She could already hear faint voices coming from inside, though she could not identify them.

"Where are we?" she asked Sora, looking around. She was hesitant about entering a place she was not familiar with.

Sora was a step before her and turned to answer her proudly, "It's our hang-out."

"Our?"

Sora gave her a cheeky grin, "Don't worry so much, Namine. Did you think I was going to feed you to the dogs or something?"

Namine stared at him hard, but she trusted him. Besides, she did not get a bad feeling about the place – and in cases like these, she always trusted her gut. And her gut gave her the thumbs up.

Sora waited for her to move past the fence and took her hand again. She paused to listen to the voices inside, suddenly recognizing a voice that stood out above all others. It was light, sporting a very boyish and open tone. The voice sounded completely alien to what she was so used to hearing, even if she could recognize it.

"Roxas?" she asked timidly, speeding up her pace and letting go of Sora's hand.

How was he here? Her heart pounded in her ears. Was that why he hadn't met her on the roof after school?

She could sense Sora's questioning gaze, but she merely ignored it as she ran up to the red curtain serving as the entrance. She could definitely confirm Roxas voice, even his alien laugh at some joke some else said. She swung the cloth away and headed inside.

"Roxas!" Namine skidded to a halt. To her big surprise, Roxas was nowhere in sight. He hadn't been there at all in the first place.

Instead, Riku, Hayner, Pence, Tidus, and Wakka stared back at her when her eyes fell on them. Her audience had turned away from the large T.V. screen on the other side of the room. Namine looked past them to stare at the T.V., the source of the bodiless voices.

On the wide flat screen, she could see Roxas and the rest of their group, including Olette, Selphie, and Kairi, but excluding Pence. Her plump friend was probably the one filming, Namine decided. They appeared to be in somebody's living room, laughing and talking as if there was no tomorrow.

She watched the tape silently as it rolled. Nobody spoke up to draw her attention away.

"–_Damn it, Roxas! You can dance, sing, skate, fight – and still do good in school… What are you, man? Yevon?"_ the camera zoomed in on Tidus' laughing face. He appeared younger, more rambunctious than he was in the present.

A younger Wakka caught the attention of the camera now as he whacked Tidus over the head, huffing, _"Brudda, it's rude comparing Yevon to any mortal."_

Tidus rubbed his head on the screen, wincing as he sat down on a black leather sofa. The others chuckled as the screen zoomed out again to capture all of their smiling faces. Selphie's giddy voice took on the tone of an obnoxious English teacher, _"That's bad grammar, young man. People don't 'do good,' they 'do well.' Really, Tidus Copperfield! I thought you would know better."_ She patted him lightly on the head.

Tidus just stuck his tongue out at her and attempted to lick her hand, making her squeal and jump away. All of the occupants on the plasma screen roared into a fit of laughter as Tidus chased Selphie around the room.

"_You guys did an awesome job today before the blitz game. I hadn't expected them to ask you to play a few songs. Are you going to become an official boy band any time soon?"_ Kairi asked hopefully.

Namine had to do a double take. Her friend had her hair cropped boyishly short above the shoulders – totally unlike the feminine Kairi that she saw in the present day. But before her mouth could gap over the difference, Olette's voice chirped in_, "Yeah, because we all know how much Kairi loves boy candy! I'll bet that her Backstreet Boys' posters are still hung up underneath all of her Gakt pictures."_

Namine stopped paying attention to the screen as she zoned out, though her eyes did not leave the surface of the screen. She could feel her hands tingling as her blood ran cold. After all, she got the message. Everyone was a lot more carefree back then, and obviously something happened along the way to change all of that. The people she knew now were only the echoes of who they used to be – insincere about the truth. Maybe they even went as far as faking their friendship with her.

Who was she kidding? Real friends? It was so obvious to her now. They would never open up to her, or even to Hayner. They would only be their real selves when the two of them were out of the picture.

Whatever they were hiding revolved around this "accident" concerning Roxas' disappearance from their lives, Sora's guilt, and their ambiguity about everything. She would never know. She should never know. All she would _ever_ know is that her friends weren't really her friends, and that she was better off crawling back into the black hole that she had dug for herself long ago.

Namine clenched her fists, her frozen hands tightening around the laces of her roller blades.

Riku reached over to the screen and turned it off, making everybody's happy faces blink into nothing. He watched her carefully before attempting to get her attention, "It's nice of you to join us, Namine."

Namine nodded bleakly at him, as Sora approached from behind, "Kairi, Olette, and Selphie would have come here too if they didn't already have plans for tonight."

"Namine!" Hayner hopped out of his seat on the green couch, "So this was where Sora was taking you for your secret date?" Trust him to say the most embarrassing things and causing everyone to stare. She sighed quietly and reached up with a cold hand, grabbing her twin painfully by his ear, "For the last time, Hayner – _this isn't a date!_"

"Ow! Hey, I heard you loud and clear. You can let go of the ear now!" Hayner complained as he struggled to stay still, knowing quite well that fighting her would only end up with him losing his ear rather than gaining it back.

She did not feel like badgering with him while other people were around. Namine's face remained bitterly impassive as she let go of him suddenly. He jumped away quickly, cradling his throbbing ear.

"Sora, why did you want to show me this place?" Namine faked a smile, as a sick feeling dug a pit in the bottom of her stomach. She was hoping that it was not just some sick joke, though she was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt for now.

Sora looked at her carefully, before answering her slowly, "We wanted to know for sure that… it was really Roxas you were seeing."

"We?" Namine questioned, the feeling of betrayal any hope she had left.

"Everyone," Wakka finally spoke up, "The gang wanted to know for sure, ya?"

He might as well have punched her in the stomach, and shoved a club down her throat. To say the least, his words did not make her feel any better. They only made her feel even more out-casted, and stupid for thinking she had finally belonged somewhere. Namine lowered her face so that she was staring harshly into the ground, her blonde hair shielding her expression from them. She swallowed.

"For sure? You mean you wanted to _make sure_ that I was a freak, right?" She snapped at the floor, her voice pitching higher, "Well guess what? You got me. I'm a freak, and I never could hide it. Even my own _brother_ thinks so too." She lifted her impassive face once more as her voice went deathly cold, biting and chill. When nobody knew how to counter her, her lethal voice carried on, "I knew it. It was too good to be true, and yet I believed… I thought that I could be normal."

"Nobody is normal," Riku said softly, but with an edge of reprimand, "You are who you are."

"So you're saying that I won't ever be accepted. Isn't that what you were trying to tell me earlier?" Namine added swiftly, her cold eyes never faltering as she glared right back at him.

Tidus waved his hands fervently, "I don't know what Riku said to you, but I don't think he would ever mean that! You're one of us. We'd never think otherwise."

Pence agreed, his big brown eyes looked hurt and upset, "Yeah, it doesn't matter what's going on. We still consider you our friend."

Namine stepped back away from them and their lies. She shrugged as she turned to leave, speaking unemotionally into the suffocating air, "But you were testing me like some lab rat. You played the tape just as Sora and I came in. You guys just wanted to see how I would react to Roxas' voice weren't you –"

"That's not it, Namine!" Hayner barked, trying to stop her from leaving, "You got it all wrong. The guys just wanted me to join the band. They were showing me some old videos, that's all. What you saw was only a party after one of their performances!"

"What are you talking about" Namine asked without turning around to face them, her voice cold and unconvinced.

Sora put a warm palm on her shoulder, making her want to tear away from him and give him a sharp slap to the face. She coldly shook his hand off, but only turned around to face him and folded her arms defensively. She would not cave into violence, no matter what. She would try to be civil, even though she felt herself shaking with suppressed rage.

Sora ran a hand through his brown hair and explained, "This is definitely not how I thought the meeting would start out like. I took you here to listen to some of the songs Roxas sang in the past, before… the accident. See for yourself." He grabbed the discarded remote controller on the green couch. He pressed a button and the stereo in the corner blinked on. Sora chose a track number and let it play once he selected it.

Namine felt Riku pull her onto the couch so she could sit beside him as she listened to the spunky guitar solo in the beginning. She sat rigidly, but she waited. Slowly, she sank into the music, listening to Roxas' attractive singing voice. She could have never imagined this side of him. Roxas would probably never guess either, the way he was now in the present.

"_I don't want another pretty face, _

_I don't want just anyone to hold, _

_I don't want my love to got to waste,_

_I want you and your beautiful soul."_

Namine suppressed a shudder, as the song chased away the cold sensations prickling her hands.

"_I know that you are someone special._

_To you, I'd be always faithful._

_I want to be what you always needed._

_Then I hope you'll see the heart in me…"_

Namine didn't have to understand the lyrics of the song to know that it was a very good song. But it was Roxas' heart that truly caught her off guard. Could this warm and youthful voice really belong to him? Namine knew that it was a stupid question to even think of. Yet there were so many more stupid questions she was thinking about that were probing her mind. She did not immediately realize why she was thinking of such questions.

But when she did, she was not too surprised since the answer was there all along. The Roxas she knew and the Roxas she had just witnessed and was listening to now were the same, despite the significant differences. He was like a myriad of colors in the rainbow – changing if he so wished depending on the depth of the clouds, and the brightness of the sun.

The Roxas she knew was still the same person, even if he only showed a single facet – a single dark color. But she was someone who could reach out to him, and possibly bring out the rainbow in him again if she tried. She wanted to see this warm, energetic side of him, and not just that cold, aloof boy whom she first saw leaning against the school wall on her first day. He may not remember what a sweet person he once was, but the instant he had grabbed her hand and saved her from falling to her death the day before, she knew that somewhere in him was a candlelight that could never blow out.

The song ended, carrying his beautiful voice far away. Sora then pressed the power button again, leaning back once the stereo had turned off. He replaced the controller in its rightful place on the coffee table. The click of plastic on wood was the only sound as everyone waited with baited breath, gauging Namine's reaction.

The warm and tingly feelings she felt while listening to Roxas' song faded as she stood. Namine could feel the muscles at the corners of her mouth tense again while she bit the inside of her cheek.

Her blue eyes grew hard again as she watched them, her voice still sharp, "That is Roxas' voice. But whatever happened to him, he's changed." She stood up, wrapping the laces of her roller blades around her hand as she strolled quickly towards the red curtain.

But Sora stopped her by grabbing her hand as she passed him, "Wait."

She stared at him intensely, not backing down. He worked his jaw and spoke hesitantly, as his blue eyes darted uncertainly to her stiff face, "Wait. You said he's changed. How has he changed?"

Namine ran her free hand through her long blonde hair, shaking out the tangles. She sighed, "There is something making very sad. It's like he's forgotten how to smile and laugh." Her glare returned, "Of course, I actually care about what's happening to him. I believe he's hurting because he's missing his past – so I'm going to try and help him, even if you won't."

"How?" Riku assessed her gently.

Namine pulled her hand out of Sora's grasp and looked directly at Riku. She assured him coolly, "I'll find a way. I _will_ help him, no matter what – even if that means helping him remember."

Everyone was silent as she prepared to leave. But before she pulled the red curtain out of her way, Namine turned her head towards Hayner.

"If you get home before me and catch mom, please tell her that I should be back before sundown."

And then she was gone, heading for Sunrise Boulevard.

………

………

………

………

A/N: Namine's getting very touchy, isn't she? I'm pretty sure you guys can sympathize with her though. Ever have a time when nobody believes you're saying the truth when you're actually saying the truth? It's quite frustrating.

Anyway, there will be more action in the next couple of chapters. Of that, I can assure you. ;) Also, the song is "Beautiful Soul" sung by Jesse McCartney - who is Roxas' voice over in the English version of KH2.

My personal thanks to Chapter 6 reviewers: Nami-Chan -LovesRoxas- , AquaFlameElementalist , Tater Tots , estrellaz , KhanomAna , CerberAsta , Isabella Swan , hoopla37 , Karin Ochibi-chan , HeartFlare05 , VaniVan , hotaru89 , Flower of the Desert , timekeeper1824 , Malcolm Yuy , and PrincessKeira.

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_What holidays do you celebrate?_

………

_**My Answer:**_

_Well… we celebrate Christmas, New Year's, and Thanksgiving. But we also celebrate Lunar New Year's, Mid-Autumn Festival, and various other holidays from my heritage. Christmas is tradition, but also because my mom's a Christian. My dad is agnostic and my brother's atheist. Me? I'm hanging akimbo, and bordering on nature-freak. I don't think you can really call me anything. But I'll enjoy almost any holiday that I think is worth celebrating. :)_

………

………

………


	8. Silence Before the Storm

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 8: Silence Before the Storm

………

A/N: I feel like I believe that I'm on a roll with this story. Unfortunately, my fingers don't think so. It's bordering on winter, now that it's December. To put it clearly – it's freezing. Snow in autumn, ice on windowpanes, and temperatures reaching below zero with wind chill and rain! This is the time of year when I get frozen finger syndrome, you see. Anyway, please be patient with me as I plow along with both my story and the shovel outside my garage. :)

Enjoy, everyone!

………

………

_Previous Chapter:_

_The song ended, carrying his beautiful voice far away. Sora then pressed the power button again, leaning back once the stereo had turned off again. He replaced the controller in its rightful place on the coffee table. The click of plastic on wood was the only sound as everyone waited with baited breath, gauging Namine's reaction._

_The warm and tingly feelings she felt while listening to Roxas' song faded as she stood. Namine could feel the muscles at the corners of her mouth tense again while she bit the inside of her cheek._

_Her blue eyes grew hard again as she watched them, her voice still sharp, "Roxas doesn't sound like that anymore. Whatever happened to him, he's changed." She stood up, wrapping the laces of her roller blades around her hand as she strolled quickly to the red flap. _

_But Sora stopped her by grabbing her hand as she passed him, "Wait."_

_She stared at him intensely, not backing down. He worked his jaw and spoke hesitantly, as his blue eyes darted uncertainly to her stiff face, "Wait. You said he's changed. How has he changed?"_

_Namine ran her free hand through her long blonde hair, shaking out the tangles. She sighed, "There is something making very sad. It's like he's forgotten how to smile and laugh." Her glare returned, "Of course, I care that he's hurting so much. I believe that he's hurting because of his missing past – so I'm going to try and help him, even if you guys won't."_

"_How?" Riku assessed her gently._

_Namine pulled her hand out of Sora's grasp and looked directly at Riku. She assured him coolly, "I'll find a way. I will help him, no matter what – even if that means helping him remember."_

_Everyone was silent as she prepared to leave. But before she pulled the red curtain out of her way, Namine turned her head towards Hayner. _

"_If you get home before me and catch mom, please tell her that I'll be back before sundown."_

_And then she was gone, heading to Sunrise Boulevard._

………

………

Namine smelled the bluebells and forgot-me-nots in her hands as she strolled out of the end of day sale in the flower shop. Her mind idly wondered why she even wanted to go by _that_ place again. After all, Sunrise Boulevard was the place where _that_ accident took place. Standing on that street had reminded her of her father's bitterly painful absence in her life. His lost presence marred a guilty stain on her heart that she couldn't wash out, no matter how many tears she washed it with. But she had decided to accept it, even if she did not believe that it would ever come out.

Even if she wanted to back out, where would she leave the flowers? She didn't want to leave them at all. The forget-me-nots were for him, and she would deliver them.

The blue bells would be for whomever Sora had tended to. According to the flower shop lady, those flowers stood for humility and everlasting love. So who could have died there? Everlasting love… and a humble person? Could Sora have given flowers to a dead love? Maybe Kairi wasn't the only one that touched his heart. But who else was there?

It had to be another girl, Namine thought. So who was missing from the picture?

Or maybe she was just being so paranoid lately that she was slowly, but surely going insane. She could remember how she thought she wouldn't ever give a damn about high school relationships. They were mostly flings that barely lasted a few weeks; maybe even a few months if a couple was lucky. She had promised herself that she would save the trouble for college when she was more mature, and closer to the age of marriage.

That was the logical part of her thinking. The other part of her chimed in triumphantly, plaguing her mind. She could not manipulate her own feelings, and therefore they were free to feel whatever they liked. But maybe if she could keep lying to herself that she was as powerful as she thought she was – over and over again – maybe she could put her mind over matter.

Yes, that would be for the better.

Namine approached the train station and bought a ticket for the trip to the other side of town. There weren't many people around at six, even though it was only a little after rush hour.

The sun was nearly gone from the bloodstained skyline, so she could only guess that not many townspeople would want to stick around at the station after dark. She heard the holler of the train horn as it arrived moments later. It trudged and grumbled tiredly before it halted to a full stop along the tracks. Only two or so other people boarded along with her, but most of the closer seats were already taken.

Not wanting to sit in the far corner away from the door, Namine held onto a hand strap and felt her body lull back and forth with the momentum of the moving tram. She wanted to close her eyes, and possibly catch some shuteye even while she stood standing up on her sore feet. But the dying glint of sunlight flickering off the ocean outside the window caught her attention.

As the train rattled its way along the tracks of the sky bridge, Namine stared at the beautiful ocean. It looked green and foamy in the pale yellow light haloing the horizon, but there was a streak of sky blue where the golden lines met the ocean. She stared at the sky blue, thinking of the blue sky she had looked up into earlier that day with Roxas.

She wondered…

But the train turned around the bend, and the ocean disappeared from her view. She only saw a blur of murky colors, the blur of crowded buildings streaking past as the train lulled along. There were only a handful of stops before Namine had to get off. She stumbled a bit as the tram slowed and jerked bit by bit, the horn tooting its loud, baleful blare into the crisp evening air. Hurrying off the tram and into the lonely station, she passed an old lady and a little boy chasing his dog.

Autumn red light flooded the orange-stone steps as she pattered down them swiftly, often taking two steps at a time. She all but ran by the gardens surrounding the mirror-like waterfall, taking the shortcut through Sunset Hill to get to the boulevard. Her feet would not stop even as she labored her way up hill and panted her way down the other side.

She wanted to beat the dusky dark, even though the stars were beginning to peak out through the violet canvas above. Lucky for her, she did not have to worry about too many cars. She mostly walked through streets and commons reserved only for pedestrians.

After walking past the skate park, Namine found herself standing on Sunrise Boulevard and tried hard not to shiver. Remembering the blue bouquet in her hands, Namine approached quietly. She fell to her knees and huffed out visible puffs of white mist into the condensed, cold air.

She saw the last glimmer of the evening sun glitter over the silvery surface of the memorial. Clear water beads still clung to the lip, making fine wet trails down the rounded body like morning dew.

Carefully, Namine added her addition of flowers to Sora's bluebells from that same morning. She idly arranged them the best she could, but decided that something was missing in the arrangement.

Her eyes caught something white in the dark grass surrounding the lamppost. She had to squint to see the speckles of wild flowers growing in an erratic array around the memorial. Among them were several strokes of baby's breath, their innocent white color neutralizing the wild spray of flowers.

Quickly gathering a handful of baby's breath, Namine added them to the solid blue bouquet sprouting from the delicate vase. The light sprays of baby's breath dotted the blue, as the tiny blossoms nodding gently in the bleak, humid wind. When Namine looked up again, she could see thickening rain clouds, hiding the stars.

Twilight melted into night as Namine sped down the lamp lit streets towards home. But just as she neared her house, she felt a few cold drops of rain tap her head and shoulders. She looked up to see more freezing raindrops fall from the darkening black clouds, making fat circles wherever they landed. Seeing Hayner's light on in his room, Namine guessed he was home and quickly ran to the front door. She just hoped that her mother was not worried about her.

Namine shut the door quietly behind her, muffling the sound of pattering rain outside. The kitchen light wasn't on and their mother's shoes weren't by the door either, which could only mean that there would be no need to explain where she was that afternoon. Her mother was probably adding extra hours to impress her boss despite the bad weather conditions, Namine thought as she kicked off her school loafers. She shoved her skates into the closet and trekked her way to her bedroom to shed her uniform for something more comfortable.

After changing into a blue T-shirt and gray sweats, Namine made her way down the dark and narrow hall to her brother's room. She stepped quietly, a heavy feeling suddenly draping over her shoulders like an oversized shroud. The bad feeling rode on her nerves and she had to pause once or twice to make sure that she did not trip over her own feet. She kept feeling like something was amiss as a sick dread deepened the pit in her stomach.

Right now, she just needed someone with her, or at least until after the storm was over. Hayner had always been there for her since they were little, and she could not exempt him from her life no matter what. Even if their distance had increased over the few days, they could still sit and talk – maybe even build a pillow fort to hide from the storm like they used to. She rubbed her tired eyes, holding a hand to her mouth as she tried to chase away the sudden nausea.

She encouraged herself weakly. They could play cards the whole night like they used to, or beat up monsters on Hayner's computer… They could eat oreos and milk until their bellies hurt, and then fall asleep on the floor. He'd understand. Her brother would understand. Old traditions could never really die away.

The light of his bedroom pooled across her feet from the crack beneath the closed door. She knocked once and pushed her way into his room, "Hayner, I'm coming in… what?"

Hayner was sitting on his cushy chair before his desk, fiddling with the Jason mask in his hands. His hazelnut eyes had been focused on a figure sitting on his bed. Namine blinked, recognizing Olette immediately.

"Namine!" Olette stopped abruptly, jumping off the bed and running towards her, "Is Selphie with you? She didn't come home, so I searched everywhere – but I can't find her! She won't pick up her cell phone!"

Namine shook her head slowly, her brain feeling like a puddle of mud, "No, I haven't… what time was she supposed to be back?"

Olette paced as Hayner and Namine watched her, "The movie was at three o' clock, and Selphie promised she would be home by six. I know she had a date but…"

"Irvine," Hayner coughed.

Olette sent him a mild glare, "I know Irvine, and I know he would never do something to hurt her. He's a great guy, and a family friend. My father was his mentor. Anyway, I think you've been around Tidus for too long."

"I agree," Namine said, pinching the bridge of her nose, "So Selphie wasn't home even after you got back with Kairi?"

"That's right," Olette nodded, sitting down again on the bed.

Namine didn't have the strength to keep standing anymore. It was like the heavy shroud had grown ten times heavier all of a sudden as her knees buckled. She heard Hayner and Olette cry out to her in alarm, but she couldn't help herself, as she lay immobile against Hayner's carpeted floor. The flattening pressure wouldn't leave the top of her body, crushing her to the point that she had stopped breathing.

But before her friend or her brother could touch her, a shock of pain flew through her body, stinging every nerve as if a thousand needles had simultaneously pricked her. Then there was a pounding pain in her head that drowned out her screams as she writhed. She couldn't feel anything but the pain, yet her brother' voice was so close, calling her name. She heard him, but she could barely see him as she gasped like a fish out of water. Olette's voice was frantic, asking her what was wrong.

Namine struggled to keep her watering eyes open. The pain was intense, all over her body like as if fists and feet were cracking down onto every conceivable inch of her body. Yet she did not feel any force behind the invisible blows. There was simply not impact or force sent her way. She could only feel her flesh and bones screaming as the unseen beating continued. The sharp bursts of pain began to white out her thoughts, quickly becoming overwhelming. She screamed again to clear her head.

"_NAMINE!_" Hayner yelled. His hands grabbed her flinching shoulders helplessly, "What's happening to you? Come on, talk to me sis!"

"Hayner, look!" Olette took Namine's hands in her own, "Where are these bruises coming from?"

Namine squinted, grimacing as her insides squirmed with a fear that she didn't know she had. The fear felt so far away though, as if they were foreign. She flinched wildly when Hayner touched her sore face, the head throbbing pain sharpening immensely as he did so. A violent bruise must have started there. She could even feel the skin on her cheek tear and bleed under his fingers.

"God, Namine…" Hayner whispered, his eyes wide and fear stricken, "What's doing this to you?"

Namine opened her mouth to tell him that she didn't know, that she was scared… But her voice wouldn't work behind the knot stuck in her throat. Hayner's desperate face and the touch of Olette's clammy hands began to fade away as the warm glow of her brother's room blacked out of her sight.

Suddenly, she could feel rain, running cold rivers down her broken body and choking her throat with water. The darkness and freezing humidity closed in on her with greedy hands, suffocating her. A foreign smile tugged at her lips. Why was she smiling? The smile… It didn't belong to her.

Thoughts scrambled her mind, covering up her own. She made a good sacrifice. It was herself, or her sister. There was no in between, no other way. If she hadn't done what he wanted, he'd have gone after her sister… She would never let that happen if she could help it. Her sister was too gentle, too kind. She didn't deserve any pain – she didn't know how to fight.

Where was she? The sign towering above her was blurry and dark against the pouring black rain.

Sandler Common? Sand…

Namine fought to stay in control. She didn't have a sister. She had an older brother, a twin older brother. His name was Hayner. Where… where did he go?

Light flooded her sight again, and Namine felt the mugginess vanish, only to be replaced by the continuous stab of a killer headache.

"Hayner! Hayner, she's wake!"

Olette? Thank god… she was safe.

"Olette," Namine breathed shallowly, "You're all right…"

Namine turned her head and felt her neck protest, trying to ignore the soreness. Hayner was trying to hide the tears in his eyes, worry and fear evident in every line on his face. He was sheet white and visibly shaking. Even his voice sounded strangely strangled as he assured her, "Of course Olette's fine. She was here this whole time."

"Me or her… sister?" Namine's battered mind struggled to comprehend the words before finally breaking through some sense, "Selphie! The Sandlot!" Her body ached as she sat up quickly. She tried to stand, and would have fallen again if Hayner and Olette had not grabbed her in time.

"N-Namine, what is it?" Olette asked in a tiny, frightened voice.

Namine shook her head, her eyes glued on Hayner, "Everything that happens to me now… It's all getting stronger."

Hayner's eyes widened as he helped her onto the bed, "You mean your visions?"

Namine felt like screaming again right then and there. Everything was just so frustrating! Her life was falling apart, the pieces spinning out of her control. Why her? She breathed, trying to block the aching pain, "Everything's becoming stronger. I'm not just seeing things happen anymore. They're actually happening to me, Hayner."

Suddenly, Hayner hugged her, despite Olette's presence in the room. Namine could feel his tears falling warm and wet onto the back of her blue shirt. He didn't hold her strong enough to hurt her, but his shuddering body told her that he was terrified.

His voice was muffled by her neck, "Namine, I don't know how to help you. I can't seem to protect anyone. First Dad… what'll I do if I lose you too?"

Namine's arms weighed down like blocks of lead, but she somehow managed to give him a half-embrace. She told him softly, trying to sound soothing, "I'll be all right. And who said that you don't help? You're always going to be the tough guy that everybody counts on…"

"You don't get it. You didn't see yourself… You wouldn't move and you wouldn't breathe. You're heart wasn't even beating," Hayner held her tighter, clenching his teeth in frustration, "I thought you died just now! I didn't know how… what to do. Namine, you can't just go."

"I won't, Hayner. You know I'd never leave you if I can help it," she replied comfortingly to her stressed twin, "But right now, we need to help someone. Selphie's alone out there right now. We need to get to the Sandlot Common and help her and Olette. You understand, don't you?"

Namine pulled out of his shaking arms and smiled painfully at him, knowing she must have looked terrible. But Hayner reluctantly nodded, and wiped furiously at his eyes. He gruffly agreed, "Yeah, you're right."

Hayner handed Namine over to Olette, "Our mom is probably still at work, so I'll write a note. Olette, can you help Namine down the stairs? We need to throw on some raingear before we get out of here."

Olette's delicate face was a mix of worry and gratitude, only slightly relieved that they had some kind of plan again. She acted as Namine's crutch as they hobbled down the steps after Hayner flicked on the lights for them. As Hayner disappeared into the study room for a pen and paper, Olette herded Namine into the kitchen. The two were silent, trapped in their own thoughts until Namine broke the silence, "Olette. Can you bring me to the cabinet by the sink? I think I'll need some kind of pain-killer."

"Yeah… n-no problem," Olette stuttered.

Namine grabbed a glass of water and pulled out two Tylenol capsules from the bottle on the shelf inside the cabinet. She chugged down the pills quickly, but almost choked. Her throat was still sore and irritated. She grimaced as she set aside the glass to clean later.

"Namine?" Olette began tentatively.

"Hmm?" Namine turned to see her friend finally losing her cool as she watched Olette's face pinch. Her friend's green eyes were ready to rival the downpour outside with the onslaught of building tears. Namine prodded gently, "Olette, what is it?"

"What – what could have happened to Selphie? She wasn't, isn't… you know… dead?"

"No," Namine assured firmly, "She will be fine."

"Then what could have happened?" Olette asked hiding her face in her hands, "Why would some hurt her?"

"I don't… We'll just have to ask her. For now, let's not assume anything."

Olette tried to collect herself, "Namine, in Hayner's room you asked about my safety. I know this might sound silly if I ask you but… Were those Selphie's thoughts?"

Namine smiled faintly, the gash on her face still swollen and pulsing, "I think so. I just know that she was trying to protect you."

"From who?" Olette asked absently. Namine knew who and why, but decided not to answer the question.

So the vision she had when she first met Selphie and Seifer was a vision of the future – their current present. But why have such visions? What was the point? Even if she had them, there was nothing she could have done to change anything. If only… If only she had made the connection sooner, maybe she could have saved everybody the grief.

The pain was slowly numbing, and Namine was able to stumble over to the closet and grab three plastic parkas. She handed the clear one to Olette and threw on the dark blue one over herself. As Hayner emerged from the study room, he tossed the scribbled note on the counter. He made a disgruntled face when Namine stuffed the rose pink parka into his arms before she turned around to fish for rain boots next.

Hayner looked into the drawer nearby for some spare cash, "The Sandlot, right? I sure hope the train's still working this time at night."

"It should be," Olette told him, "The trams are systematically efficient in town."

Namine grabbed the keys from the counter and shoved the door open. Immediately, wind and rain forced their way inside, despite the small awning above the door.

"Come on, we can't spare any more time," she said.

With that, the three of them left the house hastily, shutting and locking the door behind them. Running into the pouring night, they disappeared into the mists, heading for the train station to catch the night tram to Station Heights.

_Hold on Selphie_, Namine willed her courage towards her friend, _we're coming for you._

Namine hoped her thoughts would bring her a sign, a response of some sort. It had unwittingly worked in Hayner's room earlier, yet now it was being unwittingly uncooperative.

There was only that hushed silence – the stiff, blanketing silence before the real storm.

………

………

………

………

A/N: I have a shield, and I'm not afraid to use it when I get attacked. Yes, I know I make Namine suffer a lot. Just to let you know, I don't hate her. She's quite popular among the readers, so I don't mean to anger anyone (or do I?) Anyway, I am aware that people were pretty upset with Hayner's reactions and behavior these past few chapters. While I was writing this, I knew I couldn't make him a perfect brother since he's human and he's got his flaws too. I just want you guys to know that all of the characters here are vulnerable in their own way. Nobody is better than anybody else. I find human nature, and people in general as fascinating subjects for being capable of a whole spectrum of emotions.

I'm not going into English class or anything to bore you, but that is part of my message. The world isn't just black and white. Nobody is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. And somewhere deep down, a person wishes for someone – maybe even just one other person – to understand them.

"_Pain shows all, but does not say all."_

**[EDIT Holy casseroles. I'm sorry – I forgot to thank the Chapter 7 reviewers! Here you go.**

My personal thanks to Chapter 7 reviewers: AquaFlameElementalist , CerberAsta , Alyssa , X-The Random Vampire-X , snowyleopard , timekeeper1824 , Isabella Swan , From The Stone Bridge , hotaru89 , estrellaz , VaniVan , Malcolm Yuy , PrincessKeira , KhanomAna , Tater Tots , SagaLight , hoopla37 , and lebrezie. 

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_Do you believe in the supernatural? For example, do you believe in ghosts?_

………

_**My Answer:**_

_A very patient friend of mine listened to me talk about __Deja Blue__ when I first started the story's manuscript. You got to know, I was totally pumped and had to get it out of my system. After a good long time of listening to my extraneously detailed description, she told me, "It sounds like a really good story. How did you think it up?" I sat there looking at my hands as I gnawed my lip, wondering about what to say. You see, the truth is sometimes weirder than the fiction. When I finally decided on how I would answer her, an impish grin spread across my face._

"_Truth is a great writing tool."_

………

………

………


	9. Call Me a Liar

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 9: Call Me a Liar

………

A/N: Hey guys, sorry about the delayed responses! I was doing a shitake-load of applications and portfolio work lately. I've been so pressed for time that I did not get a chance to reply as quickly as I normally would. Anyway, I'm not dead – just worn.

Also, to all who review anonymously (i.e. review without logging in to fanfiction . net I cannot respond to you through private messaging system, _and I _will not _respond to you through email. _If you would like me to reply to your review, please take the time to log in before reviewing. Thanks!

_To _**The Stone Bridge**_, please read this:__I would have really appreciated it if you contacted me first and asked if I didn't mind you using my review section as an announcement board. While I realize that you did not advertise or announce that other story out of ill intentions, I would like you to know that I must delete any spam. I'd like to keep my review section for my story as a review section for my story. _

_Forgive me, for I must delete that announcement you made. In the future, if you or anyone else, would like to suggest another story to other readers,_ please let me know first through private messaging. _I might include an introduction of it in my Author's Notes as I see fit, _and _as long as I do not get requests to do so too often. Thank you very much though! I really do appreciate your support. :)_

Anyhow, lets get on with the story. I hope you guys will like this chapter too!

………

………

_Previous Chapter:_

_So the vision she had when she first met Selphie and Seifer was a vision of the future – their current present. But why have such visions? What was the point? Even if she had them, there was nothing she could have done to change anything. If only… If only she had made the connection sooner, maybe she could have saved everybody the grief._

_The pain was slowly numbing, and Namine was able to stumble over to the closet and grab three plastic parkas. She handed the clear one to Olette and threw on the dark blue one over herself. As Hayner emerged from the study room, tossing the note on the counter. Made a disgruntled face when Namine stuffed the rose pink parka into his arms before she turned around to fish for rain boots next._

_Hayner looked into the drawer nearby for some spare cash, "The Sandlot, right?" I sure hope the train's still working this time at night."_

"_It should be," Olette told him, "The train is systematically efficient in town."_

_Namine grabbed the keys from the counter and shoved the door open. Immediately, wind ad rain forced their way inside, despite the small awning above the door._

"_Come on, we can't spare any more time," she said._

_With that, the three of them left the house hastily, shutting and locking the door behind them. Running into the pouring night, they disappeared into the mists, heading for the train station to catch the night tram to Station Heights._

_Hold on Selphie, Namine willed her courage towards her friend, we're coming for you._

_Namine hoped her thoughts would bring her a sign, a response of some sort. It had unwittingly worked in Hayner's room earlier, yet now it was uncooperative. _

_There was only silence – the stiff, blanketing silence before the real storm._

………

………

Namine had offered to call up their friends to update everyone about what was going on. The first person Namine decided to call was Kairi. The redhead always knew the fastest ways possible to contact and rally the group. Meanwhile, Hayner tried his best to calm Olette by using quiet and comforting words, even throwing in some of his best quirks. He brought up easy conversation, or at least, he tried to. Olette was not very responsive, but she did begin to talk little by little again.

As Namine waited for Kairi to pick up the house phone, she looked around the warm train. It seemed that they had cranked up the heat due to the rapidly changing seasons. Just as well too, Namine thought. The icy rain pelted buckets at them, soaking them all over. Her teeth chattered uncontrollably, and she cursed herself for forgetting to wear a sweatshirt. She should have known better that a short sleeves under a plastic parka did not work well against the cold.

Namine's anxious frown increased as she thought of Selphie, lying frozen and hurt on a dark street somewhere all alone under the thundering night. She could almost remember the wind scraping harshly against her frozen body.

"Hello?" a light voice asked as someone picked up the receiver.

"Uh, Kai?" Namine asked, "I need to talk to you about something urgent."

"Oh! I'm sorry. I'm her mother. Are you Namine?"

Namine apologized quickly, her face hot, "Yes! Sorry about that Mrs. Kishimoto."

How embarrassing!

Kairi's mother laughed pleasantly, "Don't be. Here, I'll put Kairi on the phone." Moments later, Namine could heard her call Kairi's name. There were faint sounds of a scuffle going on, as Kairi scrambled to grab the phone.

"Hello?"

"It's Kairi this time, right?" Namine checked.

Kairi's light laugh sounded exactly like her mother's, "Yeah, we get that a lot. It's kind of bothersome, don't you think?"

"I guess so," Namine answered, feeling a little more at ease. But the severity of the situation never left her mind. Her voice turned anxious, "Listen, Kai. We've got a big problem. Selphie's hurt and Hayner, Olette, and I are on our way to find her. I need to you to tell everyone to meet up with us at the hospital."

"Wait! How did that happen? Where is she?" Kairi asked, her voice harboring a frantic edge. There was a lot of noise in the background: a cell phone beeping, keys jingling, the sound of shoe laces being tied, and the zipping of a jacket. She seemed to be getting ready to leave.

Namine could already feel the train slowing down to a stop. Knowing that she had to get off fast, she spoke quickly into her phone, "Kai, we need to get off the train right now. It's pouring cats and dogs outside, so I can't use my phone. Please tell the others for me, and get an ambulance to the Sandlot as soon as you can. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Don't worry, everyone knows. I just texted them all," Kairi said triumphantly, "We'll meet at the hospital. I'm calling 911 now."

Namine had no idea how her friend could text so quickly, but she was very grateful, "Thanks, Kai. You're the best!"

"Uh-huh," Kairi agreed lightly, "You know it. But how'd you find out about Selph–?"

"I got to get off the phone now. I'll tell you later. So, later!" With that, Namine disconnected the call and was assisted down the train by her brother.

Hayner asked, "So how did it go?"

"Kairi's taking care of things on the other end, so now it's our turn to find Selphie." The three of them agreed and sprinted down the wet streets, searching for any sign of their missing friend.

Namine remembered the sign in her vision and began to search for it, Olette and Hayner following her closely. She found the sign eventually, but there was no Selphie.

"Look!" Olette cried out running to where Namine had led them. A bright, yet muddied yellow scrunchy caught Namine's eyes too. She could recognize the thing anywhere. Selphie never let it leave her wrist. Olette bent down and picked it up, as she shouted, "It's hers! Selphie? Where are you? _SELPHIE!_" Olette's voice grew in volume, but was still drowned out by the pattering rain, "_Where are you?_"

Hayner stopped her from running blindly into the rain, "Olette! Think about where she could have gone. It's raining, cold, and windy with the possibility of getting struck by thunder and lightning." As if the prove his point, a fierce sear of light split the black sky into pieces. A sharp roll of ground-shaking thunder quickly followed it, turning their legs to jelly while rattling their lungs. He ignored the sharp ringing in his ears as he added, "Your sister's a smart person. What would she do?"

"She'd find shelter," Namine said. Her eyes scanned the murky darkness until she saw the tunnel entrance nearby. She pointed her finger towards it, "Maybe she found her way into the underground walkways?"

They hurried into the dark tunnel and Namine would have fallen down the stone steps leading downwards had Hayner and Olette not grabbed her arms. She winced against the fresh ache from her bruises, but otherwise moved on. Seeing more light further at the bottom, the three of them crept carefully down the steps together though they could not stop their rain boots from squelching.

Namine felt the damp railing under her hand. It only became wetter as she descended into the underground pathway. As she followed her hunches, she doubted that the water was left by the humidity.

"Who's there?" a small voice asked as they neared. There wasn't fear, just anticipation.

Olette asked, recognizing the voice, "Selph? Is that you?"

"Olette?"

"Selphie!" Olette scrambled down the rest of the stairs, stumbling on the wet floor until she found the source, "Thank God!"

Namine and Hayner followed her and knelt down next to them too. The poor lighting revealed Selphie in Olette's cradling arms. Besides all the mud and dust covering the young brunette, all of her cuts and bruises were identical to Namine's.

Olette proceeded to tell Selphie that help was coming and that everything was going to be fine. Nobody was going to hurt her any more. Hayner also joined in, making the tension and worry bearable as he spoke easily to them. Namine held Selphie's freezing hand in hers and smiled encouragingly, "You're missing your favorite scrunchy, you know?"

Olette dug a hand into her jeans and retrieved the wet yellow article, "We found it outside while we looked for you," she kneaded the soft fabric into Selphie's loose grip, "We were so worried. If Namine didn't know where to find you –!"

Selphie's eyes widened, "Namine? You _knew_?" her green reflected her feelings of betrayal, "You knew that they were going to hurt me and you didn't say anything?"

Namine was speechless, not quite understanding why Selphie was upset, but Hayner recognized the misconception before she did. He jumped to her defense, "She didn't _know_ what was going to happen. She only saw where you were and brought us here based on her vision."

"Her what?" Selphie asked disbelievingly, "You can't mean –"

"Selphie," Olette began gently, "When Kairi and I came home a little late, you weren't home at all, and wouldn't pick up your phone. I tried to look for you on my own. When I didn't find you, I went to Hayner and Namine's house to see if they saw you. I didn't know what else to do!"

Selphie looked more and more confused, but before she could interrupt, Olette continued, "You're probably not going to believe me, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I saw it with my own eyes! Namine came into the room looking a little sick, and then she collapsed… then… then…"

Namine filled in the blanks for her, "It was like I became you. You were smiling, lying in the Sandlot and staring up at the street sign above you. You kept thinking, 'there was no other way' and 'it was me or my sister,'" Namine hugged herself, "It was so cold and suffocating – hard to breathe. And everything hurt."

Selphie was speechless, but she regained some of her senses, "H-how? How could you have known all that?"

Namine gripped Selphie's hand, "I don't know. I don't understand why everything's becoming so much stronger than before."

"It's not supposed to be possible…?" Selphie tried again.

"But it is," Hayner told her, "If the light was better, you'd see that she has all the same cuts and bruises as you."

Selphie slipped her hand out of Namine's grip and reached up. The instant her hand fingered the blistering gash on Namine's swollen cheek, Namine yelped, flinching back. Selphie's arm dropped to her side once more, "Namine do you… also know what happened?"

Namine fought to clear the pain, answering her bleakly, "No."

"Oh," Selphie murmured. She found Namine's hand again and managed an apologetic smile, "Please forgive me, Nami?"

"Just don't touch me again without a warning, all right?" Namine told her, "I should have brought you some Advil. The pain must be killing you too."

Hayner suddenly became more alert and shushed everyone as he listened intently, "Do you guys hear that?"

"Hear what?" Olette questioned.

Hayner stood up and dusted himself off. "The sirens. Here," he reached down and picked Selphie up in his arms. Selphie flushed and Olette protested, but Hayner just gave them all a grin, "Don't worry, I won't drop her. I can lift any girl, especially since one of the heaviest girls here got herself stuck in trees all the time. It was always my job to get her down." This earned him a glare from Namine, as Olette helped her up the stairs after her brother.

But Olette seemed to have picked up some of his humor too, "Well then Hayner, I guess you're not as strong as you claim to be."

"Hey!" Hayner griped, but neither Selphie nor Namine missed the flash of a grin across his face.

………

The paramedics were too busy to notice Namine and her wounds as they tended to Selphie, trying to shield her from the rain as the rushed her into the back of the ambulance van. Olette followed them in after Hayner promised that he and Namine would meet up with them at the hospital as soon as they could. As they watched their friends disappear into the white, flashing van, the police looked ready to bombard Namine and Hayner with questions before the media could show up. Lucky for Namine and Hayner, Hayner's phone still worked and he had already dialed for their mother.

She had been driving home when he called and quickly doubled back for them. Before the news or police could catch up with them in the rain, the family of three was already on their way to the hospital.

Namine gripped Hayner's hand in the car, knowing that he was still very distraught from everything that had happened. He gripped her hand back, but otherwise, his impassive face did not change. She felt a small smile tugging at her mouth though. It was just like him to set up a tough front when he felt absolutely lost inside. His heart had always been softer than hers.

Their mother seemed oblivious to the whole situation as she quizzed them about what the big hurry was for. Hayner answered most of the questions – he really needed to speak. Speaking was like acting as if he was in control. It was exactly what he needed when he was nervous or afraid. Namine knew it helped him forget the fear. Besides, she did not want to talk. She did not want their mother to see her face in the rear view mirror. The best way was to let Hayner talk while she stared fixedly into the blurry, rainy nothingness outside the window.

Lucky for Namine, their mother did not notice her pallor or injuries, even as they got out of the car and headed for the hospital's glass automatic doors. For that, Namine was grateful. Mrs. Araki only said that she would find a parking space and wait in the lobby for them.

Pence and Riku were already waiting in there when the twins arrived. Pence had been talking to Riku when suddenly he saw the two siblings come to a dripping halt through the sliding glass doors. Seeing their plump friend wave them over, Namine and Hayner quickly squeaked their way over to them. Namine guessed that Pence had just arrived as well, seeing him shake out the water from his black umbrella.

Water continued to slide down her parka, but Namine ignore it, leaving her hood on while Hayner immediately shrugged off his own. Riku let out a low chuckle as he snatched the pink embarrassment away and held it up for inspection.

"Looks like someone's attached to pink, though I thought purple would have suited you better. Hayner, are you thinking of coming out of the closet any time soon?" Riku joked.

"What!" Hayner stomped his foot and planted a hand on his hip, "I'm not gay, all right? And it's _light_ red. There's a difference."

Riku shrugged indifferently, "Whatever. I couldn't tell."

"Anyway…" Namine finally squeezed herself into the conversation, "Where's Selphie? What did the doctors say?"

Riku nodded, his eyes lingering on her shadowed face, "She's in the emergency ward getting treated, but I heard that she should be fine. You know Selph," he turned down the white corridor, motioning for his friends to follow him, "Sora and the others are waiting around – and unsuccessfully trying to calm our flaxen friend."

Sure enough, after dodging the nurses with a few measured smiles from Riku and Hayner, they found their friends waiting anxiously outside the ER for any news about Selphie. Tidus stood out among them though. His hair was hardly in its usual array of neat spikes, as he paced quickly enough to make Namine dizzy by just looking at him.

Namine shrugged herself even further into the hood of her parka. She didn't want them to see her. If only her jacket could swallow her up now. After a few murmured greetings, Namine soon found herself in a secluded seat a distance away from everyone.

She kept the hood of her blue parka up to prevent anybody from noticing the violent wound on her pale face. As Namine shied further away from view, she focused only on the watermarks staining her wet boots. She would not look up when her friends approached her. Hayner was able to guide them away, explaining that she did not feel so well. Namine closed her eyes, thanking her brother mentally.

But the only solid thought she could think about was how she would escape the hospital the instant she could. She hated hospitals, especially this one. Twilight Town Central Hospital was the exact same hospital that her father died in when the doctors could not save him.

She sank down further into her chair, continuing to distance herself from the voices of her quietly chatting friends. As Namine stared at her white palms, she traced the tips of her cold fingers with the gaze of her half-lidded eyes. Blinking, she slowly recalled that fateful hour when her father died.

If she listened hard enough, she could still hear a younger Hayner crying his eyes out beside her while she stared silently down at her hands in the same fashion she was doing just then.

The prickling feeling had touched her neck. It was the same feeling as the cold realization of losing something important. She had jumped out of her chair, and before the nurses or doctors could stop her, she followed the cold sensation and slipped into the emergency operating room just in time to hear his heart flat line.

She could still see everything so clearly behind her eyelids. The sounds of loud voices hushing… the machines being unhooked… her father lying on the table, finally free of tubes and wires… no more breathing mask when he no longer needed it. She saw him at the time of his death, yet nobody saw her until she cried that high keening sound for him. She could still remember that terrifying whinny ripping through her young throat – like the sound of a kicked puppy or a dying dog would make.

The very memory sent her skin crawling all over her flesh, making her shudder violently in her seat. She grabbed her own shoulders and drew her knees up towards her, if only to prevent herself from screaming.

She hated hospitals.

Hayner's voice somehow reached her, as he caught everybody's attention, "Hey guys. How is she exactly?"

Before anyone could answer him, Kairi ran around the corner and zoomed past him, stopping only a few inches from Namine. She waved a finger at her, making Namine recede further into her blue hood if that were possible.

"Where were you? I tried to call you, but you didn't pick up after you got off the train!" Kairi huffed, her rosy cheeks puffing, "Just now, I was still standing outside trying to get a clear signal. Someone could have at least told me that you guys arrived." She ran a shaking hand through her damp red hair, shooting the whole lot of them a glare.

Namine could see her shivering, obviously cold just wearing her pajamas beneath the thin plastic poncho. The transparent pink plastic crinkled under her fist as she planted her hand against her hip.

She couldn't blame her friend for being so irritated, but Namine still gave her friend an unimpressed look from beneath the shadows of her hood, before digging a shaking hand into her pocket for her cell phone. When she pulled it out, the dysfunctional phone was already blinking erratically. It made a pathetic sound before it shut down altogether. Water dripped all over its plastic surface, as Namine assessed the water damage with a blank expression. She needed a new phone.

"Oh," Kairi said, her face relaxing from her original frown.

Namine gave her an apologetic reply, "Sorry, Kai."

Sora walked over to them, taking off his coat and wrapped Kairi up in it. Namine watched as her redheaded friend shrank appreciatively into the downy coat, giving Sora a warm smile. Focusing her eyes onto her cold white palms again, Namine was able to remain indifferent, normal. She reminded herself that she was happy for them. They were her friends after all.

But Namine didn't want to stay with the cuddling couple. She did not know how else to react except to give Sora a shy hello and a quiet excuse, before shuffling off towards the group. Better to be with them than Sora and Kairi, Namine thought. At least her friends were oblivious, saving her the embarrassment. She sat down again, finding a seat beside Wakka.

"Hey, Namine. What are ya looking so down for?"

Namine shook her head, offering Wakka a half hidden smile, "I'm just worried about Selphie."

Wakka gave her a dubious look, but he knew Namine was the kind of person who kept her problems to herself. Still, that never stopped him from trying to talk to her, "So how did ya find Selphie in the rain? I heard from Kairi that Selph was in trouble – and that you went after her, ya?"

Namine bowed her head completely out of sight as she played with the fingers, "We'll explain everything soon or later, Wakka."

Seeing Wakka's eyes sadden out of the corner of her eye, she quickly assured him, "I'm not trying to shut you out, really. It's just that tonight is too hard for me to talk about it on my own. I'm not the only one who has something to say. Please bear with me Wakka."

Wakka nodded understandingly, his orange hair bobbing. His eyes looked up to glance at Sora and Kairi, but before he could mention if part of her despair was over the two of them, Olette walked through the E.R. doors.

"Hey everyone," Olette said, her hands wringing together until they bled white, "Selphie's getting moved to another room, so I'll take you guys there to see her. But only for a bit, okay?"

Hayner seemed perplexed about something as he asked Riku, "Hey, man. I thought only authorized personnel can walk in through those doors – and she just walked out of them!"

Namine nudged him to shush him up, but she also peered expectantly at Riku from under her hood. Riku answered them calmly, "Olette and Selphie's parents own this hospital. Their father is Dr. Tilmitt, the highest medical authority here." He seemed uncomfortable under Namine's scrutiny, casting an uneasy glance down at her while he spoke. She sensed his discomfort and looked away, tucking up her shoulders again to fix the depth of her hood.

After arriving in front of a white door several halls away, Olette ushered everybody inside, but held Namine back gently as the door shut. Making sure that their friends' muffled voices were busy with conversation again, Olette pulled Namine into a fierce hug. For what seemed like minutes to Namine, Olette kept thanking her over and over again. Namine just clung to her friend lightly, trying to ignore the pain sprouting from their friendly embrace.

"How is she?" Namine inquired for the second time that night.

Olette beamed, her eyes still red and shiny from tears, "Well, you're okay, right? Selphie's pulling through too, so everything should be fine."

Namine gave a mental note of thanks to whatever helped them all pull through before asking Olette timidly.

"Did she tell you who did that to her?"

Olette shook her head, "No. She was so silent when I asked. But I really want to know – what has it all got to do with me? I don't want to be… you know."

"A burden? Believe me, you're not. If you were, Selphie would not have chosen to save you."

Namine offered smile, which turned into a grimace when she stretched the wale on her face. Either way, it would have been hard for Olette to tell whether she was smiling or not. Her friend merely nodded uncertainly, before gripping the silver handle and sliding it open. She pulled Namine in with her, gripping her hand tightly.

Everyone stopped talking as Namine and Olette stood at the foot of Selphie's bed. Selphie tried to sit up, but Tidus kept a hand on her shoulder. Despite his best attempt though, Selphie just sprang right up again like a daisy after the rain.

"Namine!" Selphie exclaimed, her green eyes bright and lively again, "Tell them how you found me! Hayner and I can't convince them alone."

"But– "

Namine began, when Pence suddenly spoke up with a puppy-like voice, "Is it true, Namine?"

"I'm assuming that Hayner explained what he and I saw in his room," Olette answered for her, "Of course it's all true. I know it is. I saw it all happen right in front of my own eyes too."

"Impossible…" and "You kidding?" resounded through the suddenly cramp room. Namine wanted to dig a hole and disappear. She wanted to cry all over again. But she wouldn't.

This time, she wouldn't.

"If we were kidding," Selphie ground out gruffly, "Then we'd all be laughing our butts off right about now. But we're not."

"So it _is_ true?" someone asked.

Namine clamped her hands and teeth hard. She reminded herself that she did not have to justify the truth. The truth was the truth, and people would know it was the truth eventually. Truth brought closure. It always did. It had to. She didn't want them to see her. She didn't want to feel like a freak on display any longer. More than anything, she really wanted to leave right then.

But her feet were rooted to the floor like two lead blocks. She couldn't do what her brain commanded.

Oh, how she wanted to disappear just then! But before she could think of any other way to escape the spotlight, someone pulled off her hood, making it fall behind her head. She retreated, breathing sharply, but the sound of protest died on her lips – unable to puncture the brittle silence. Quickly, she ducked her head, pushing a cold hand up to hide the pulsing throb on her face.

Hayner placed a comforting arm around her shoulder, and nodded at her. It was one of those rare moments that the two of them could communicate without a single word spoken. She breathed out softly, struggling to maintain an even cadence of breath, before letting her hand drop to her side.

Slowly, she lifted her face, revealing the grotesque bruise that dappled her flushing cheek. Everyone turned their heads to look between her and Selphie, reveling at the sight of the same painful welt blooming on the same part of their faces.

"What about her arms? Her legs?" Tidus spouted incredulously. Namine would have laughed at the priceless expression he wore, if she wasn't feeling as stolid as she did right then.

She dared a look behind her and her brother, to find the culprit who had pulled off her hood earlier. Realizing that it had been Sora, she felt something restless and uncomfortable stirring in her. She couldn't give a name to the bothersome feeling, but she did feel the hurt that came with it. Suddenly, she did not feel so shy anymore, but rather, she felt the stab of anger glide stealthily through her veins. Roughly, she unzipped her blue parka as she emancipated her pent up annoyance.

She snapped the silence in half, "If it's proof you need to determine whether or not I'm some crack fortune-teller, go ahead. Be my guest." She opened up her arms, revealing the ghastly purpling bruises and dried, uncared cuts on her skin, exactly where Selphie's were covered in clean gauze and disinfectant. Throwing her coat to the ground, she barked, "And don't you dare tell me I did this to myself!"

_Don't you dare tell me that I'm lying!_

The stagnant room echoed with those unsaid words. Nobody uttered a single breath as the silence hovered ominously like a black cloud. Nobody knew what to say at first. Nobody knew how to react. Namine felt stupider by the second as her last words continued to hang poignantly, expectantly.

Olette's voice was soft, "You see, she's not lying. I… I believe her. Namine's never deceived us. Not now, not even about Roxas."

Upon hearing her words, Namine found that she could breathe again. The constant presence of having Hayner stand directly beside her, helped relieve some of the burden too. Sheepish and guilty looks began to appear on many of their faces, as they all tried to avoid looking at each other. Still, there was something unsettling that continued to linger in the room. A lot of eyes had left her, settling their attention onto Sora.

Turning around, and looking at Sora too, Namine could see an inner battle raging within him. His blue eyes were clouded and harsh, the windows to a violent storm.

Sensing the static increase in the room, Namine walked away from him and sat down next to Selphie. She asked her friend gently, "Who did this to us?" She nodded at their twin sets of injuries. Though Namine already knew the answer, she couldn't help but feel as if it was Selphie's right to tell it.

Also, there was another reason why she changed the subject.

Namine could feel Sora's eyes on her, as she cast a sideways look at him. He seemed to smile a thank-you to her, despite his weary expression. She should not have felt obligated to help him, especially when he had been the one to embarrass her. But she couldn't help it. Lifting a corner of her mouth slightly in response, she turned her attention back to Selphie.

Selphie fiddled with her hands in her lap, trying to gage everyone's reactions without actually looking at them. Finally, she sighed.

"It was Seifer." She stared hard at her bandaged hands.

Everyone stiffened, but Kairi burst out with a furious protest.

"It couldn't have just been him! You're too good of a fighter, Selph. Remember how you kicked his sorry ass and won against him in the last two Struggle Tournaments?"

Namine was shocked to say the least. She had never seen her redheaded friend so angry before.

Selphie shook her head in defeat, "Fine, you're right. It was Seifer, Fuu, and Rai. I walked into a stupid trap, okay? They ganged up on me."

"What for?" Riku asked coldly. Namine could tell that he didn't have any ill intentions towards Selphie. He just asserted himself as the protector of their close-knit community. Having Seifer's personal little clique attack Selphie was a huge insult to his role.

Selphie could hardly look at anybody as she explained, "Seifer's been wanting a rematch for ages. He can't seem to accept the fact that I beat him in the past two tournaments. Bullying me at school is one way around it. But I told him no, and that I wasn't interested in an unofficial fight. That was on the first day of school. That day he…" she grabbed Namine's hands, "That was the day he said that he'd go after Olette if I didn't agree to fight him. I didn't want her to get involved. I didn't want anybody to get hurt. It was my business and my choice to face him in the end. But…"

"But?" Olette prodded gently, as she sat down on Selphie's other side.

"But it didn't work out like you thought it would," Hayner concluded. He added, "Selph, I get what you're saying, but that's not fair. We're your friends, and we're supposed to stick together. Naturally, it would become our business."

"I've been wondering, ya?" Wakka spoke up suddenly, rubbing the stubble growing on his chin, "How did Rai and Fuu end up in the fight too? Even Seifer knows that matches should be even."

Selphie shrugged, "I thought so too. But apparently, he's more corrupted than we thought. Once I got to the Sandlot, the fight started immediately. There was no time to negotiate for a one on one fight."

"That bastard," Tidus spat, clenching his fists angrily though he didn't dare strike anything in the room, "That wasn't a rematch. That was just a brutal payback. What a spoil sport."

Sora crossed his arms, frowning down at his soaked shoes. His mouth stayed grim as he asked them, "What should we do?"

"Fight back and pick his brains out. What else?" Tidus snarled.

Riku shot the blonde a stern look, chilling the growing rage in the room like ice water thrown over a tiny, kindling fire. He spoke directly to Tidus, "It would be a mistake on our part to act as immaturely as that ass-wipe, Ti. Lets give it a rest for tonight. We'll think of something to do later."

There was no room for any other suggestions after that. A while later, Mrs. Tilmitt came into the room and ushered everyone out for the night. As they all headed towards the main lobby, Namine lagged behind. She could only watch as indecision hung over every one of their heads, filling up the cold white space in the winding halls. 

………

………

………

………

A/N:** Doom.** Gloom. And _bloom_, like a daisy after the rain. Yes – cheesy, but true. That's how it goes, so no worries. Things will get better, and Roxas will be making another appearance in the upcoming chapter. For those of you who were wondering where all the fluff went, you'll like the next chapter a lot. It is very long. I despair over typing it up!

My personal thanks to Chapter 8 reviewers: timekeeper1824 , Flower of the Desert , Malcolm Yuy , lebrezie , KhanomAna , estrellaz , CerberAsta , Tater Tots , Nami-Chan -LovesRoxas- , Isabella Swan , X-The Random Vampire-X , The Stone Bridge , AquaFlameElementalist , Karin Ochibi-chan , HeartFlare05 , LoveKey , and BlueNobody.

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_If you could change your eye color(s) – what would it/they be?_

………

_**My Answer:**_

_I would have either dark, green eyes or periwinkle-gray eyes. :)_

………

………

………


	10. That Fever Date

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 10: That Fever Date

………

A/N: I wasn't kidding in last chapter when I said this update would be_ long_. By the way, I need to concentrate on the upcoming SATs for March, so I won't be updating all that much these next few weeks. It's also exam season, so yippee – as if I'm not busy enough. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter.

And halleluiah for you! You're looking at some NaminexRoxas fluff. :)

………

………

_Previous Chapter:_

_Selphie could hardly look at anybody as she explained, "Seifer's been wanting a rematch for ages. He can't seem to accept the fact that I beat him in the past two tournaments. Bullying me at school is one way around it. But I told him no, and that I wasn't interested in an unofficial fight. That was on the first day of school. That day he…" she grabbed Namine's hands, "That was the day he said that he'd go after Olette if I didn't agree to fight him. I didn't want her to get involved. I didn't want anybody to get hurt. It was my business and my choice to face him in the end. But…"_

"_But?" Olette prodded gently, as she sat down on Selphie's other side._

"_But it didn't work out like you thought it would," Hayner concluded. He added, "Selph, I get what you're saying, but that's not fair. We're your friends, and we're supposed to stick together. Naturally, it would become our business."_

"_I've been wondering, ya?" Wakka spoke up suddenly, rubbing the stubble growing on his chin, "How did Rai and Fuu end up in the fight too? Even Seifer knows that matches should be even."_

_Selphie shrugged, "I thought so too. But apparently, he's more corrupted than we thought. Once I got to the Sandlot, the fight started immediately. There was no time to negotiate for a one on one fight."_

"_That bastard," Tidus spat, clenching his fists angrily though he didn't dare strike anything in the room, "That wasn't a rematch. That was just a brutal payback. What a spoil sport."_

_Sora crossed his arms, frowning down at his soaked shoes. His mouth stayed grim as he asked them, "What should we do?"_

"_Fight back and pick his brains out. What else?" Tidus snarled._

_Riku shot the blonde a stern look, chilling the growing rage in the room like ice water thrown over a tiny, kindling fire. He spoke directly to Tidus, "It would be a mistake on our part to act as immaturely as that ass-wipe, Ti. Lets give it a rest for tonight. We'll think of something to do later."_

_There was no room for any other suggestions after that. A while later, Mrs. Tilmitt came into the room and ushered everyone out for the night. As they all headed towards the main lobby, Namine lagged behind. She could only watch as indecision hung over every one of their heads, filling up the cold white space in the winding halls._

………

………

The end of the month rolled closer, and Namine recovered as slowly as Selphie did. Soon, all that was left was a yellowish residue under the faint scar on her cheek. It was not noticeable unless somebody scrutinized her face. But Namine could still see it there as clear as day any time she walked by a mirror and saw her reflection. Most of the times, she dared not even look at herself anyway. There was always that pale, pale girl staring back at her. She could not face her, especially if that was really herself.

The other person she could not face was Seifer. Seifer Almasy. If she ever noticed that he was anywhere within her sight, she would simply ignore him, and he would ignore her. On second thought, maybe he wasn't actually ignoring her though. Every time she saw the guy, she would high tail herself away from him in a flash. She might as well be as good as dead – it didn't matter to him. He would never know that she had felt every blow he landed on Selphie's rain-drenched body that night.

He wouldn't care anyway. He was the bully. Selphie was the victim. And she, Namine, was a nobody.

Every time she did get a glimpse of him though, she would think about that night and relive the moment in her mind. Getting punched and cut in the face really left a mark. That was twice now. It was like Seifer's signature attack, a signature she would always hate bearing.

But no matter how fired up she was about that boy, she was powerless to do anything about him. She could only rise above him and move on like she did with everything. Things came and went, and that was simply how it was all done for nothing is forever. Not even the Halloween dance right around the corner, even if it was occupying the other half of her mind now. Oh yes, it was quite bothersome trying to make plans for that upcoming night. It was quite bothersome making plans on not doing anything at all.

She was simply not going to the dance.

It wouldn't be that bad. Maybe she could run out and grab some sea salt ice cream? Considering that it was the pinnacle of fall and a night outside could freeze someone to death, it could put a damper on her idea for a cold treat. Another idea was to watch scary movies on Halloween night, and jump out of her skin at any given cause. Hey, at least she would not be watching something sappy or crappy.

Nope, her Halloween night would not be bad at all.

After all, she had no date anyway. Nobody asked her out. And… Sora was already going with Kairi, obviously. The redhead had been so excited on the phone that she missed the poorly concealed disappointment in Namine's pseudo-cheerful congratulations. It wasn't Kairi's fault that the sadness still stung Namine. Kairi didn't know about her feelings. If she did, Kairi would not have brought it up. Kairi was caring, sweet, and understanding. She was one of the few who openly acknowledged Namine's curse, and apologized for misunderstanding her. Kairi accepted her with warm open arms, and…

Namine was simply being horrible in return. She was rotten for distancing herself for such a trivial reason. Sora and Kairi belonged together, and both took great care of her as their friend.

So it greatly annoyed her that she could not accept them back.

Maybe if she had a date, she could have escaped a night of loneliness and boredom. But she didn't. She stupidly waited, hoping against hopes that Sora would change his mind and ask her. How horrible was that? And how impossible was that? The biting envy ate at her from the inside out. She had to admit that she was jealous, and very stuck.

It was also partly Hayner's fault.

Aside from their close friends, Hayner would send his "best wishes" to any guy who showed the any interest in her. There weren't a lot. Only two or three tried to ask her. But that was only because the other girls were taken. After that, any boy who had the slightest inkling of wanting to ask her out could be labeled as completely insane, and possibly masochistic. Hayner had a nasty habit when it came to "weeding out" the guys who could possibly hurt his little sister. But just for being born a few minutes before her, it did not give him the bragging rights or control over her life.

No matter how much she wanted him to leave her business alone, she did not have the heart to actually tell him this time around. He was still sore about nearly losing her that dark, stormy night. Though his meddling was beyond annoying, she still found it somewhat endearing.

Now Hayner utterly loathed the very ground Seifer walked on – probably more than she did. Her brother really was overprotective to the point that she didn't think it was healthy anymore. But she couldn't tell him that she would be all right, because she really didn't know. She wasn't a fortuneteller – she couldn't read palms or tealeaves. In a way, she was as oblivious to the future as anybody else.

For heavens sake, she couldn't even tell the future when it smacked her in the face.

But something changed a few days before the actual dance. It happened during lunch, and at the time, Namine was drowning in the conversation at the table. Technically, her ears were listening, but her mind was totally somewhere else entirely. Whenever she noticed her smile slip, she would just force it up again. It was the sad result of being dateless and tired, while everyone else was animatedly talking about his or her dance dates.

Surprisingly, Pence had been the first to plan a date with a girl from his photography class. Kairi and Sora were going as a pair, and Wakka was determined to ask Lulu later that day. Tidus landed a date with Olette since Selphie would be accompanying Irvine, one of the few willing chaperones.

And Hayner? He just randomly picked a girl from one of the many offers he received in the past couple of weeks. Namine remembered how he used their mother's stove pot as the raffle bucket one night. But why he hadn't built up the guts to ask Olette was mystery to her. She would be interested to hear about that, but Hayner would have to tell her when he felt like it. There was no way Namine was going to open that can of worms, since he seemed very serious about his feelings for their friend.

Namine thought of Riku last. He was getting plenty of offers too, if not more than Hayner and the other guys combined. Nobody knew whom he decided to go with. Not a word about his date had gotten into the school's gossip system it seemed. On the other hand, Riku did not look very enthusiastic at all either. Instead, he looked like he was ready to nod off any second if the conversation of dates, costumes, and rumors continued to drag on.

She sighed, looking away. Even if he didn't have a date, at least Riku did not seem bothered by it at all, unlike her. While he easily ignored the jitteriness at their table, she could not stop feeling antsy in her seat, ready to spring once the bell rang. Unfortunately, she still had some time to go.

Oh… her headache was killing her.

"Hellooo, Namine. Earth to the blonde-haired girl with the mismatched socks today!" Sora nudged her arm gently, beaming down at her.

Namine snapped out of her petty thoughts and blinked, shocked that he was talking to her.

After judging her look for a moment with concern, Sora's good-natured grin returned, "Well, what do you say?"

Namine pointed to herself, looking oddly at everyone's sudden scrutiny, "What do I say what?"

None of them said a word as they looked on with disbelief. Here they were, asking her the same question for the last couple of minutes and she hadn't even heard them! It was just then that Namine realized that some of her thoughts had followed bits and pieces of their conversation. She just hadn't realized that a part of her brain had actually kept up with them.

The only thought that crossed her mind now was 'Uh oh.' She should have thought of an answer.

Hayner gave her another nudge from her other side, "So sis, something on your mind?"

Namine sent him a sly look and answered disdainfully, "Well, maybe I could have been thinking about someone if a little guard dog wasn't my twin brother."

"_Older_ twin brother," Hayner emphasized for her with a playful smirk, "Aw, come on. Playing guard dog is my job. I need to keep other guys in line when it comes to my _little_ sister." He patted her on the head jokingly while she inwardly steamed. She would have clubbed him a good one if she had felt up to it. Instead, she settled on grabbing his hand and trying to bite it.

"Whoa!" Hayner jumped up, snatching his hand back. Everyone laughed at the siblings' banter, but the question would not die off from the list of table topics.

"So…" Kairi began, grinning at Namine, "Did anybody ask you or vice versa?"

For some reason beyond Namine's understanding, everyone eagerly leaned towards her, as if she was just about to tell the whole table some world-altering information. Even Riku seemed interested. However, nobody beat Hayner's proximity. Namine made a face and pushed his shoulder back before he could accidentally kiss her.

"Gross! Give me a reason why I shouldn't clobber you right now, Hayner!" She ground out, annoyance flashing in her eyes.

Her brother mirrored her irritated expression before snapping back at her, "Well _excuse_ me for worrying about you."

Namine shook her head, her face suddenly brightening.

"You guys really want to know?" she smiled triumphantly.

Everyone nodded.

"Nobody," she chirped.

They all waited, as if there was more that they weren't hearing. But when it became clear that Namine was telling the whole truth, their faces faulted into exasperation. Namine almost laughed, somehow finding amusement in the situation.

But Olette spoke up, concern marring her lovely face, "So are you going alone then?"

"No," Namine told her, "Nobody really asked me, and I don't feel like going alone. I think I'll just pass. There's always next year, right?"

"But Namine," Tidus whined, "The whole gang's going to be there, and you'll be withering away like some old cat lady!" Namine felt her face twitch for being compared to "some old cat lady."

Thankfully, Wakka gave a small rap to Tidus' thick head for her. "What little brudda means is that none of us want ya to be lonely on Halloween night, ya?"

His words melted her heart a bit, making her wish that she wasn't as stubborn as she wanted them to think. But before she could say anything, Olette chipped in on her behalf, "Then how about we ask Selphie if she knows any nice guys who would go with Namine to the dance?"

"B-but I–!"

"Yeah, that sounds great. Then we could all be there together," Sora agreed, smiling at the idea.

"I don't want…"

Hayner cut in, "No way! I'm not letting some random twerp go out with my little sister."

"But Hayner," Pence began disapprovingly, "You can't control Namine's life like that. I know you want to protect her, but she can make decisions for herself too, you know?"

"Exactly!" Namine tried again, "And I'm telling you guys that–!"

"Watch me, Pence! Namine's my sister. What if some creep decides to molest her or something? Then what?"

"Guys!" Olette silenced them sharply before Pence could respond, "Arguing isn't going to get anybody anywhere." Surprisingly, both boys calmed simultaneously and looked away from each other in embarrassment.

As the others continued to discuss back and forth about the dance and finding her a date, Namine turned away from them. She'd given up convincing them that she really did not feel like going to the dance if all she would be doing was tagging along as the third wheel with some unknown guy that Selphie would introduce. It galled her how her business had suddenly become everybody else's.

Well… at least it was only because they wanted her to hang out with them. She was their friend after all. It wasn't like they were trying to be ignorant – just the opposite really. There really wasn't anything to hold against them when they only wanted what was best for her, right?

Suddenly, she felt someone watching her from behind. Turning around, she noticed that Riku had taken a seat behind her at the empty adjacent table. She looked cautiously at Sora and Hayner beside her before she swiveled around to face her friend, "Hey Riku. What are you doing over here?"

Riku grinned slightly, "I was wondering what you were trying to say. It seems that some of us are being slightly insensitive."

Namine fought down a scoff, "Only slightly?" She shook her head wearily, and explained to him, "To tell you the truth, I thought that I'd treat myself to some ice cream or a scary movie."

"You do know that it's freezing at night. And Hayner would flip and hit his head if he knew you were thinking of going to the movies alone so late."

"He can go knock himself out," she giggled slightly. "I'm too old to go trick-or-treating. What else is there to do on Halloween?"

He looked up at the ceiling and answered her nonchalantly, "Well, there's a lot you can do. But how about you go to the dance with me?"

"You're joking right? You probably have a date already," she smiled disbelievingly at him.

He shook his head, "I'm perfectly serious, Namine. Would you like to?"

"I… I um…" It was hard getting her tongue to move after being struck dumb. Go with him? Riku?

She swallowed, "I guess I could."

"That's great. Then it's settled," he smiled back at her, "I promise you won't get bored with me around." His cool confident smirk was replaced by a smile that dawned on his face, like the kind a shy schoolboy would give to his secret crush. She blushed a stark pink as she tried to erase that thought.

Her thoughts wandered over to Sora and she wondered if he would be jealous once he knew that she had a date. Feeling guilty for thinking that, she mentally apologized to Riku. Currently, he was looking away from her. She suddenly felt sad to see him sitting there before her.

Her feelings for him were very different than the feelings she had for Sora. Namine could honestly say that she did feel some sort of attraction towards Riku; similar to the way she first admired Irvine and any other handsome guy. It was the kind of self-consciousness that bothered her. He made her anxious without meaning to. Even so, as her friendship with Riku grew, Namine realized that she could never go beyond friendship with him.

She tapped Riku on the shoulder, getting his attention again, "I hope Hayner doesn't skin you when he finds out."

Riku's devilishly handsome smirk returned as he answered her, "It's not like he can."

Namine shrugged uncertainly, but a smile hid her anxiety. Standing up, she excused herself from the others, heading up to the roof earlier than she usually did. Perhaps Roxas would be there. She had visited once in a while since the last time she'd seen him, but he had never showed up. She wasn't quite sure if he did that on purpose, but it never stopped her from going where she wanted to go.

There had been this one time when she saw him in the library. She had been listening to Selphie jibber on about how pointless math homework was when she caught Roxas between one of the nearby aisles. He had glanced at her once when he noticed that she had seen him, before turning away and walking straight through the bookshelves and into one of the walls.

Another time, he had passed her in the hallway just like any other normal person in the rushing student body. She would have missed him had he not turned to look her in the eye with those striking blue eyes of his, before he walked on again. If she had not been late for third period English, she would have doubled back and tried to talk to him.

And maybe she was just paranoid, but Namine had a gut feeling that he had been watching over her now and then. She shook her head wearily as she ascended the dark, narrow stairs to the roof.

Looking around for a certain ghost, Namine pulled her long blonde hair up into a low ponytail to prevent it from flapping wildly in the wind against her face. She occupied herself with the lofty scenery that a bird's eye view provided. As the time passed, she continued to wander around hoping Roxas would show up on his own.

But he didn't.

Namine shivered hard as she rubbed some heat into her goose skin arms, trying to chase away the biting chill of autumn. Her mind continued to wander where her feet could not. Roxas was someone that she couldn't figure out at times. One moment, he could be as cold as the arctic ice, and the next moment, he would turn into a curious little boy with a very warm heart. At least, those were the two prominent facets of him that she had caught.

Either way – she was very comfortable around him, despite his variable persona. But right now, she would have really liked to see him. What she missed was really just he, as someone she could confide in; be real friends with and not have to fake a smile for him. It felt like he could listen and accept her words. She could speak to him honestly, and he in return, would express his true thoughts to her.

So what if he was sometimes cold and rude. At least he was a true friend, right?

Oh, what was she thinking? Her other friends had all been very supportive of her recently. Even she thought it was a bit crude for her to think of them as friends and not true friends. But that was how she felt… Everyone in the group already 'buddied' up with someone else. Most of the time, Namine just felt like an extra arm or leg.

But with Roxas, she somehow felt like they were supposed to be there for each other. They just… fit. He was her buddy in a way. How fitting too – he, a ghost, and she, an indigo child. She could have laughed if the irony did not taste so bitter in her mouth.

She wished he were more than a ghost though. He was a person to her. But to everybody else, he was just an apparition. In her friends' eyes, she would always be seen as a lonely girl who could not make other friends (or boyfriends) without their help.

And she was lonely. She wanted to see him, and ask him if he wanted to find out about his past. Her head felt muggy with thoughts as she imagined what he would think, what he would say. She wet her chapped lips and shivered hard again till her teeth rattled, heading back for the stairs. The bell rang just then, signaling the end of lunch and the beginning of her free period.

Trying to discard Roxas from her mind, Namine hurried through the crowded halls of Twilight High to find Selphie in the library.

………

Namine sneezed loudly, earning herself and Selphie a round of sideway glares from the other people occupying the library with them. She murmured an apology before bowing her head again and tackling the math problems she had left undone the night before. Her mind buzzed frantically with confusing formulas. This was so _not_ her thing, but she had to get it done before seventh period.

"Gesundheit there, Nami," Selphie whispered to her, her green eyes startled, "You can't be catching a nasty cold in time for the big dance, can you?"

"Thanks, but I don't see why not," Namine mumbled wearily as she buried her face into her textbook again, "I must have been out on the roof longer than I thought."

Selphie blinked, fixing her gaze back onto her fashion magazine before the old, owl-eyed librarian could catch them for talking. After the coast was clear, Selphie muttered back, "Well, what were you doing up there? Olette told me that you keep skipping out on lunch." Selphie flicked through another page in her magazine. "Is it Roxas?"

Namine's head shot up, despite her dizzying fatigue. For some reason, she could feel herself getting defensive, "I just needed some fresh air. I don't get enough of it."

Her forehead collided onto the surface of the table again with a 'clunk' loud enough to get shushed by nearby students. She couldn't care less. Her face was as hot as an oven, and she couldn't quite figure out if it was her embarrassment or a brewing fever that caused it. She sighed quietly, "Everything's been so strange and unbearable lately. I feel like I can hardly move."

Selphie giggled under her breath as she turned another page, "You _look_ like you can hardly move. But I really do hope things will get better for you, Nami." She suddenly stopped paying attention to the glossy page in front of her, and looked up at Namine's downcast head, "And I think things _are_ about to get better for you. I heard Riku asked you to be his date. That's only a few days away, you know? This will give you a chance to come shopping with us, instead of locking yourself in your room to draw or something."

Groaning, Namine blinked away the dizziness from her eyes, "How'd you find out so soon? Riku only asked me last period!"

Selphie scoffed playfully as she crossed her arms, "I happen to have 20-20 hearing, unlike someone I know." She looked slyly at Namine, a smirk lighting up on her pink lips.

Namine tapped herself on the forehead, as she corrected Selphie, "Don't you mean 20-20 eyesight? Anyway, I just don't like gossip and rumors. Most of the crazy stuff that you hear isn't always true." She stifled another sneeze and complained into the crook of her elbow, "Oh jeez, I feel as sick as dog."

Selphie got out of her seat, "Do you need me to take you to Irvine?"

Namine wobbled to her feet, "Can you? I wonder if I can get there on my own."

"I wouldn't take the chance if I were you," Selphie said as she quickly helped Namine gather her things, "You might collapse who knows where, and not be found for ten years."

"I doubt it," Namine disagreed, but allowed Selphie to help her through the doors.

The halls were quiet, except for the muffled buzz of classroom activity as she and Selphie journeyed slowly through the bright yellow halls. Namine breathed harshly, feeling her throat tighten as the irritation settled in. Her nose was almost completely stuffed and she couldn't seem to stop coughing ever since they left the library.

"We should be there soon, Namine, just hang in there for a bit more," Selphie assured her.

"Okay. Thanks," Namine mumbled, her head pounding.

Sneakers squeaked to a stop before them, and a menacing voice sneered at them, "Well lookie, lookie – if it ain't Miss Rookie."

Selphie's angry green eyes glared at the new intruder standing before them. She snarled, "I'll bet it took you a few years to think up that jingle. What's a brick-headed idiot like you tagging around in the halls, Rai?"

"Right back at 'cha, sweets," Rai retorted. Namine remembered seeing him before. He was one of the guys who trailed after Seifer like a lost puppy. He and that other girl named Fuu, or something. They were practically attached to Seifer by the hip. Just then, she remembered Selphie's words back at the hospital.

_Fine. You're right. It was Seifer, Fuu, and Rai. I walked into a stupid trap, okay? They ganged up on me._

Immediately, Namine was on her guard, trying to stand up straighter. His figure kept sliding in and out of focus, but Namine forced herself to concentrate. She doubted Selphie would have a problem with a punk like him, even if he were on the mean and bulky side. Namine, on the other hand, was at disadvantage.

The way he sneered practically screamed Seifer-wannabe. Even the cheesy way he flipped back his dark, uneven haircut made Namine want to roll her eyes. He was sizing them up, though she doubted he would actually try to make a move at them now that they were inside the school.

He suddenly squinted at her, as if noticing her for the first time, "Hey, who's the lamb? One of your little friends?"

"Bravo, Rai. Your brain has finally reached pea-size," Selphie snipped sarcastically, "And not only is she one of my best friends, but she also happens to be Hayner Araki's little sister. You might just want to leave us alone right now."

"The Araki kid?" Rai snorted, though his mean, squinty eyes darted nervously around the empty halls, "So what? It doesn't matter. I ain't afraid of no newcomer."

Selphie was rapidly losing her patience with him, "You're fat, and blocking the way. So out of the way, you moron. Can't you see she's sick?"

Rai snorted again, making Namine grimace in disgust at the sound. But before Namine could react, Rai lunged forward and grabbed a handful of her hair, pulling her towards him. She stumbled, digging her nails into his hand and probably drawing blood because he hissed. But he just shook her hard and grunted, "Who cares if she's sick? It's not like that'd ever stop me. I don't care –"

Selphie shut him up immediately as her right foot nailed him in the face once, followed by a roundhouse kick with her left heel in the same place. It was the first time Namine had seen her friend fight, but it wasn't over. Rai was bending down, his free hand clutching his pain-numbed jaw. But his grip on her hair had not lessened in the least yet, despite Namine tearing at his rock hard fist. Selphie landed lightly on her feet and moved again to knock his hand away from Namine.

But Rai straightened up just then, only to have the air whoosh out of him as Selphie's powerful fist struck down on his stomach, missing her intended target. As Rai doubled over, he brought Namine down with him by her hair. Unfortunately, he landed on top of her, crushing her small form underneath his suffocating weight. Selphie cursed, looking unsure over how she could fight Rai without hurting Namine now.

By then, nausea was swimming through her senses, but Namine persuaded her stomach that now was not the greatest time to puke. Craning her face painfully to the side, Namine saw a pair of dark skate shoes appeared before her. One lifted up above her head, and slammed down onto Rai's knuckles, flattening his hand onto the floor. The foot kneaded his hand so hard into the stone surface that Namine could have sworn she heard the bones crack as Rai screamed out loud. The instant the pressure left the top of Rai's red and purple hand, the moaning boy let go of Namine's hair, but he did not get off of her.

Namine struggled to pull herself from under his weight, but her arms were still locked under Rai's heavy, quivering body. Just when she was about to give up, she saw a dark blur as a foot pummeled into Rai and sent him crashing away from her into another groaning heap. The injured bully did not even bother to get up.

Selphie ran to Namine's side and she pulled her up, her voice sounding higher than usual, "Namine! Say something! What just happened there?"

"I…" Namine began, but she could only stare at the dark skate shoes walking closer and closer. Her stunned eyes traveled up the length of his leg and up to the face of a familiar blond-haired boy. As he knelt down before her, she choked out his name.

"Ro-Roxas?"

Selphie muttered, "I thought as much."

Roxas nodded, his sky blue eyes showing concern, "Are you all right?"

"Y…yeah," Namine answered as Selphie cradled her head. She sighed painfully, trying to slow down her heart, "What just happened? I thought you couldn't really touch anything."

Roxas shrugged uncaringly, "Who cares? The thing is that I did it, you're okay, and I can probably do it again." His eyes were bright with wonder, as if he had just found a pot of gold under the rainbow. There was something fierce in his blue, blue eyes that made her feel uneasy.

"Nami!" Selphie spoke up again, "Hey, don't spaz out on me. What's he saying?"

"Nothing much," Namine answered absently.

"Then I want your attention," Selphie told her haughtily, before turning in Roxas' general direction, "Face it buddy, I'm going to do the hogging now."

Roxas rolled his sky blue eyes, "Is she always like this?"

Namine merely gave him an uncertain smile, "You tell me!"

"I honestly can't remember ever meeting this goofball," Roxas said wistfully, though a slight smile adorned his handsome face. Namine decided that she liked him better when he was smiling. At least it did not feel like she was losing him right now. Selphie sighed hopelessly at the incomprehensible conversation and pulled Namine back onto her feet.

"I can't believe Rai just popped out of nowhere like that. What a moron," Selphie reflected condescendingly, looking irritably at Rai's fallen figure, "We might as well tell Irvine that there's some road kill to clean up."

"All right," Namine agreed. If Rai came to and decided to blame everything on them, they'd be the ones who would get into trouble. After recollecting their things, Roxas and Selphie hooked their arms around Namine and towed her towards the infirmary.

………

Once inside, Selphie spoke to Irvine and explained the melodrama in the hall as he paged the school's administration office at once. Meanwhile, Namine tried to catch stolen glances of Roxas from the corner of her eye. He seemed utterly bored about waiting as he leaned against the wall beside her. His eyes were half-lidded as if he was thinking of something and nothing at all. She wished she could be as easy-going as him sometimes. Maybe it would help her spazzing heart.

Now that she thought about it… She had never really studied him before. She had often studied Sora when she knew he wasn't paying attention to her, and noted the similarities between him and Roxas. A part of her had probably even thought that the two were absolutely identical if they both had to same hair.

But on closer inspection, she noticed that Roxas had a faint white scar tracing from the back of his hairline to the hollow under his ear. There was also a faint dimple at the corner of his mouth that she had not noticed before. But like the scar, it was faint, as if he used to laugh and smile a lot before she knew him.

Namine smiled inwardly. She would have missed that dimple had she not seen it appear when he gave her one of his rare grins back in the hall.

"So Namine," Irvine addressed her lightly, "It seems we meet again. Selph tells me you're sick now."

She nodded, trying to focus her attention on Irvine.

"And that gorilla out there didn't help matters any," Selphie added indignantly.

"Don't worry," Irvine tried to placate her, "The headmaster will deal with him later. Quistis isn't happy with his behavior anyway. He's been roughhousing too much lately."

"First name basis with Dr. Trepe now?" Selphie narrowed her eyes. It looked like she was just kidding with him, but Namine could detect a note of jealousy when she heard one. She laughed softly to herself, but a cough made its way to her throat instead.

Irvine's attention returned to her again, looking thankful for the interruption, "Uh, Namine. When did you start feeling sick? Was it this morning when you woke up for school?"

"Maybe a little," Namine admitted, remembering her headaches. She winced. Her voice sounded like she had sandpapered her throat, "But I thought it would blow over."

Irvine shook his head, his chestnut brown hair swaying slightly. He grinned at her, "Tsk, tsk. Fat chance in this kind of weather though. Selph told me that you go up to the roof all the time. Be careful not to get caught." He spun away in his chair to retrieve some medicine and a cup of water for her.

Namine sent a glare toward Selphie as if to say she really appreciated her ratting her out. Selphie smiled sheepishly and mouthed an apology to her friend.

"You were on the rooftop alone?" Roxas asked Namine, finally sitting beside her on the beige couch. As his blue eyes bore into her own, Namine found that she could not look back into his inquisitive gaze.

Namine shrugged and whispered to him, "I wanted to talk to you again. But it was like you were trying to avoid me, or something. So I tried to wait for you. You must think I'm dumb, right?"

"No, I don't think you're dumb," Roxas answered, though his reply did not address whether or not he was actually avoiding her. But before she could try to prod him about it, Irvine swiveled back to face her.

Irvine was studying her oddly, cocking his head as he questioned her, "Were you just talking to yourself?"

"No! Not really, I was just… just…" Namine looked to the opposite wall and spotted a lopsided poster plastered there, "I was reading that poster to myself!" She pointed at it, mentally patting her back for coming up with that excuse.

But she heard giggles directed at her and looked strangely at Selphie. Even Roxas was trying to fight off the grin forming on his comely face. She couldn't figure it out. Even Irvine was having a hard time stifling a laugh.

"What's wrong?" Namine asked, growing a little annoyed.

Roxas tapped her shoulder and pointed at the health poster. Namine found it rather difficult peeling her eyes away from his pleasant expression as she turned to look closer at the poster. To say the least, she should not have looked. Almost immediately, her cheeks felt like they would simmer off her face as she scanned the big red words there.

Someone shoot her. Now.

Written in big bold letters on the crooked poster, it read, '**TEN FACTS ON HOW TO PRACTICE SAFER SEX!**'

Namine fought to appear unaffected, when really, she only wanted to throw herself into a blender and make someone bury her in a shoebox. If it was just she and Selphie, she knew she could have laughed it off. But with Irvine and Roxas in the picture, she couldn't trust her blood pressure.

Irvine finally held up a pill and the cup of water for her. He winked, "Here you go. Don't choke now."

Namine mumbled her thanks and quickly gulped the pill down, struggling not to notice the humorous stares she was receiving. After passing the cup to Irvine, Namine felt her face tingle a bit.

"Hey Namine, I'm going to let you go home early," Irvine said, "I would suggest that you stay home tomorrow too, and get as much sleep in as possible."

"I will."

Selphie asked worriedly, her face showing concern, "How will you get home? Maybe I can drive you…"

Namine blinked, trying to comprehend her friend. She answered slowly, "No, it's okay. I'll skate home like usual. I'm not that sick." Selphie did not seem assured, but she nodded hesitantly anyway.

"You skateboard?" Roxas asked suddenly.

"No, skateboarding is what my brother does. I roller blade," Namine whispered to him. She didn't know why he would want to know something like that, but that was the least of her thoughts at this point. She was too busy trying to fight off her headache to really mind a question like that.

Selphie poked her, "Hey, you sure you're going to be okay? You look really out of it."

"I'll live," Namine got up promptly. She took the pink excuse slip from Irvine's hand and prepared to leave. She turned back and smiled at her worried friends, "It's okay. I'll walk myself out. Thanks guys."

She left Selphie with Irvine and quickly headed for the office to sign out of school for the day. After that, she swung by her locker to pick up her skates, marching outside with cool determination.

But by the time she reached the school gates, her fake bravado melted. Feeling a bit stupid for not taking up Selphie's generous offer, she continued, ignoring her wobbly gait and hazy vision. Stopping at the tall intricate gate, Namine latched a hand onto the fancy black wiring to hold herself up as she caught her breath for moment.

"Namine."

Without looking at him, Namine asked, "What is it, Roxas?"

There was a moment's pause before he replied.

"I'll walk you home."

Lifting her head up, she squinted, trying to focus on him, "But I thought you were stuck here…" She smiled glibly at him, "Am I wrong?"

Roxas shook his head, his flaxen hair shimmering before Namine's fever-bright eyes, "I don't know, I've never felt like leaving school grounds. I guess this would be the first time I wanted to try."

Namine pressed her burning forehead against the cold gate, feeling the freezing wind tugging at her blue, pleated skirt. She inquired slowly, "Why is that?"

Roxas pressed his lips together, as if he was not willing to answer her. Namine sighed and pushed away from the thick, iron gate before forcing herself sluggishly onto the sidewalk. He was secretive, she knew that much. And right now, she did not have the strength to keep up a conversation with him.

His feet made not sound on the pavement as he followed beside her slow stride. Instead of settling on silence the way he usually did, Roxas said something under his breath, his voice as soft as the cool autumn breeze.

Maybe she heard him wrong, but she thought he had whispered something she had always wanted to hear from someone.

"_Because you matter."_

………

………

………

………

A/N: So, how'd you like it? I'd smirk right now, but emoticons don't show up on fanfiction . net. Boo. I know there's not much "heating up" here as in "_Too Far Over the Edge_" or "_When Love Blooms at Opposite Ends_," but that's okay. There will be more to look forward to in "_Deja Blue's"_ later chapters. The next chapter will also have a sweet Namixas scene. :)

A tribute to Chapter 9 reviewers: LoveKey , CerberAsta , Nami-Chan -LovesRoxas- , X-The Random Vampire-X , timekeeper1824 , snowyleopard , Malcolm Yuy , Flower of the Desert , lebrezie , okiegirlforever , MikanXNatsume519 , AquaFlameElementalist , VaniVanVan , catmaster101 , IrisedLuna , estrellaz , E Muja SN and TN , From The Stone Bridge , crazed-laff , Isabella Swan , kitty-gurl1 , Daiana , and Enoxico.

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_Do you have a "character song" for yourself? If you do, what is it and why?_

………

_**My Answer:**_

_It's "__**Idea**__" by a Japanese band called Eufonius. The song's rhythm and everything is really catchy – but I think it's the lyrics that really got through to me. In it, I could really see something about me that I had never tried to put into words before. The scary part is the irony and coincidence of what it reminded me about. But here are the lyrics. I understand that it is very hard to find them online, so I took the liberty to listen to the shorter version, and translate the best I could for you guys:_

**The golden sky is endless.**

**I gazed at it with you, not saying anything.**

**I touched your back with my shaking finger.**

**Silently, I was thinking as I looked up at you –**

**Making sure of your smile and your future.**

**I want to get rid of the "me" who only stands there crying.**

**The future is so close, **

**That I feel like I could touch it if I reached out.**

**If it's a possibility and not a dream,**

**Then I'm sure it's there beside us.**

**I'll change all my sadness into power,**

**And pass through the ends of limitless time,**

**Just so I can find you.**

**Even against the strong wind,**

**I'm still going forward.**

………

………

………


	11. Home Sick

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 11: Home Sick

………

A/N: Hey readers. I know there's been quite a delay, so for those who have come back to read or reread this story, I thank you for your patience. A lot has been going on at my end, and I can't say that I've been feeling well. I've been going to the doctor's quite frequently, but it's nothing to worry about. Just been a little sick.

_I haven't heard many complaints, and that does wonders for me and the continuation of updating the story. But for those who feel less than satisfied with my work, there are nicer ways to say it. You know who you are._

Please enjoy the long awaited chapter guys. I dedicate this chapter to those who have been very supportive towards me. :)

………

………

_Previous Chapter:_

_She left Selphie with Irvine and quickly headed for the office to sign out of school for the day. After that, she swung by her locker to pick up her skates, marching outside with cool determination. _

_But by the time she reached the school gates, her fake bravado melted. Feeling a bit stupid for not taking up Selphie's generous offer, she continued, ignoring her wobbly gait and hazy vision. Stopping at the tall intricate gate, Namine latched a hand onto the fancy black wiring to hold herself up as she caught her breath for moment._

"_Namine."_

_Without looking at him, Namine asked, "What is it, Roxas?"_

_There was a moment's pause before he replied._

"_I'll walk you home."_

_Lifting her head up, she squinted, trying to focus on him, "But I thought you were were stuck here…" She smiled glibly at him, "Am I wrong?"_

_Roxas shook his head, his flaxen hair shimmering before Namine's fever-bright eyes, "I don't know, I've never felt like leaving school grounds. I guess this would be the first time I wanted to try."_

_Namine pressed her burning forehead against the cold gate, feeling the freezing wind tugging at her blue, pleated skirt. She inquired slowly, "Why is that?"_

_Roxas pressed his lips together, as if he was not willing to answer her. Namine sighed and pushed away from the thick, iron gate before forcing herself sluggishly onto the sidewalk. He was secretive, she knew that much. And right now, she did not have the strength to keep up a conversation with him._

_His feet made no sound on the pavement as he followed beside her slow stride. Instead of settling on silence the way he usually did, Roxas said something under his breath, his voice as soft as the cool autumn breeze._

_Maybe she heard him wrong, but she thought he had whispered something she had always wanted to hear from someone. _

"_**Because you matter."**_

………

………

Normally on skates, the distance between home and school would have been five to ten minutes. Walking would take a little longer than that. But in this case, Namine was taking longer than 'longer' to get home. Her feet felt like they were walking on nothing; trailing unsteadily over the sidewalk as if she were walking on clouds. And her head. Oh God, did her head hurt. It hung from her drooping shoulders like a heavy, block of lead. Not to mention, her eyes felt like they were made of fire. If she was not careful, she could find herself face-planting into concrete.

Beside her, Roxas slowed his pace. Though his face was impassive, she believed he was probably thinking about something or other, and not really paying attention to her. Just then, she stumbled on the wobbly stilts that were her legs. His hand snatched her elbow to steady her, even before she realized she had been falling.

"Take it easy, Namine."

She nodded blearily, "Thanks."

The silence continued to draw on as neither spoke. Inside, Namine was scrambling for something to talk to him about. It had never been so difficult to speak to him before. Maybe she was too sick to think about something. Or maybe she was just embarrassed about what he said earlier. Nobody had ever told her she mattered before… at least, nobody with such intense and honest eyes.

It flustered her, as well as annoyed her. Suddenly, she wished Roxas was not walking beside her, though she could not quite explain why.

"Hey," Roxas began, "You're being quieter than usual."

Namine shrugged sluggishly, her shoulders drooping lower than before, "I'm sick."

"I see that," Roxas sounded a little cross, "But that only explains part of it."

Namine didn't have the strength to argue at the moment, "A lot of things are on my mind. Weird things."

"Does it have something to do with that new bruise?"

"Well," Namine started uneasily, "Sort of."

Roxas sighed, tugging at her elbow as he led them towards a bench before the ice cream shoppe. "How'd you get it?"

Namine sank into the seat gratefully. He was being too nosy for her liking, yet if their places were switched, she'd be asking too. "It's a long story that I don't feel like talking about. But you know you're not the only weird supernatural thing that's happened to me since I moved to this town." Suddenly realizing that she might have sounded offensive, she quickly added, "Not that you're personally weird or anything. I really didn't mean that."

Roxas shrugged uncaringly, the comment rolling off him harmlessly, "Doesn't matter. What matters is why you were hurt. I thought supernatural things can't normally harm people."

"I know," Namine groaned, leaning her heavy head backwards, "But there's something about this town that's making supernatural things so much stronger. I'm not just an observer anymore. It's like I'm being thrown into the middle of it all, and I'm not ready."

Roxas kicked some gravel by his foot, but it just passed right through his heel. He was frowning, "When is anybody ready for anything?"

"Never, I guess," Namine agreed. Instead of continuing with the depressing thoughts, she spoke up again, "Where will you be Halloween night?"

"At school," Roxas said with a slightly irritated tone, "I'll have to avoid the gym that night. There's going to be a lot of people at that dance. You're going with Riku, aren't you?"

"Only because he was the only one that asked," Namine replied defensively.

Roxas looked questioningly at her, "Why are you angry? It's because Sora's going with someone else, isn't it."

Namine remained silent as a quiet rage built inside her. Who did he think he was, asking her so many dumb questions? Was he trying to make her mad? Roxas was pretty good at that when he wanted to be.

"What do you think about it?" Roxas asked.

Namine's reply turned snappish, "Nothing! Why should I think about it? It's their business. Besides, I didn't know you were into high school gossip. How'd you know about Riku and me in the first place?"

"Even a ghost like me is entitled to hear something. I practically live in the school," Roxas replied easily, "And it's pretty obvious, isn't it? You and Riku."

"So?" Namine refuted, "Just because the school's going insane, and jumping to conclusions – doesn't mean everything everyone says is true. It's not a big deal."

"Maybe not to you," Roxas' blue eyes flashed, "But I think Riku might be serious. You might end up hurting his feelings if you don't make things clear to him. Anyway, you should take some time to think things over first before acting on them."

_You might need time – to think it over. _

_But I'm just fine, moving forward…_

"Roxas."

"What?"

"This isn't going to do," Namine sighed, putting her clammy forehead into her pale palms, "I really think you should get back your memories soon. Something just _doesn't_ feel right. Think hard for a second. Didn't you remember anything just now? Like… the words to a song you sang? Or why you feel so compelled to defend Riku?" Namine looked up at him, her fevered eyes making him look blurry.

Roxas closed his eyes, "I told you. I really can't recall anything tangible. My memories are always dancing on the edge, but I just can't reach them. As if…"

"As if what?" Namine prodded, her voice growing genteel.

"When you asked if I remembered the words to a song I sang and about Riku, I can honestly say I don't remember. But then I feel something familiar, until it all just blanks out on me," Roxas frowned in frustration, "I can't really explain what I'm trying to say. I don't even know what to call it."

"You could call it déjà vu," Namine offered.

He looked over at her, his sky blue eyes catching the sunlight and clearing the fog in front of her eyes for a moment. Neither of them said anything for a while. But before long, the tension ceased enough for Roxas to walk Namine the rest of the way home. When she had gotten the front door open and turned to thank him, he had already gone.

………

Faintly in the deep recesses of her mind, she thought she heard the house phone ringing. Feeling too cold to get out of bed and grab it, she waited in bed for someone in the house to pick it up. Namine shivered violently in bed. Silently cursing in her head, she struggled to go back to sleep. She had half a mind to pick up the phone and tell whoever it was to crawl back to hell. Sniffing irritably, she cursed her nose too. It felt like someone had stuffed wads of cotton and tissue up her sinuses, and all the way in to her brain. Now it would take forever and a half to fall asleep again.

"Araki residence, Hayner speaking. Who's calling and what do you want?"

Namine pulled her pillow over her head and ears. Hayner's voice was loud and obnoxious as it rattled her in her brain. When she got better, she was going to make him move to the basement.

"Oh! Hey man, what's up?" Hayner's voice rose enthusiastically. _Damn…_ Namine thought, _maybe he's forgotten that I live here too._

"Namine? Figures that I'm not loved. You do know that you're probably the third or fourth person who called to ask how she's doing."

A pause.

"Yeah, yeah, I know I'm not the one who's sick. Hang on a sec. I'll go see if she's still sleeping away on her big fat sleeping pill."

Seconds later, Hayner shuffled into her room as Namine rolled over to face him wearily. He grinned at her through the gloom of her bedroom, "Hey there sunshine. How was that sleep of yours?" Not even waiting for an irritated retort, he picked up the receiver from her desk.

"Yeah, I'm still here. I had to pick up the phone in her room. Unfortunately we don't have cordless ones."

Namine shook her head, taking aim at him with a stuffed animal. He dodged her clumsy throw easily as he danced around in circles, tangling himself up in the phone's cord.

"Yup, she's a wake now but she's not in a great mood at the moment… Hey, it's not my fault!... Okay, maybe it is then," Hayner laughed, "I know! At least I've got your sympathy. This is what we get for having sisters, Sora."

Sora? Namine dove for the phone, causing Hayner to choke on the cord that he had ensnared himself with. Hayner fought to untangle his arm, but Namine simply sat on his back as she yanked the receiver to her ear. Her knees pressed against the back of his shoulders, forcing him to stare face first into her carpet.

"Um, Sora?" Namine asked timidly, suddenly becoming self-conscious with how nasal her voice sounded.

"Hey, Namine. Wow, you okay?"

Namine felt giddy that he had called to ask about her well being, "Yes, but I'm on some medicine. Irvine said I had to a lay low for a bit, but otherwise I should be better really soon. How about you?"

"I'm all right," he answered, but added quickly, "But seriously, I heard what happened to you and Selphie on the way to the infirmary. We were all really worried."

"No, it's all good. Roxas and Selphie took care of Rai. He'll probably be suspended."

Sora remained quiet for a second before speaking again, "Okay then, I'm just making sure. After all that's happened recently, we can't help but worry a little. Anyway, I also wanted to ask if you're still going to the costume dance this Friday."

"But..." Namine's heart fluttered nervously, disbelieving her ears, "Wait, I thought you were going to the dance with Kairi."

"Yeah, I am. I'm just asking for Riku though," she could almost _hear_ Sora smiling, "He was a little nervous calling you himself. Can you believe it?"

"Heh… not really…" Namine mumbled quietly. She wasn't even sure if Sora heard her or not.

Sora continued, completely oblivious to her tone, "I've never seen him like this before, and that's saying a lot since Kairi, Riku, and I have known each other forever." There was a dramatic pause between them before Sora said, "You know, I think he really cares about you. He's never been so serious before."

Namine thought back to what Roxas said about hurting Riku's feelings. She had been hoping that Roxas was wrong; that Riku really didn't feel anything towards her. But now that Sora was saying it too, it was causing her some concern.

Realizing that he expected her to say something, Namine scrambled for a reply, "Oh yeah. Strange, huh? I… I don't really know what he sees in me actually."

"A lot, I'm sure," Sora assured her, "All of us do. You really are a special someone, Namine."

"Thanks… It really means a lot coming from you," But really, Namine felt even more burdened than before.

"Could you hang on a moment?" Sora asked, "I have another call on the other line."

"Sure," Namine said, her voice growing scratchier. There was a fuzzy sound before Sora's line went quiet. As Namine lowered the receiver and stood up, Hayner took his chance to free himself. Patting himself off, he was ready to snap at her when he noticed the look on her face.

Her brother nudged her shoulder, "Hey Namine. What's wrong? Did Sora say something mean?"

Namine shook her head. She was about to respond when Sora's line fuzzed again and her friend buzzed in brightly, "Hey, Namine! Kairi just called to make sure I called you like I said I would. Do you want a three way chat?"

While Namine knew that Sora was probably unaware of it, there was a tone of urgency in his voice. Realizing that he might just want to talk to Kairi alone, Namine declined, "Actually Sora, I'm feeling kind of tired right now. Please let her know I said hi. I'll see you guys when I get back to school."

"Oh, okay then. Take care of yourself, Namine. Get well soon!"

"I will. Thanks, Sora." With that, she hung up and dropped the phone on the floor, falling back onto her unkempt bed.

Hayner laid back as well, their heads bumping. There was a comfortable silence until Hayner brought the back of his hand up and knocked Namine's forehead, "What's eating you up inside? Your face might stay scrunched up forever if you keep up that frown."

Namine thought of a way to explain. There was no sense lying to her twin when he could tell instinctively that something was bothering her. She sighed, "Remember when we were eight and I said that love was stupid. And that I would never believe in it?"

"Well, duh," Hayner laughed, "You used to pretend you were an Amazon all the time."

"Now you're just getting off topic," Namine grumbled, but she smiled remembering her childhood, "Anyway. Now that we're older, I was wondering what you think about it now. Even when we were little, you never really said anything."

All traces of humor simmered down when Hayner noticed that his sister was being serious. He brought his arms under his head as they both stared up at the gray ceiling, "That's because I do believe in it. If I told you all those year ago, you think you'd let me live it down?"

Namine shook her head, feeling sorry all of sudden for never seeing this side of him.

Hayner fiddled with a fraying thread on her quilt. "Well, now you know."

Namine huddled down into her covers and asked him hesitantly, "How do you know what it is then? Do you feel it?"

"You mean, am I in love?" Hayner inquired boldly. "I suppose I am," he admitted after a moment.

"Um… With who?" Namine asked very quietly, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to though."

"You swear to secrecy?" Hayner held up his hand. Namine grabbed it, and hooked her pinky with his in a silent promise. Hayner started slowly, "Oh all right. I love Olette."

Namine smiled at him, "I knew it."

"You what?" Hayner shot up, "But I've never even told anyone!"

"Silly," Namine laughed, "Almost everyone knows you care about her. Kairi and Selphie sure talk about it a lot."

"You mean even Olette knows?" Hayner despaired.

Namine shook her head, "She won't take it seriously, unless you honestly tell her yourself. After all, Kairi and Selphie both like to exaggerate some things. Besides that, you come off as more of a player when it comes to getting girls."

Hayner grew defensive, "I flirt, but I don't play. You know I've never even had a girlfriend before."

"You know I know you better than that. When it comes down to it, I know you're just trying to look out for yourself and not get hurt. But also, you're waiting for the special someone, right?"

"Hm," Hayner agreed absently, as he twiddled with the thread again. "But she must like someone else, you know? She sure talks a lot about some other guys. What's worse is that she has to talk to _me_ about _them_."

Namine pat his hand, "I feel like our mom rather than your sister telling you this, but ever thought it's because she trusts you more? Sure she'll mention some things between us girls, but she rarely ever talks about guys with us."

"You think so?" Hayner asked, sounding more hopeful.

"No false hopes or anything," Namine said quickly, "but if you want her to know, you're going to have to tell her yourself sooner or later. Easier said than done, I know."

Hayner nodded, "I'd like to wait a little longer to see if my feelings are real."

"Don't let anyone push you then, Hayner."

He bobbed his head against the mattress. Feeling truly tired this time, Namine found herself dozing off. But before she could really fall asleep, Hayner's voice startled her again, "You're not getting off the hook so easily. What's with all this serious talk about love and stuff? I doubt you asked for no reason."

Namine blinked the sleep from her eyes, feeling a little sheepish for forgetting, "It's the phone call."

"Sora's?"

"Yeah," she sighed heavily, "Everything's changed since we got here, and it's as if I can't tune things out anymore. They just get crazier and crazier. Not only am I friends with Roxas, the school ghost, but I'm also some clairsentient weirdo now. But aside from all the psychic crap, I've myself in bigger crap. You know I've never had boy problems before."

Hayner grinned knowingly, "Sora and Riku, right?"

"I guess I'm pretty obvious too."

"We're too alike, huh? In some ways at least," Hayner nudged her arm, "You don't even have to tell me. Sora's after Kairi, you're after Sora, and Riku's after you. I get it."

Namine added, "It's come to the point I can't ignore the problem."

"So now what?" Hayner asked her, "Everyone knows Sora and Kairi are inseparable. And Riku… what about him?"

"I'm never going to get in the way between Sora and Kairi, because I won't hurt my friends. While that's great and everything, I'd hurt Riku if I told him what I really felt. I'd just be one stupid hypocrite."

"Hey, knock it off," Hayner chastised, "Stop it with the self abuse. I get what you're saying, but it's inevitable hurting Riku. As friends, you guys have to trust each other enough to be truthful."

"I know," Namine answered, "But why did this have to be between friends?"

Hayner scratched his head, sitting up again, "You don't know. I don't know. But I don't think anybody would know either. This is the way things are, so you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Don't let the problem worry you, just let the problem worry itself."

"Hayner…" Namine started, "You really do know a lot more than you let on some times. But just for the record, I'll pretend I understood the last thing you said, even if I don't."

"…I'll take that as a compliment. Anyway, do us all a favor and get your dirty little secret out there before things really get ugly," he cleared his throat, "Mom's called saying she'll be home late. I'll go fix something up before she gets back. I'll even make you some soup."

Namine made a horrified face and pulled the covers up, "Oh no. How will I know you won't accidentally poison me?"

"Oh shut up. You're lucky I'm being nice 'cause you're sick," Hayner stuck his tongue out at her before closing the door on his way out.

Without Hayner to keep her up this time, Namine turned over onto her side towards the desk, reaching lazily for her mp3 player. She put her earphones on and fell asleep, the weight on her chest slightly lessened.

………

The next day, Namine was still too sick to go to school. She reminded Hayner to get her homework for her before he left. Hayner, being Hayner, added that he would ask the teachers to give her extra. But just before he had slipped out of her room, Namine had thrown a dirty sock at him. Just as she was snuggling down once more, Hayner crept back to leave a glass of water and an Advil on her dresser before slinking out again.

Noticing he was really late for school now, Namine looked out the window to make sure he skated out of sight. After swallowing her medicine and crawling back into bed, Namine could finally breathe a sigh of relief. At least her brother wouldn't be home to babysit her.

Adding a sleeping pill to her healthy drug diet, Namine slept blissfully until a little past high noon when a sudden jolt shocked her out of her dreamless rest. Grumbling, Namine sat up, ready to attack the intruder with a nasty, verbal lashing, only to realize that nobody was in her room.

Finding it odd, Namine turned over onto her side, trying to shake the paranoia from her system. She could have sworn someone had shoved her awake. Hayner was at school, and he wouldn't do something so brusque to her when she was sick. He'd rather paint her face while she slept.

Her mind ran in circles, feeling as if she was trying to think of something but couldn't quite grasp it. Painted faces? The last time Hayner had painted her face was when they were eleven. She remembered tripping headfirst into the tub after seeing her awful reflection the morning after. Her face had stayed neon green for a day or two.

In retaliation, she had painted his beloved hockey mask baby pink and white. She hated the thing anyway. It was quite possessed and yet Hayner still kept it. Every Halloween since then, weird things had happened in house, like furniture moving by themselves or papers flying around in the air when there was no gust of wind. Heck, the stupid mask itself tried to suffocate Hayner not too long ago. No wonder the dumb thing was only fifty cents at that yard sale.

Namine sat up.

Reluctantly, Namine willed her aching limbs to shrug off her covers as she climbed out of bed. Pulling on a fuzzy blue robe with yellow star prints, she padded silently from her stronghold and down the hall to Hayner's messy den. Pushing the door open, Namine kicked a soccer ball out of the way and picked up an old moogle plushy off the hazardous, junk-covered floor.

Namine sensed a presence inside Hayner's closet. The strong prickly sensation on the back of her neck made her stomach knot up. She flung open the double doors and was only mildly surprised to see a few things lying around. Most of the contents were probably what littered the floor now. She definitely didn't need to look twice to see the hockey mask hung up on the wall. Its empty eye sockets stared emptily at her like that of a skull's. Even if she did not have extra senses, she would have had the common sense to toss the useless thing by now.

Frowning, she slammed the doors shut again and tried to pass off the nagging feeling that something was about to happen. There was a rattling sound inside Hayner's closet, making Namine turn back. If she was younger, she probably would have made a mad dash out of the room, but she was older, sicker, and quite annoyed as of that moment.

Flinging the doors open once more, the rattling stop as if it had never happened before. The mask stared openly back at her.

Namine snapped at it, "What do you want? I'm trying to sleep in the other room!"

The dirty, plastic mask stared back numbly, still offering no answer.

"You were the one that woke me up, so you better tell me what you want before I shove you into the smoothie blender downstairs."

The mask began to tremble, the clacking and rattling of plastic against the wall made Namine step back. She steeled herself, not sure what it was up to. Whatever it was was normally dormant any other time of the year. The times it did act up, it had never seemed so violent before. Once again, Namine cursed fate for leading her to this one town where everything supernatural was screwed up.

Suddenly, it stopped shaking. But Namine could tell when something was up to no good and ready to wrought havoc.

Grabbing the mask, Namine stomped over to her brother's window and shoved the glass and screen open. She launched the thing as far as she could until it cleared the lawn and rolled down the sidewalk to a stop right at the edge of the curb.

Sensing no more disturbances inside the house, Namine shoved the screen back in place and slammed the glass down onto the window ledge and locked it. Leaving one last glare at the mask that had been blown onto the road by the gusty, cold wind, Namine left Hayner's room.

Now that she was fully awake, Namine headed down the stairs and into the kitchen for something to eat. She finished off the leftover noodles that Hayner had made for her the night before, and only paused to concentrate now and then to sense if anything was amiss in the house. When she had satisfied her hunger, Namine kicked back on the couch to watch some TV.

She must have fallen asleep on the couch, because the next thing she knew, the front door was pushed open and Hayner's sneakers made a loud squeak before he yanked them off and tossed them to the side. Namine sat up and turned around sleepily just in time to see Hayner enter the kitchen. Turning off the buzzing television, Namine dragged herself into the kitchen too.

Hayner seemed a little surprised to see her, but he also looked amused, "I see you're up."

"Barely," Namine grumbled hoarsely. Spotting the quirking grin on his face made her want to draw an upside down smile over it with a fat, black marker. "Were you able to get my stuff?"

Hayner shuffled through the contents of his bag before he pulled out a sheaf of papers, "Relax, Namine. They're right here," he added, "I asked them to extend the due date a little since you looked so wretched when you left. But now I don't know why I bothered. You look ready to face Seifer head on."

"I love you too, Hayner," Namine hugged him, taking the papers from his hand.

Her brother pulled a disgusted face, "Don't rub all your germs on me. Now I'll probably get sick too. If I have a fever tomorrow and start seeing ghosts, I'll know where I got it from."

"Shut up," Namine said, stabbing his stomach with her finger. But she couldn't fight away the smile threatening to split her face as he comically danced away from her.

The phone rang suddenly, cutting all the banter momentarily. The two exchanged glances as the same idea flittered through their heads. After all, they used to play phone pranks when they were kids.

Hayner smirked at Namine as he picked up the phone. Putting on a suave voice, Hayner leaned against the counter, "Hello, you've reached Starman's Pharmacy. Sorry we're not here right now. If you are looking for vitamins, please call back tomorrow. If you're looking for condoms, please try somewhere else. Now leave a message after the beep. Beeeeep-- Huh? Oh hey, Olette… Uh, it's nothing. What's up?"

Hayner glanced at Namine, wincing a bit before he started talking again, "Yeah, I'll ask her for you. No, she's not sleeping. We're just trying to keep her from contaminating all the phones… Yes, it's absolutely necessary. We're afraid that the phones will grow mold if she talks into them. OW!"

Namine removed her foot from on top of his as he massaged it. She had a mean step.

"Ugh, no. It's just that Bigfoot happened to stub my foot just now. Okay, talk to you later, Olette. 'Night," Hayner hung up and sighed, sinking into a chair. He put a hand over his face, "Damn it Namine. I just totally embarrassed myself."

"Don't worry about it. Olette probably expected something like that coming from you," Namine shrugged indifferently.

Hayner sat up, frowning as he slouched forward towards her, "What did you mean by that."

Namine smiled lightly, shaking her head, "Never mind, Hayner. Now tell me what Olette wanted already."

"She wanted to ask if you could go shopping with her and the girls tomorrow afternoon for costumes. But only if you're up to it, Namine. We don't want to send you to the hospital too."

"Okay, but what about you and the guys?"

"We're going separately. It's supposed to be some surprise for both sides – Kairi and Pence's idea," Hayner told her in a mock-serious tone.

Namine nodded before suddenly remembering something, "Hayner?"

"Yeah?" he looked over at her as he grimaced at his foot, "Will you take a look at this thing? I'm probably not going to be able to go anywhere for the next couple days. And it's all your fault too."

"Hayner."

"What?" he grumbled back.

Namine wondered if she should tell him about his mask now that she had his attention. Even if he did get mad, his foot would stop him from chasing her around, right?

"You're not going to like this, but… I tossed you mask out the window today. It fell somewhere out on the road, so it's probably totaled by now."

"You _what?_"

Backing towards the stairs, Namine laughed sheepishly, "Remember when I said it was cursed? It is, and it looked like it was going to hurt me, so I got rid of it. I guess you're just going to have to find something to replace it. Um… I hope that's okay with you."

Namine couldn't have been more wrong about Hayner's foot, which seemed to recover in an instant, as he scrambled after her around the house. Slamming the door to her room, Namine called through the wood, "I'll find a way to make it up to you!"

And just as promptly, she tuned out his onslaught of 'how could you's' to focus on her homework.

………

………

………

………

A/N: And so this concludes Labor Day weekend. There was going to be more NaminexRoxas in this chapter, but I had to shorten it a bit to make the story flow better. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed what was there.

_Thanks to Chapter 10 reviewers:_ Flower of the Desert , E Muja SN TN and EN , okiegirlforever , CerberAsta , LoveKey , Malcolm Yuy , KhanomAna , Enoxico , Kit-Kat-Wafer , AquaFlameElementalist , maluka , Bean-Sprout , NobodyNParticular , The Stone Bridge , VaniVan , crazed-laff , .Nana Potato. , The Second Sight Alchemist , lebrezie , EpicNamiHikari , LightOne , Magnet for Trouble , timekeeper1824 , estrellaz , Tater Tots , BlueNobody , Ravey101 , Natalis , RoxasxLoverxDarius , eCZi , Insane Hypocrite , crystalclear0o , yasu-yasu , kai lun an , Ojou-chan , Cureffu , LightxxDark , jcola0823 , Annie Mae , Sara , YearOfTheKitty , Akane Naomi , Dece , Crystal Nami , Meep Forever , Uchiha, Nami , Hikoru, Aniki , and DearlyBeloved-13 .

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_Do you believe in Darwinism or do you believe in some other/religious way that life came about?_

………

_**My Answer:**_

_Darwinism sounds the most probable to me. That doesn't mean I don't believe the universe has its secrets though. Where do miracles come from? Who guides the events that happen in this world? There are too many unanswered questions and circumstances. Maybe it's a mix? Who knows._

………

………

………


	12. Bittersweet Treat

………

………

………

………

_**Deja Blue**_

_Author: Kintora_

………

………

Chapter 12: Bittersweet Treat

………

A/N: Long overdue chapter. I know guys, but here it is! I'm just getting adjusted to this new school year, so please expect some delays. I'll try to keep cycling the updates as I go, so be sure to check out the other stories so you won't be bored waiting. ;)

Onto the story, guys!

………

………

_Previous Chapter:_

_Namine smiled lightly, shaking her head, "Never mind, Hayner. Now tell me what Olette wanted already."_

"_She wanted to ask if you could go shopping with her and the girls tomorrow afternoon for costumes. But only if you're up to it, Namine. We don't want to send you to the hospital."_

"_Okay, but what about you and the guys?"_

"_We're going separately. It's supposed to be some surprise for both sides – Kairi and Pence's idea," Hayner told her in a mock-serious tone._

_Namine nodded before suddenly remembering something, "Hayner?"_

"_Yeah?" he looked over at her as he grimaced at his foot, "Will you take a look at this thing? I'm probably not going to be able to go anywhere for the next couple days. And it's all your fault too."_

"_Hayner."_

"_What?" he grumbled back._

_Namine wondered if she should tell him about his mask now that she had his attention. Even if he did get mad, his foot would stop him from chasing her around, right? _

"_You're not going to like this, but… I tossed your mask out the window today. It fell somewhere out on the road, so it's probably totaled by now."_

"_You what?"_

_Backing towards the stairs, Namine laughed sheepishly, "Remember when I said it was cursed? It is, and it looked like it was going to hurt me, so I got rid of it. I guess you're just going to have to find something to replace it. Um… I hope that's okay with you."_

_Namine couldn't have been more wrong about Hayner's foot. Recovering in an instant as he scrambled after her around the house. Slamming the door to her room, Namine called through the wood, "I'll find a way to make it up to you!" _

_And just as promptly, she tuned out his onslaught of 'how could you's' to focus on her homework._

………

………

The next day, Namine was sluggishly getting ready for school when her mother burst into her room. She was in the middle of buttoning up her white school blouse when the sudden thwack of the door against the wall made her jump. Namine shrieked, covering her chest as she sent her a death glare.

"Mom! There's something called knocking before entering!"

Her mother grinned nervously, and Namine was suddenly reminded of Hayner. "Sorry honey, but I just came to tell you that I want you to stay home one more day."

Namine stopped buttoning the buttons she had been fighting with earlier.

"What – why?"

"Because you're still sick," she said simply as she walked over to Namine's bed and picked up her blue t-shirt and sweats. Namine opened her mouth to protest, but her mom waved her off. "Honestly, I don't see why you're pushing yourself. Your face is still flushed."

Not wanting to argue with her, Namine took her pajamas back from her mother. She didn't see why her mom was so concerned. Normally, she just let her take care of herself. Namine watched her suspiciously as she backed towards the door again.

"I'm going to make you some honey milk before I leave for work," she announced cheerily.

"Mom, you really don't have to…" Namine trailed off, watching the luster of her morning smile fade.

She brushed a stray lock of caramel hair from her tired face. Namine blinked, just noticing the increased number of age-lines that she hadn't noticed before. Her mother sighed gently, "I know, sweetie. But I want to. I feel like I haven't really been there for you or your brother recently."

Immediately, she felt guilty. Her mother was trying so hard to juggle work and family, it was no wonder she was exhausted all the time. And there she was mentally complaining about how her mom was relying too much on her rich, faceless aunt.

Her father's disappearance from their lives had caused such a rift in everything. Ever since the accident, Namine felt as if her family had broken apart. While she and Hayner stuck together, she had to wonder if she'd alienated her mother too much. She wondered if her mom ever thought that way too.

Her mother gave her a little wink before disappearing out the door again.

Staring after her a little longer, Namine slowly stepped out of her uniform and slipped back into her old shirt and sweats. As she crawled back into bed, she made a mental note to pay more attention to her mother next time. Maybe ask about her day and such. Parents liked that, didn't they?

She couldn't remember the last time things were completely normal between them. She couldn't even remember the last time she told her mother her feelings about anything, even though her mom tried to get her to open up. But Namine had always been closer to her dad as Hayner was to their mother. When he was gone, she felt even more detached from her.

Not that she didn't love her, but it was just hard being around her without thinking about the loss of her father.

"Honey?" She pushed open the door again and poked her head in. Namine's eyes were closed, but she could feel her gentle gaze as she walked over to the bedside table. Her mom set the steaming mug down and sat down on the bed, the springs groaning quietly under her weight.

What she hadn't anticipated was a cool hand cupping the side of her face. Her eyes opened tiredly, "Mom?"

"Hm?"

Namine sat up slowly again, pulling the covers around her. "Why? Why did you want to move us here?"

"I thought you liked it here. Hayner told me you both have made a lot of friends. I'm really happy that you have, especially you, Namine. After…"

"I know," she said, cutting in quietly, "That's not what I mean though."

Her mother gave her a probing look, knowing Namine had more to say but wouldn't say it. There was a moment's pause before the older woman spoke again, "I know you're still hurt and angry deep inside, even if you don't show it all the time. But we all have to cope. It was not your Aunt Yuki and her family that are at fault. Your dad was just at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I don't blame them," Namine felt her eyes grow hot, but she schooled her face into a neutral mask, "Not really."

"I know. But you've been blaming yourself too."

Namine shot her a hard look. "Hayner told you?"

"No, I just know. We all look for people to blame, but in the end, we blame ourselves the most." She patted her knee. "Namine, I know it's tough but at one point, you need to let it go."

Namine's face crumpled a bit, so she turned away, not wanting her mom to see she hit a sore spot. But she must have noticed, because she dropped the issue and continued onto something else.

"Listen," her mother began hesitantly, "Aunt Yuki invited us over for Christmas this year. It sounds like the perfect time to get together as a family. You and Hayner still need to meet your cousins."

Namine wanted to tell her that she didn't want to, but it was a moot point. Her mother was not very strict, but even she would make her go. Besides, she already said she didn't blame them. But if they wanted to see her family so badly, why haven't they visited yet? Namine had a gut feeling that her mother knew but was keeping it under wraps.

Her mom only smiled, picking at Namine's fraying quilt the way Hayner had. "Perhaps you have already met your cousin in school, and didn't know it. We thought the surprise would be worth it."

Namine didn't like surprises, but she managed to fight the frown threatening to darken her aloof expression.

"I still need to tell your brother," she continued to grin a little nervously at her daughter.

"I can tell him for you," Namine said, not looking at her.

"No, it's okay. I have to be the one to tell him." She bit her lip – something that Namine often did. "I'll tell him tonight."

"Don't worry. I think he'll understand…"

She nodded, and patted Namine's knee again. "Speaking of Hayner, he did tell me about this Halloween dance coming up soon. He said you may be going shopping later today with some friends."

"Yeah," Namine mumbled, not really looking forward to it. Thoughts of the dance had her stomach twisting with butterflies and knots.

"I want you to have fun," she told her softly as she stood up again. Namine opened her mouth to say something, but her voice caught in her throat. Why was it so hard to say a simple 'I love you' to her?

"Thanks," Namine coughed awkwardly and pointed to the steaming mug beside her.

There was a moment of silence again, as a sort of wordless communication passed between them. Suddenly, her mom's face lit up like the way it used to when her dad was around.

"I love you, Namine," she smiled before shutting the bedroom door again.

………

Namine jolted awake, her body drenched in cold sweat. Her breath came in and out choppily, like she had forgotten how to breathe. With huge, uneven gulps of air, she huddled against the wooden bed post.

It was that dream again.

She touched her face where old tears had dried and new ones had spilled, cascading down her burning cheeks and onto her neck. Namine could only replay the terrible sounds, the crazy flash of headlights, two bodies falling, the car screeching away… over and over again in her head.

She could see her father dying, bleeding, and struggling for his life on the hospital bed. She saw his cloudy, blood shot eyes as he watched her standing frozen by the ER doors. She saw the light slip from them as he parted his lips to say something. She heard her screams as she was taken away from him. And she saw the doctors – the doctors who could only shake their heads.

Namine grabbed her pillow, twisting the cotton cover viciously. Digging her face into it, she breathed. Once. Twice, gasping. Squeezing her wild eyes shut, she let a frustrated scream tear its way out, as her fist beat the mattress in agony.

There was no way she could go back to sleep now. She was too scared to see it again. She wasn't brave enough. Feeling sick, she willed herself to gulp down her tears and ignore the ringing in her ears. Her heart continued to beat frantically, as if pumping her blood backwards through her body. She groped for her iPod and looked at the small screen. 4:15 pm.

Get a grip, she scolded herself as she stumbled towards the shower.

She called Olette as she toweled down her hair. They agreed to meet up at the mall. It was in one of the busiest places in town, and was quite far according to the directions. Namine hadn't even been there yet. The quickest way to go was the train, so Olette gave her directions and said they would all meet at the coffee shop near the food court.

Hayner wasn't home, so she left a note. Then she grabbed her coat, bag, and peppermint scarf and was out the door.

What Olette forgot to mention was the fact that there were two different food courts and three different coffee shops. And Namine still needed to get a new phone, so she hadn't the faintest clue where she was supposed to be. After a while of wandering, she had to stagger into the nearest coffee shop to rest. It was a freak chance that she met up with them there.

"Jeez, Namine. What took you so long?" Selphie asked the instant she saw me, "Wow, you still look pretty flushed."

Olette shook her head, "Sorry. I forgot to tell you exactly where we'd be. We come here so often, it just hadn't crossed my mind."

"Don't worry," Namine grinned weakly, "So what are we ordering?"

Kairi pulled her dark red hair back into a ponytail, "I always get their caramel lattes. They're sweet, creamy, and really good."

Olette looked at the menu above the cashier's head, "There's black coffee or espresso if you're not into sweet stuff."

"I think I'll get some juice," Namine shrugged, just wanting to sit down.

Selphie pointed to the other side of the chalkboard menu, "Then get their apple cider. It's too cold to drink something cold. Besides, you're still sick." She squinted at the board, "I'm getting tea this time. Lemon and peppermint… maybe I'll ask them to add some cinnamon too." Olette and Kairi grimaced while her back was turned.

Once they finished ordering, the four of them found a little corner booth in the back of the shop. Namine sat next to Kairi as Olette and Selphie took their seats across from them.

It was nice, just having the four of them all together for once. There were things girls could talk about that guys shouldn't overhear. As they waited for their drinks, Namine took her time observing the subtle touches around the humming coffee shop. Each little corner and table of the room had its own little private space. A tiny light dangled above every table, casting an intimate atmosphere. She stared at the translucent blue shell of the lamp hanging above their table, her vision swimming a bit.

There were little distractions, and music beat in the distance without drowning out the gurgling mini waterfall on the other side of the room. It looked vaguely like a tavern with its wooden walls and cobblestone floor. She could see how it was coffee shop during the day and a lounge bar at night.

Namine made a mental note to come by again, perhaps on her own time to draw or write. The man who ran the shop, seemed nice enough. He was handsome for his age, and the laugh lines on his face reminded her of her father even though they didn't look alike in any other way. The thought made her heart pang a little as she watched him chat familiarly with customers as he took their orders.

She couldn't help but notice that a lot of the customers were middle aged women. If she watched closely enough, Namine could see a few of them giving him appreciative looks. But he must have felt her stare too as he caught her gaze.

Namine flushed and looked away, not wanting to seem rude. Olette asked her a question, but Namine didn't hear it and just nodded her head absently. Before she could wallow in embarrassment, their drinks arrived.

"Hello my lovely regulars. One caramel latte for Kairi, black coffee for Olette, and lemon-peppermint tea for Selphie," the waiter announced as he set down the drinks. "And one apple cider for the young miss I do not know yet," he said as he held Namine's drink before her.

"Thanks, Darragh," Kairi said brightly. She gestured towards Namine, "This is Namine. It's her first time here. Namine, Darragh owns this little shop."

"Pleasure to meet you, Namine," the man spoke warmly.

Namine looked up and barely managed to hide her shock at seeing the man she had been ogling just a moment ago, "Hi. I'm kind of new in town."

Darragh nodded understandingly, "I'll leave you girls alone now. I need to go back to work. Halloween's just around the corner and you know how crazy people get when it rolls around, so take care of yourselves."

"We will!" Selphie chirped as they waved goodbye to him.

"He's nice," Namine mumbled after he left.

Selphie sighed, "If I weren't after Irvine, I think I'd go after him."

Olette shook her head. "He's old enough to be our father, even if he doesn't quite look it."

Kairi shrugged and sipped her caramel latte and winced, "Looks like we've got a while for our drinks to cool."

That sparked another conversation, and before she knew it, any melancholy thoughts about her father melted to the back of her mind. The chatter died down after a while and somehow turned more serious. Kairi was fiddling with her thumbs when Namine looked back at her again. Olette and Selphie were also trained on the redhead, their identical green eyes never wavering.

If Namine were Kairi, she would have felt a little antsy under the attention too. Small wonder why her friend couldn't look up at any of them.

Selphie cleared her throat, "Well?"

"Well what?" Kairi finally muttered, looking at her frothy drink, "Sora's just my best friend."

"We all know it's more than that," Selphie scoffed. She rolled her eyes, drinking her strong tea, "Anyone with eyes can tell."

"Selphie," Olette chided her sister, giving her a warning glance.

Sensing it was a delicate matter, Namine tried harder to come up with something appropriate to say. Finding nothing, she covered herself by taking a gulp of the scalding cider in her hands. She couldn't help but feel uneasy, watching Kairi gnaw her lip. She had always seemed so confident, so relaxed around Sora. Namine, for one, couldn't understand why Kairi suddenly couldn't talk about him.

Namine nudged her gently. "Hey, don't do that. You look like you're going to split your lip."

Kairi snapped out of her dazed reverie as Namine found her chap stick and handed it to her. "Here, use this. And don't worry. I haven't used it in a while."

Smiling, Kairi took the balm from her. "Thanks." When she was done, she gave it back.

Selphie and Olette seemed to have forgotten what they had been talking about and were immersed in some debate about costumes. Namine turned away from them, and spoke quietly again, "Kairi?"

"What's up?"

Namine's eyes darted to her hands, fiddling with the lip balm. "Why are you upset?"

Kairi looked like she was about to deny it, but seemed to think better of it after a second. She spun her steaming cup slowly in her hands. Namine's patience was rewarded when she finally spoke up.

"Everyone's just so… so…" Her brow puckered in thought. "You see, everyone keeps pressuring us to get together. Sora _is_ more than a friend to me, but I don't want to mess up our relationship."

"It makes sense," Namine agreed, even though it stung a bit talking to her about him. But if she could make Kairi feel better by talking it out, Namine figured she could set aside her own feelings.

She blinked, realizing something suddenly. It used to hurt a lot more when she thought about Kairi and Sora together. For some reason, it didn't hurt as much now. She still liked him, but she accepted that Kairi's feelings for him stemmed far deeper than hers.

In a way, it was like letting go, slowly but surely.

Kairi continued darkly, "It's expected though. I already messed up enough."

Namine was baffled. "Already?"

"Because…" Kairi's voice grew oddly strained, "Before high school, it was always Sora, Riku, me… and Roxas. As we grew older, it was suddenly like everyone expected me to pair up with one of them. I don't know why I did it, but I tried to meet those expectations."

Namine couldn't stop herself from asking. "You were with Riku and it ended badly?"

"No. I was with Roxas."

………

Namine came home that night with a shopping bag in tow. She unraveled the scarf from her neck and added her coat to the lump of clothes on her floor. Changing quickly and stumbling out the door again, she padded downstairs for some dinner. The sight she was met with was not dinner on the table, but a plate of Oreos and a carton of milk.

That was when she noticed both her mother and brother were present. Before she could slink away, they saw her and called her over. It reminded her of the day when she and Hayner crowded around some Oreos. The two of them had talked about their first day in school and about Roxas.

Roxas. The first time she met him, Namine would have said she really disliked him. He seemed like such a cold, arrogant prick. Helping him had definitely been the furthest thing from her mind. But just when did that all change?

When Kairi mentioned him today, Namine had the strangest feeling. It made her heart pound and her palms clammy. Of course, she didn't elaborate and Namine didn't want to ask any further. Normally, she would have jumped at the chance, but today she didn't.

Maybe… Maybe she was afraid to know what happened. What if his friends – her friends – were somehow responsible for his death? Was that why no one talked about it?

"Hey Namine. Don't just stand there," Hayner said as he dug in for more cookies.

Namine sat down, glancing at their mother. Hayner didn't seem angry, so she couldn't tell if he already knew about the Christmas party or not.

"Mom told me about the Christmas thing," Hayner added, as if he could read minds.

"Oh. What do you think then?"

He shrugged. "I don't know if I should hug them or punch them when I see them."

"Hayner!" their mother scolded.

"Just kidding," he grinned, though it didn't reach his eyes, "I'll meet them, only because I have to."

"I think you'll like them," their mother said slowly, "The last time I met her husband was at their wedding. From what I recall, he was a very friendly person. Anyway, your Aunt Yuki is really excited to finally see you two again."

"Were they at the funeral? We would have seen them then… if we actually knew who they were," Namine reasoned as she pulverized the Oreo with her fingers.

Hayner looked like he was about to say something, but their mother beat him to it. "You probably did. They were there for a very short time. They had to go find their son since he… didn't show up."

"Some cousin he is," Hayner snorted, "Who the heck is he?"

"Mom said it would be a surprise."

Namine's brother looked at her, but didn't say anything. The slight frown on her face must have told him that she was just as unhappy with the circumstances as he was. He slapped a palm against his forehead and sighed in exasperation. It seemed the family gene that encoded the joy of surprise was never passed down to either of them.

The next day, she woke up feeling much better and indulged herself with a long hot shower. It was finally Friday, which meant a whole weekend of no school. Even though she was out of school while she was sick, Namine could only lie around like a vegetable and do her homework. She vowed never to potato-couch again, though she doubted it would stick. Namine just hoped that the sofa cushion hadn't left impressions on her butt while she had slept away on it.

That was when she realized this Friday night would be the dance. Namine couldn't help but feel a brick of dread drop into the pit of her stomach.

As the school day started, she couldn't help but watch the drama unfold around her. The student body seemed to be buzzing about the costumes and pranks – whatever related to Halloween was all anyone talked about. As usual, she walked from class to class without getting caught up in all the hustle and bustle.

It was harder to fend off her friends' enthusiasm though as their lunch table was consumed by the Halloween bug. Namine didn't mind, as she smiled and laughed along. After talking to Kairi the day before, she couldn't help but feel her gaze always being drawn to her and Sora. It came to the point that she didn't notice when she was staring until she got caught. Namine had to force herself to pay attention elsewhere.

Riku appeared as he normally did, and nothing seemed to change between them either. It hadn't been the first time this week that she wondered whether or not he actually asked her to go to the dance with him. And it wasn't like this dance was the prom, so she didn't understand why it was getting under her skin. If he hadn't reminded her that he would pick her up at seven, Namine would've had further doubts.

However, things were not so simple on her part. Being Riku's date had its draw backs too. His fan club of plastic Barbies wouldn't leave her alone. Most of them cast her long looks under their thick lashes and stuck their painted middle fingers at her when they thought she wasn't looking.

After a while, Namine felt like putting thumbtacks on their seats, just to show them how much a pain in the ass they were being.

Her classes passed by like a blurry mess as she dragged herself from classroom to classroom. Before she knew it, school had ended.

And she hadn't seen Roxas at all. The very thought made her feel as if someone grabbed her heart and gave it a sharp squeeze.

Back at home, Namine flopped down onto her bed. She looked at the watch on her wrist and groaned. The evening wasn't passing any quicker, even though she was hoping for the night to end already. She was just starting up her computer when she heard the kitchen door open and close.

Hayner's first reaction to her appearance at the foot of the stairs was weird. He jumped as if he had just done something wrong.

"I can explain, Namine. I know I've been coming home late, and that you've been covering for me."

Namine gave him a strange look and simply headed for the fridge for something to drink.

"We've been practicing for a gig tonight, since the guys decided to build the band back up again. Ever since Roxas..."

"Hayner, it's not like I'm your scary, over-bearing girlfriend," she stopped him, "You don't need my permission to stay out late. Just make sure you tell mom why."

Hayner tossed his bag down and foraged for some food. "Mom won't understand."

"How do you know?" Namine asked, "Anyway, I'm betting you won't quit the band after just one gig. You're going to have to tell her sooner or later. I can't cover for you all the time."

"All right, all right," he muttered agitatedly as he headed towards the TV.

"So..." She sat down on the other side of the couch as he flipped from channel to channel, "This means I get to hear you sing for real. It won't be the ridiculous songs you warble in the shower, right?"

Hayner looked unamused, "That's right, pest."

"I'll leave if I hear your voice crack," Namine teased him.

Before she could dodge it, a couch pillow smacked her right in the face.

………

………

………

………

A/N: Please review guys! I know a lot of you are loyal reviewers, but I know I haven't heard from some of you. I always read what you guys say, so feel free to speak out loud to the author.

Also, I highly encourage fanart for this story. If you haven't checked out **Bean-Sprout's** awesome picture of Namine and Roxas, go check it out. You can find the link in my bio.

_Muchos gracias to Chapter 11 reviewers:_ .Nana Potato. , Meep Forever , VaniVanVan , Hiwiwy , Kit-Kat-Wafer , crystalnami , timekeeper1824 , Akane Naomi , LoveKey , pinktonks , Wint , Lebrezie , AquaFlameElementalist , BlueNobody , jcola0823 , CerberAsta , RoxasxLoverxDarius , angledawn , BlackRoseMuffin , From The Stone Bridge , Dime Store Magic , Angelic Lily Maiden , KasperLassie , Ravey101 , Nears Twin , E Muja EN -KittenThatAteSora- , Meeva , Hero Of The Hazard , akabins , Lydia-hime , Lycoris Calantha , FrozenFire42 , Midnight Raining Down , easterlily16 , VioletCherry , kitty-gurl1 , EggrollPerson , Zlegna120 , KeytoDestiny , SaturnDrops459 , Himig , XxXxOoberRawrxXxX , NightRaven13 , hinataonicha , rikku247 , Oracle's Song , and Iris the Goddess of Rainbows.

………

………

………

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

_What is the most meaningful thing that anyone has ever said to you? Your favorite quote? It can be words of wisdom or even words of insult, as long as those words are what have affected you most._

………

_**My Answer:**_

_The next time you think someone is smarter or better than you, be assured of this: __"To a mouse, which has only a mouse's view of the world, it must seem that an eagle can see and know everything. But an eagle doesn't know everything. An eagle only has an eagle's view of the world."_

………

………

………


End file.
